


iDon't Remember

by We'reAllGoing



Category: iCarly
Genre: Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-10
Updated: 2014-05-04
Packaged: 2015-05-25 09:14:38
Rating: T
Chapters: 24
Words: 67,079
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7370514/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2348465/We-reAllGoing
Summary: I woke up next to a burning car, with no idea who I am. Just a blank memory, and a faceless name... Who am I? "Freddie! Freddie!... Can you hear me?" A desparte voice screamed down at me. Her voice seemed to over power the sirens in the background. But all I could to is stare back at the blonde girl in confusion. (Seddie)





	1. Chapter One

.

**(This story takes place before iGoodbye)**

** iDon't Remember **

**Chapter One**

"Did you know that once during an MMA fight Bronson bit Waldrom's finger off?" Sam marveled in the air as she read off her bright cell phone screen in amusement. Freddie closed his eyes for a brief moment of disgust and exhaled sharply to get the image out of his mind. "apparently when the medic's sewed it back on his whole hand turned purple!" She continued not noticing the look of pure revulsion on Freddie's face and took a bite out of a fat cake she was currently in the middle of eating.

"How can you possible eat after reading something like that?" Freddie asked in complete wonder stealing a glance her way in pure hilarity. But Sam just shrugged and turned her phone off, she didn't know if it was reading things of that matter, or simply reading in a moving car on a bright little screen that was making her stomach uneasy.

"Ugh," The blonde moaned in discomfort as she threw her head against the back supporter and exhaled. "how much longer Fredork? Mama's tired." She yawned.

"Like I said before, and like I will continue to say; just over that hill and you can see Seattle." Freddie replied in an annoyed and slightly irritated state for Sam had asked him that very question numbers times before. Sam sighed and closed her eyes for a moment trying to get comfortable in the passenger seat of the car. There was a mere instance of silence in the traveling vehicle, that was, before Sam's stomach began to demand food. "Do we have anything to eat in the back or something? I'm starving." The blond inquired turning around to search the empty backseat of the car.

"Umm…first of all, there's no eating in the car," Freddie began taking a sharp turn in which forced the girl back into the comfort of her seat.

"It's not like that's stopped me before." Sam shrugged carelessly.

"I can see that." He quickly shoots back as he notices the FatCake wrapper in a cup holder.

Sam reveals a wicked smile. "and second of all, we just had dinner, you're seriously hungry?" He continued. Sam sighed and leaned into the back of the seat, rubbing her hand over her abnormally thin stomach. She yawned once more. "What can I say… Mama gotta eat when Mama gotta eat Fredly." Freddie rolled his eyes and continued to stare ahead at the empty dark road in front of them.

"Whatever then." The blond exhaled then proceed to shut her eyes. It didn't take Freddie long to realize she was beginning to fall asleep, and for a second he was relieved there would be quiet in the car. But it was too quiet. And quickly after he found himself resting his eyes for a short second in weary. But he quickly snapped out of that drowsy state as soon as he fell in it then turned to Sam, who was resting her head against the cool glass of the passenger window.

"Sam, what are you doing?" He asked softly, already knowing the answer but not wanting to anger her. He's had plenty of experience waking her up before and it was not pretty.

"What does it look like I'm doing Dipwad?" The blond retorted not even bothering to open her eyes.

"Okay, well… could ya stay awake? I'm starting to get a little tired and—"

"No."

Freddie sighed in annoyance but continued to fight it. "Come on Sam, how am I supposed to keep myself awake?" Sam shrugged from her spot. "I don't know dork, maybe one of your many imaginary friends could help you with that?" She sneered, satisfied with her comeback. Freddie glared at her in frustration. "Do you want to get home tonight? Then stay awake and make sure I don't fall asleep." He angrily spat out. It wasn't like him to act this way but he was tired, sore, drowsy, annoyed, and irritated. And he did _not_ need to add anything else to that list.

"Okay—okay whatever, I'll stay awake, but at least put some music on to help, geez." Sam finally gave in complaining as she alined her posture to sit straight up and reached for the radio. Freddie sighed and he leaned more comfortably against the back of his seat. "Thank you, now was that so har—"

_"—Talks, it started with a whisper! And that was when I kissed her! And then she made my lips hurt! I can hear the chit-chat—take me to your love shack, mama's always got a backtrack! When everybody talks babe—"_

Sam blasted the radio and cut Freddie's sentence off. "Sam! Sam turn it down!" He turned his sight away from the wheel and shouted as hard as he could. From the corner of his eye he saw two pair of headlights at a distance, they were giant, but from what he could tell they were on the right lane so he had nothing to worry about.

"Sam!" He continued, still getting distracted from the wheel. "What? I can't hear you?" Sam toyed with him while she laughed and sang along to the loud music. Freddie glanced at the road for a split second and saw he was wrong, the head lights were in the middle of the two lanes. He froze and then yelled. "Sam, stop! Turn it off!" He couldn't concentrate with all the blown up music around him.

Fear overtook his emotions—he could literally feel his face getting hotter as that pressure pressed against the side of his being and tired to aimlessly calculate a solution in his mind. But Sam proceeded to ignore him and kept singing along, not realizing the grave danger they were currently in. The lights were getting closer, no time to stop and turn around. He stopped the car, and debated if they should get out. But there was no place to go; one side of the road were car-sized jagged rocks craved into a the mountain, and the other dropped about fifteen to twenty feet down to some type of steep embankment.

_Panic_ struck him.

Sam stopped the music when she realized what was going on. "Freddie—? Freddie move the car!" She shouted in a horror.

_HOONNKKK_

Freddie turned to Sam. Fear embedded in his eyes. They had seconds before the semi would collide into them.

Freddie took a final look at Sam hoping she could suggest something before he started the car again, this time he tired to spin the car so that the impact would hit the back of the car and hopefully not hurt them as much; it was good, logical thinking; time seemed to be the only opponent now.

But his plan backfired.

The car was turned on his side when the semi made impacted with them; right on the driver's side. He was too late.

_HOONNKKK_

"Freddie—!" Sam tried to scream but the force of the impact had wind out taken out of her lungs.

The car was hit. The impact of the three-ton semi aiming straight into the driver's side at sixty-five miles per house had the force of an atomic bomb. There was a tornado of noise as Freddie lost control of the car as it began to plow straight down the embarkment. A symphony of low moans and grinding gears exploded as the car was molded to take its final shape. A chorus of hissing, and the sound of glass shattering around the car as if it was rain. But it was over as soon as it began and the quietness soon took over with the exception of Neon Trees single still eerily playing from the radio that disturbingly, had not been effected what so ever.

Sam opened her eyes seeing only mere outlines of a car and another person. She could only hear the rhythmic clicking of the turn signal, which must have been turn on when the car slid down the embankment, and the single play softly through the buzzing static from the radio. She slowly lifted her head and realized that their car was lying on its side—it was slightly tipped on its side, supported by the thick tree trunk. She was hanging in the air, trapped in her seatbelt.

The fog was beginning to lift from her brain.

Had she been driving? No… Freddie had, but she couldn't see him? "Freddie." She called out. "Freddie, answer me!" Nothing. She turned her head towards where she last saw him and she could see Freddie's still form there, in the ruins of what had once been a driver's side. The whole side of that car was in crippling condition. The door had been molded into a piece of trash, the window had been smashed into tiny pieces, there was blood, and a lot of it; all over the place, including the outlines of the broken glass.

"Freddie." Her voice started shaking as she realized what had happened. She tried to lift her right arm, but it was met with a surge of pain. "Owww!" She cried out and then began panicking, as she was slowly losing consciousness.

Freddie first felt a surge of pain along his left side. He moved is right arm to cradle his ribs and immediately wished he hadn't as a sharp pain moved across both sides of his collarbone. "Ahh." He cried out. "Sam… Sam can you hear me?" He asked softly as he tried to lift his head enough to see his best friend, but found that he couldn't. "Sam." He gasped, as she tried to move. "I need to know if… you're okay." He said gasping for air. Sam began to stir once again, uncomfortably. "Freddie?" She opened her eyes and turned her head to him.

"Hey." Freddie gasped.

"Oh god." She swallowed trying to refrain herself from crying. "You okay?" Sam asked in an alarming tone. Freddie didn't try to move this time. "I think so, just hurts... to breathe." He explained exhaling sharply. He took an uncomfortable deep breath and frowned. "You?"

Sam nodded. "Something's up with my arm but... but I'm fine." She was getting distracted by the heavy amount of blood that was flowing out of a gash in his head, and the blood that had formed and stained his lips. "Freddie you're... bleeding." She mumbled.

"You should call for help." He suggested ignoring her statement; the more he knew the extent of his injuries, though he could tell it was bad, the more he was left panicked. Sam nodded, and slowly took her phone out and dialed 9-1-1 with her left hand, it was hard to focus on the bright little numbers at first, but after a while she managed.

"No signal." Sam swallowed basically forcing herself to stay calm.

Freddie closed his eyes tightly and tried to get the pounding pain in his head to go away. "Can you get... get out of the car?" He asked between breath's, as he turned to face forward, his eye sight fazing in and out of focus.

Sam shook her head slightly. "I-I don't know, I didn't try Freddie, but I won't just leave you down here, you're bleeding... a-a lot—you need medical attention—"

"And that's why," He struggled once more, forcing his tears in, he knew something was wrong, he knew he was going to loss consciousness, and he didn't need Sam here to witness it.

"I-I…" He swallowed uneasily. "I need you to g-go get help." Sam looked at him unsure of what to do. So he tried to persuade her even more. "You're going to... have to... get back up on the road." He began to explain, swallowing back both tears and the pile of blood filling inside inside mouth. "and get a signal. Sam, please." His voice broke as he spoke. "You have to get h-help." His eye began to droop and he was in a constant battle with himself to stay awake. He swallowed down blood once more, and continued. "I… I can't get out. M-my legs are pinned to something Sam... and it's getting—it's getting harder to breathe. Please." Freddie pleaded. His breathing became noticeably labored.

_I need her out of the car. I don't want her to see me like this, I have to be responsible._

Sam nodded. "Okay… just, just stay awake. Alright?" Freddie nodded to the best of his ability and mumbled. "Uhum." The blond then tried the door with her left hand and found that other than meeting the tree trunk in only a few feet, it opened pretty easily. "I might be able to get out of here but it's gonna take a while."

"Kay." Freddie muttered.

"Hey! Don't you dare close your eyes Freddork!" Sam yelled in utter panic as she noticed he was zoning in and out of consciousness.

But Freddie could barely hear her—he was trying, but it was hard. Blood continued to fill in his mouth to a point where swallowing it didn't help anymore—there was a pressure piling at his chest moving his aching ribs in the process and even him, with the extent of his medical knowledge could understand what was happening. He was bleeding internally and it had gotten to his lungs. Panic instantly set on his shoulders, the worst part was, there was nothing he could do. Soon he would not be able to breathe and he hoped it would end as quickly as it would come.

"S-sh-am." He let out barely coherently. He was going to die—he knew it—he could feel it. Tears fell down his face subconsciously in defeat.

"Yeah?" Sam asked turning her attention from the door and back to him. Once she saw him in that distraught state, her heart spiked uncomfortably as her stomach made a nasty uneasily turn.

But he didn't answer.

"Freddie?" She asked softly as she began to realize what was happening. She forced her tears back and gasped as a wall of panic formed inside her.

_ This cannot be happening. This cannot be happening._

His eyes were open and fully dilated to the point she could barely see the brown in them, staring unfocused into the space around him. Sam gently placed her hand on his shoulder in hopes of grabbing his attention, then after a moment slid her hand down and reached for his hand.

At this point the radio had stopped playing and the only thing Sam could hear despite her own whimpering voice cutting throughout the silence, was the sound of him struggling for air. And she could no longer hold her tears in.

"Freddie, answer me!" Sam nearly shouted.

The feeling of numbness outlined Freddie's body, slowly but surely inching it's way towards the center like a caving army. And as though wrapped in layers of adherent wrap, surrounding sounds became distorted. He could hear Sam shouting out his name, but she seemed so far away it was impossible so could be so close.

"Freddie!" Sam cried out, and although he couldn't feel it, she didn't dare to let go of his hand.

The pounding in his head along with other painful and disoriented sensations were beginning to weigh his body down, becoming heavier and heavier, weaker and weaker, to the point where he could no longer support his own head; making it fall in front of him. His vision turned from a slight blur, to a diplopan state where everything had a double, in less time than he could ever imagine. And before he realized, the world was slowly fading from his fingertips as drowsiness and unconsciousness drew it's thick, concealed blanket over him, drifting him off across a phlegmatic lake of emptiness.

…

**So I hope you like the new and improved version of this story! Please review and let me and let me know what you think! **

**-C**


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

Sam's eyes were shut, but she could still make out a blinding harsh glow on the back horizon of my eyelids. Every once in awhile a shadow would find it's way across her vision only instilling her with the determination, and will to open her eyes. She's completely aware that she's in a some sort of disillusioned state of mind she can't seem to get out of, or even remember how she got there in the first place.

She hear's a low mumble every once in a while—she know's someone's there, making conversation, but she can't make out the words; their meanings, their definitions. It's frustrating. She knows these words. She knows these voices. It's on the tip of her tongue, but it's never released.

She feels like screaming, she feels like kicking something—someone, mostly the person responsible for her current state. But there's nothing she do at meantime but lay there and hope she get's out soon.

She doesn't know how much time has passed, it could have been minutes, hours, she had no clue. But she began to feel the mere outlines of her body, she was regaining control once more, her mind, once foggy and disoriented began to clear, that's how she knew time had passed.

After a little while she could feel the back of her heavy body against something surprisingly more comfortably than she remembered. Some sort of soft padded mattress with crinkly bedsheets that almost tickled her fingertips. Sounds become clearer my the minute, she can hear a what she presumes to be Carly's voice in the background, but she's not entire sure just yet.

She can feel her body getting lighter, as if a giant heavy blanket that covered the entirety of her body was slowly lifted off her petite body minute by minute. She knew what was coming now, she jus had to gather enough strength to do so.

Sam slowly peeled her heavy eyelids open, as she became more and more aware of her surroundings. The strong smell of anti-bacterial cleaner filled her nose making her think she was in one of the Benson bathroom's for a moment, before she came to her sense and made the connection from her eyes to her brain.

_Hospital._ Sam instantly thought piecing everything together.

The room was bright, the florescent lighting was practically bouncing off the walls of the place making Sam quint with every move her eyes made. She felt as though she had been asleep forever but yet was still extremely tired.

"Sam?" A small piercing voice erupted through the deeming silence making the blond face in the direction of the source.

As she stared in to the red and glassy eyes of Carly she nearly let out a breath of relief.

"Oh thank god!" Carly exhaled rushing to Sam's side.

"C-Carly?" Forming words was strangely difficult for some reason. Sam watched as Carly whipped her own tears and sniffed in happiness. It was sweet, really, but the question that hung in the back of Sam's mind was beginning to surface.

And she swallowed. "Wh-what happened?"

…

Everything came back fairly easy for the blond—as in, easy to remember not easy to handle; that, was a different story, and although she would never admit it, Sam was overwhelmed with the emotions overpowering her.

This is what she knew; she and Freddie were in a car accident, how Carly had put it; the driver was under the influence, she had a broken arm and had been out cold all day from the concussion she suffered, her mom was no where to be found, so social services placed her in the temporary care of Spencer even though she was already eighteen.

And those thing's mattered only for about two small seconds, until she found something that overpowered them.

_Freddie_.

"W-where's Freddie?" She asked quickly after remembering, almost revealing the vulnerable side of herself in that small moment of uncertainty. The blond searched the room as if he was silently standing in the corner somewhere, or was about to walk in with that famous smirk of his any moment. Carly nearly held her breath at the mention of Freddie, and Sam quickly took note of his—her eyes widening in horror as breathing suddenly began harder for her.

"Carly, wh-where's Freddie?" She asked again trying to remain calm though her head was pounding through her ears.

Flashes of the crash highlighted in her mind as the memories come piling in. She remembered the blood on the side of his head and lips, she remembered thinking there was too much blood…everywhere… She remembered holding his hand, shouting at him to stay awake… screaming his name.

"Carl's, what's going on? You're scaring me." Sam swallowed as she fought back the tears that threatened to escape.

D_on't cry. Not here. Not now._

Carly nodded. "He-he's," The brunette nearly choked out after a moment. She swallowed uneasily and continued. "he's here."

Sam nodded in relief, she swore a weight had nearly been lifted off her shoulders. Freddie was alive, that's all that mattered.

"I… I uh… I need to se-see him." Sam decided as she attempted to sit completely up and throw her weak legs over the side of the bed. Carly shook her head in disagreement. "Sam, what are you—no, y-you can't, you're—"

"Carly, either you're gonna help me get up, or get out of my way, which one is it?"

Carly looked utterly defeated staring back at her best friend in despair. Sam didn't mean to come off so harsh, but she had to do something. She couldn't just lay there and take it all in—no. She refused to.

"I-I can't Sam." Carly's voice broken in mid sentence as she stood in front of her best friend.

"And why is that?" Sam snapped in slight frustration.

"He's in surgery." The brunette explained bitterly as she helped her best friend back into bed. "But I promise as soon as he gets out you'll be the first one to see him, okay?" Carly promised tucking Sam back in the hospital cover's.

"You promise?" Sam asked.

Carly swallowed cautiously caught Sam's eye in concern, before she nodded.

"Promise."

"Okay." Sam ended.

After that the room became silent—too silent, that is until Sam had the nerve to speak up. "H-have you seen him?" She nearly mumbled not daring to meet her best friend in the eye.

Carly swallowed getting caught quite off guard by her question. She was not expecting that, but she nodded, and revealed the truth—she had seen him. "Yeah, I uh… I did."

Sam nodded pursing her lips together as if gather enough courage and look her best friend in the eye. And she did. "H-how is he? Was he awake?"

"No. He wasn't… he," Carly began but was quickly sidetracked by the look Sam was giving her. She swears she never seen Sam gaze at her that way—so desperate—so broken. Her eyes seemed to hold a sliver lining of pure innocence that is just about to be ripped away. How would she explain all this to Sam? How could she just sit there and take it all. "he—" Carly swallowed continuing to hesitate, not knowing how to continue.

"Come on Carl's its me, me of all people can handle the truth, okay?" Sam explained pulling on a brave face as she pretended to be fine with all this.

Carly saw right through it, but what was she to do? Deny her the truth?—no. That'd be cruel, then again, telling her would be too.

"He's not doing so good." The brunette finally revealed.

Sam, by some force of will managed, remained a shell on the outside as the news spread across her system, slowly, but surely turning her exterior soft. She swallowed hard and stared back at Carly.

"I-I saw him, this morning." The brunette continued as she shook her head in some sort of persistent denial. "Spencer almost didn't let me, but Ms. Benson convinced him to." Carly paused to take a shaky breath as she repositioned herself on the side of Sam's bed.

_The brunette walked into the room alone, trying desperately to hold her tears in. The only source of sound came from a strange machine that seemed to be connected to a tube running down his throat._

_The moment Carly saw him from the door way, her knee's nearly buckled; not being able to support her weight for a mere second. She forced herself to stare at the ground as she cautiously approached his bedside—not sitting down because she knew she couldn't stay long._

_They no longer had that kind of time._

_Though it was quiet the silence was almost getting too loud, and slowly but surely it was getting to her._

_Hesitance met her with every action. She wanted to reach out and comfort him somehow, but she felt as if he'd break at her touch, so for the first few minutes she kept her hands painfully to herself._

_She fought the urge to cry, though she desperately wanted to. She swore she's never seen anyone so fragile looking—so dependent before. And for a moment she couldn't believe it was Freddie she was looking at. _

_This could not be the boy she knew—the boy she grew up with; the boy who barged in her apartment with his spanish greetings. Freddie, Freddie Benson. No. It was impossible, Freddie did not look like this; broken and bruised, damaged and lifeless. _

_This has to be some kind of mistake._

_Carly swallowed as she towered over the him in disbelieve. Her arm lingered on the side of the bed before she made an attempt to touch him. She stroked the back of his hand soothingly up and down for awhile as she wrapped the other around herself._

_This couldn't possibly be him._

_A tears managed to escape her eyes and she whipped them away, turning her head the other way just to give her something to do other than stand there and acknowledge his current status. She takes a deep labored breathe as she turns back to her best friend, she could feel her heart race—her blood thicken at the sight of him._

_"Um," She clears her horse throat and continues. "Hey." She exhales slowly and softly._

_He remains the same. Unconscious and oblivious to the world around him. It scares her; he usually answers._

_"__I-I uh…" She forces out but its harder to speak than she remembers, especially after spending the day sobbing her heart out._

_"__I…" She grabs ahold of the hospital bed railing to stable herself, forcing her head up at the ceiling in hopes to not let the tears fall down her face once again. It takes her a moment, but she succeeds. "Oh god." She exhales._

_Carly looks back down at his fragile form again, but this time words spring from her throat allowing her to speak without getting caught in them, and she's utterly grateful for that._

_"__I know you can't hear me, o-or maybe you can but either way, it doesn't matter," She pauses. "because you already know what I'm gonna tell you." She swallows uneasily before proceeding._

_Swish. The respirator makes._

_"__I love you, okay?" Her voice breaks. "W-we all do—and I can go on and on about what a good friend you've been and all that, but I don't need to, you already know." She pauses, then takes a deep breath as she reached for a part of his arm that was bare and not entangled in the medical equipment around him. He's warm—a little too warm, but it's better than what she expected. She expected him to be cold, a dead kind of cold. For a part of her knew he repealed a corpse. _

_"__Oh god." She exhaled deeply, the realization finally getting to her._

_She holds onto his arm for what feels like dear life. A minute passes and she doesn't want to let go… if she concentrates she can feel a small thump echoing through her hand, it's weak and slow and it breaks her heart just think about it, but she knows the fact that its still there is nearly a miracle._

_ "__S-sam," She swallows. "Sam hasn't woken up yet… a-and a part of me is glad. Glad 'cause she doesn't know," Her voice breaks at the mention of his state. "she doesn't know about all this. But the other part of me wants her awake, ya know? And it's for selfish reasons really, but I don't care… that's kinda how I feel about all this…" Carly takes a shaky breath and lightly tightens the grip on his arm. _

_"__I-I don't want you like this Freddie, but then I-I remind myself how terrifying and horrible it would be for you to be awake and I feel nothing but guilt for even thinking it." _

_She real eases her grip on his arm and reaches out for his forehead. Her finger caresses his hairline and she gently parts slow his hair in a leisurely, swift matter. "I just want you to open your eyes a-and," She phases from being mentally and emotionally exhausted in the one sided conversation. "to tell me everything's gonna be okay." She exhales softly and purses her lips._

_"__C-cause by the looks of it right now… everything's a freaking mess." Her soft cries turn into an uncontrollable mumbled sob which shakes her whole body out of denial._

_"__A-and I-I just don't know… I don't know what to do, what to say—what am I supposed to tell Sam? Wha-what am I supposed to tell myself? Th-this is a moment where those self speeches just don't work, a-and I need someone to do the talking for me." Carly's shoulders drop and she shut's her eyes for a moment of clarity. "I need you to do the talking for me."_

_"__God I sound crazy. Just ignore what I said okay?" She plays with a fake confident smile on her face. "I-I don't know what's wrong with me right now…" She trails off for a few seconds until a knock on the glass door catches her attention and Spencer's head pops in._

_He doesn't have to say anything for her to get the message, she gives him a strong nod of understanding then turns her head back to Freddie. Her gaze drops as she realizes that there isn't much time left._

_And she's scared—terrified really. That this may be the last time she see's him alive._

_"__Oh god, how am I supposed to do this? I-I don't even know." She mumbles at first before calming herself yet once again. _

_"__There's a part of my mind that keeps tricking me into thinking you're okay—th-that this is all okay…" She swallows and reaches back for his arm, now rubbing soothing circles into it with her thumb._

_"__b-but you're not okay—because if you were... they'd keep you awake, they'd…" She bites her lips as she feel another set of tears coming on. _

_"__I'm scared Freddie." She gulps. Her face is puffy and stained with salty tears._

_"I'm scared that we're gonna lose you—and th-that you're never going to live the rest of your life." She continued. "Tha-that you're no longer going to barge in my apartment greeting us in your random Spanish…" She cried, not noticing how odd she sounded._

_"__So," She sniffed."you have to wake up soon and you have to get better. You can't leave us hanging like this okay?" She gulps again and whips her teary face._

_"__Oh god." She swallows._

_Carly stares at his motionless face and her heart sinks. "I love you." She whispers as she kisses his forehead. "I love you best friend… d-don't die okay?" She paused as a shiver ran how her spine. "Oh god." She mumbles not wanting to let go of his arm—not wanting to let go at all. "J-just don't die Freddie." She didn't know what else to say—what else to do._

_All she knows is that she doesn't want to let go._

"He had a lot of internal bleeding—up to the point it reached his lungs and cut off his respiratory system, on top of that… his whole brain is swollen from the impact a-and," Carly struggle out. "there's a big chance that includes brain damage."

Sam gulped, feeling honestly overwhelm and upsettingly queasy by the amount of information, fear molded into her face.

Carly never thought she'd see that day Sam Puckett looked utterly lost, but here they were.

"I have to go-" Sam announced after a moment. She sat up and swung her feet over the side of the hospital bed once again. "Sam you can't, your doctor has to-"

"I'm fine Carly, just fine. I don't need a doctor telling me that." Sam stubbornly growled as she attempted to rip the IV drip from her arm.

Carly stood up and ran to her best friends side. "Look I know you feel okay and all but please… I can't risk you too…" Carly urgently explained, her eyes slowly building tears. She looked at Sam and felt her hot tears run down her face.

Sam instantly felt guilty. She got up, with a little trouble, and walked over to Carly who took a seat right in front of her and made the brunette stand up to give her a hug.

"I'm sorry," Sam mumbled. "I-just-I feel like it's my fault…"

Carly let go of Sam and looked her straight in the eye.

"Don't you ever say that again."

...

"His condition is stable Ms. Benson, his vitals are a little weak which concerns me a little, we'll monitor him for the next few days and hopefully things will take a turn around." The young doctor informed her.

Ms. Benson nodded and then thanked Freddie's doctor with a polite handshake before she took a breath and she walked back in her son's hospital room.

Surprisingly he was not alone this time, for Spencer was hovering right by his bedside.

"Hello Spencer," Freddie's mom greeted softly. "I didn't expect you be here." She continued.

Spencer turned and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Well uh, Carly is with Sam... so I thought, you know-" "That you could come here." She finished his sentence for him.

"Pretty much," Spencer exhaled. The silence set in for a couple seconds before Spencer had the courage to ask about Freddie.

"H-how'd the surgery go?" He asked watching Marisa intently as she walked to the other side of her son's bed and sat down.

The woman cleared her throat before she spoke up. "It went well—they uh, they managed to stop the bleeding in his chest which was the main reason they pulled him in for another surgery.

Spencer looked back at the young boy, his hands still hesitantly in his jean pockets. "Th-that's good, right?"

Marisa nodded then swallowed. "Yes, it is."

"I-is he gonna wake up soon?" The conversation between the two was strained and awkward due to the overbearing silence the room had taken over. Even with their major differences, they always had room for easy, swift conversation, that is, until now of course.

This time Marisa shook her head. "No… uh," Freddie's mother swallowed once more not really knowing how to put the words together to explain.

"Dr. Baits thought that given his neurological damage, he best be kept in an induced coma," She began, but after taking one look at the confusion presented on the older males face—she thought it best to make it clearer. "What that does is give the brain time to heal without the body preforming by shutting off flow to damaged sections of his brain."

Spencer nodded only now fully understanding. "Oh, I see… h-how long do you think before—?"

"Could be anywhere to a few days to weeks honestly." Ms. Benson revealed. "We'll just have to wait and see."

...

"Sam—Sam, wake up." Carly shook her best friend until her eyes fluttered. It was late afternoon. Sam stirred and groaned in her place. "Five more minutes." She grumbled; her eyes still closed.

Carly shrugged. "Okay I guess your doctor will just have to discard you tomorrow morning then." Carly teased as she deviously smiled quick and ready for Sam to respond. And she did.

Th blond instantly opened her eyes, raised her arms up high in surrender and repeated. "Okay, okay, I'm up."

"The nurse is gonna come and unplug that IV out of your hand, but until then you can change your—" Carly stared at Sam as she took the IV needle out of her arm. "No more nurses Carl's. I'm a free women." She took the clothes from Carly's arms and walked over to her bathroom. "Be right back." She yawned.

Carly just rolled her eyes and waited for her best friend to come back out.

_Typical Sam._

"So what's the word on Freddie?" Sam asked as soon as she walked out of the bathroom now fully dressed in her own comfortable clothes. She made a mental note to thank Carly for picking warm comfy tights and an a large sweater for she couldn't be anymore cozy.

"Um, well he got out of surgery a while ago," Carly began to explain as Sam shot her a _really? _look which indicated to the brunette she was no happy about something. "you fell asleep! I wasn't going to wake you Sam, the doctors told you to rest!"

"Fine, go on."

"It went well, so that's a good thing, but uh… other than that, pretty much how it had been last time I spoke with you." Carly continued as they began to walk out the door and down the hall.

Sam nodded, before optimistically speaking up. "Has he woken up?"

It took Carly a minute to register the and find a way to explain eloquently, but she managed it with a brave smile and spoke. "No, he hasn't," The brunette swallowed, wanting to continue.

"That's kinda the thing Sam…" She made the stop in the middle of the tracks and faced Sam with all the patience in the world. This was not going to be easy.

"He's not going to wake up—at least, not soon."

This only sprung confusion on the young Puckett's face as she stared into the eyes of her best friend utterly lost. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, the doctors put him in some sort of medicated coma—"

"He's in a _coma_—?!" Sam nearly exploded, the heart in her chest racing a million times a minutes out of pure concern and frustration.

"No, no, no, Sam. T-that's not what I meant—"

"Well, you can't just go around telling people he's in a coma if he isn't—" Sam nearly fought back, she was pissed. Pissed for making her worry.

"Will you just listen to me?" Carly almost shouted, wanting to get her point across. Sam nodded, finally calming herself down enough to hear what she had to say.

"It' not _that _type of coma Sam, the one he's in is reversible, don't worry."

"I-I don't understand, why is all that necessary?" Sam asked as they began to walk towards the elevator once again.

"Well if you'd let me explain the first time," Carly started but after receiving a look from Sam and stopped and continued on. "his brain is swollen from the impact, the doctors and Ms. Benson agreed that shutting his brain "off" would help it heal faster with less risks and such—you should really let one of them explain it to you, I'd make more sense, I think."

Sam just nodded not really knowing how to absorb all this at once—but she couldn't blame Carly—it wasn't her fault for telling her, she needed to know.

...

"He's right in there." Carly pointed out as they stood in front of two large sliding doors that revealed a boy who lay under an overwhelming amount of medical equipment in the ICU section of the hospital.

"T-That's him?" Sam mumbled clearly heartbroken, though she refused to let that present itself on her exterior. Carly nodded then grabbed her hand for support. "Come on," She tugged her along. "let's go say hi."

He was still—almost too still for Sam. And it freaked her out. She's never seen Freddie like this before—so vulnerable—so dependent. It was unreal, nerve-racking almost.

Freddie lay on the hospital bed right in front the doors to the small gloomy ICU room he was being kept in, which wasn't helping Sam's case for the tired to keep her eyes trained on any other thing than him.

Carly noticed it quickly—her hesitance towards him, however she didn't see the tears threatening to escape Sam's eyes the longer she remained there. But by some power of will she managed to restrain her emotions and with an encouraging glance from Carly, the blond set her eyes on the boy in the bed.

She didn't know how it was possible but her heart sank to the deep pits of her stomach; she hadn't realized how close she was.

From what she could see, he lay bare chested against the mattress, eyes closed and rested, lips parted, mouth opened enough for a thick tube to snake it's way down his throat, one the left side of his bed next to wall stood various intimidating machines connected to an endless ocean of wires and tubing draped across his body—machines that checked, machines that regulated; machines that kept him alive.

"I'm gonna give you some space, okay? I'll go find Spencer and Ms. Benson." Carly announced softly, feeling a little like she was intruding on their personal moment. Sam turned to her, giving her a firm nod that it was alright. "You okay?" The brunette asked once more before leaving.

Sam nodded again, not daring to speak one word, and as Carly exited the room, she hesitantly turned back to Freddie, never having felt so alone.

"Hi." She began, her voice unsteady as she stood uncomfortably by his bedside. For some strange reason, she half expected him to reply; to open his eyes and reveal that famous smirk of his that always made her feel better.

But he didn't. He remained completely unfazed by her voice.

Sam swallowed nervously and paused, not knowing what to word what she felt. What do people say? Do they even say anything at all? She remembered reading somewhere that some coma patients might be able to hear you, but was this the case now?

The blond swallowed once more, trying to not let her emotions get the best of her in that moment, and pushed on.

"Ya know, you look pretty intimidating Fredster," She let out subconsciously eyeing all the medical equipment around him. "I just hope you get better okay?"

She passed once again letting her hand flawlessly linger around his before she gathered enough courage to grab it. "I-I saw Spencer, and your mom earlier… a-and between us? Everyone's putting on a really brave face… but inside I think they're just really scared," The blond admitted and exhaled a shaky breathe she didn't realize she was holding. Her eyes lingered to their hands as she gently outlined his palm with the tip of her index finger.

"God Freddie… what the hell happened?"


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three/The Lost**

Three days passed since Sam was discarded from the hospital. Sam and Carly visited Freddie daily, but it wasn't the same. Sam would barley say one word once they entered that room, unlike Carly who would talk to him, knowing that he wouldn't respond.

Dr. Baits had informed them that the drug was working and the swelling in his brain was reducing rapidly. That was good news for everyone- mostly Ms. Benson who went hysterical when she found out her son was in the ER.

Spencer and Carly both noticed a change in Sam, she was quiet, she didn't eat, and she didn't do much at all, and they were worried. Spencer didn't understand her behavior, but Carly did. She knew Sam was feeling guilty-which frustrated Carly even more. She had told her that it wasn't her fault… but then again… who knew what happened in that car before they crashed? _Maybe they had a fight? _Carly thought, glancing at Sam before turning her head back to Freddie.

She hated seeing him like that; he looked so broken, and fragile…

Carly sighed and stood up, letting Spencer take her place, she walked over to Sam and told her she wanted to talk to her in the hallway. Without a word Sam followed her out in curiously.

"What's up Carl's?" She asked as if nothing was wrong.

Carly rolled her eyes in annoyance. "You tell me _what's up_ Sam… ever since you got out of the hospital you've been acting strange, I understand that this might be because of Freddie but you have to kno-"

"It's not Freddie." Sam snapped, trying to hide her emotions. "Then what is it? Sam…" Carly sighed. "I'm your best friend; you don't have to hide what you're feeling inside okay? You don't have to be embarrassed."

Sam nodded and gulped. "I know…"

"So what's up?" Carly asked her once more.

Sam hesitated before she spoke. "I-I it-it's just- I…" She took a deep breath of air. "I can't help feeling I should be the one in that bed." She admitted mumbling.

Carly's heart sank even further. "Aww -Sam no, come on, you know it's not your fault…"

Sam shook her head. "You don't know what happened in that car Carl's…"

Carly sat down on the bench she sat on earlier, Sam following behind her. "So what did happen in that car Sam?" She asked unsurely.

Sam took a moment deciding if she should tell her. _She's my best friend…if I can't trust Carly, then who can I trust? _Sam thought, sighing.

"So we were on the road… and I wanted to go to sleep, but Freddie didn't let me because he was paranoid that he would fall asleep too. Then I complained about there being no music, and I blasted the radio on as a joke. He started yelling at me to turn it off and I ignore him…" Sam took a shaky breath.

"After a couple of seconds I look ahead and pair of Semi lights are in front of us, and then the dork has the nerve to turn the car on _his_ side…"

Carly eyes were watering as she watched Sam explain.

"Next thing I know I wake up in a ditch hanging in the air by my seatbelt. Then I see Freddie that the bottom of the car… and there's blood… all over him." Sam's voice breaks.

Carly gulped. "I tried to move around to help him, but my arm hurt then I started to fall asleep… but Freddie woke me up a couple seconds later telling me that I needed to get out of the car and call for help… I-I didn't want to leave him alone here but I knew that I had to call for help. So I agreed then before I even turned to look at him, h-he passed out."

Sam gulps and takes another shaky breath. "I'm sorry," She cries without tears. "I just feel like I could've done something to help him."

Carly hugged her deeply and spoke soothingly. "Shh… come' ere, you did everything right Sam, there was nothing you could've helped him with…" Carly let go of her and whipped her own tears. She couldn't believe what they had gone though.

She looked at Sam who now looked so distraught and unsure of herself.

"Sam I need to stop blaming yourself for this, there's no way that this is your fault." Carly sternly told her. The blonde just nodded.

Sam decided to leave the part out about her dragging Freddie out of the car when I started the burning; she didn't think Carly could handle it.

"Now let's go back in there…" Carly stood up. "Promise me you'll talk to him?" Sam nodded.

"Sure."

…

It was now eight o'clock at night, Ms. Benson was in with them now, after a long discussion with Br. Baits about further options the for almost the whole day.

Spencer had gone to the cafeteria with Carly complaining that they were starving. Carly asked Sam to join them, but she replied saying she wasn't hungry, which upset the brunette, but she understood it would take a little while to get the ol'Sam back.

Ms. Benson sat at his bed side stroking his forehead a mumbling soothing things to him.

Sam watched them, her stomach uncomfortably turned. _Freddie is so lucky to have someone who cares for him that much…_ She thought.

Suddenly she felt the urge to apologize to Ms. Benson.

"Ms. Benson?" She faintly whispered from the other side of the room. Freddie's mom turned her head around and looked at Sam.

"I'm-I'm sorry." She apologized then gulped.

Ms. Benson only nodded then turned back to Freddie. Sam could tell she was a bit angered with her, but she didn't care.

"I'm not mad at you Samantha." She spoke softly. "On the other hand I want to single handedly murder that drunken man that almost killed my Freddie." She spoke calmly yet in a slightly creepy tone.

Sam scoffed a smile before it disappeared.

"... As much as I... hate your _type_ of people… right now it's all about Freddie, not us." She said, trying to clear her throat. Sam could tell Ms. Benson was trying hard not to scream in anger, not at her, just in general, as she hesitated and strained her body, clenching her fists slightly.

Sam nodded and stared at her in surprise. She didn't expect this at all.

Sam stared blankly at her much like her old self. "And… as much as I don't like… well," She's raise an eye brow. "Just you in general… I think the same thing." She gives in, nodding.

Ms. Benson slightly smiles then turns back to smile. Sam finds the courage to stand up and walk over to the other side of the bed.

"Hear that Fredster? Your mom and I aren't killing each other." Sam smiled.

…

That night Sam agreed to stay at the hospital with Carly, while Spencer and Ms. Benson went home to sleep.

"Thank god Ms. Benson went home to rest, she hasn't had any sleep since she arrived here… I was starting to think she was a vampire." Carly joked.

Sam smiled. Somehow after her talk with Ms. Benson she was slowly coming back to her old self.

"Yeah…" The blonde commented.

"Did ya take the medication for your arm?" Carly asked playing with a bit of her hair.

Sam shrugged. "I don't have it." She said without a care. "Sam!" Carly groaned annoyed. Sam grinned. "What? Did ya _really_ think I'd take it by myself?"

Carly thought for a second then sighed. "You gotta point there..." The brunette dug through her bag and found Sam's pills. "Now take them missy pants!" Sam caught them and stared at Carly. "Missy pants? Really Carl's?" Carly rolled her eyes and turned her attention to Freddie.

She sadly traced the outline of his fingers.

"Hear that Freddie? Carly called me _missy pants_." Sam joked. "Oh shut up Sam!" Carly laughed a bit.

Soon their jokes and laughter died down as they took a look at their best friend on the hospital bed.

"So has Dr. Baits said anything about him waking up soon?" Sam asked setting the bottle of water she bought back on the ground. Carly nodded. "They are slowly taking him off it, they started to two days ago, but everything is still the same." She informed.

Sam nodded. _Man… where was I when they told them that? _Sam asked herself in disappointment.

"You were cafeteria with Spencer when she told us." Carly explained. "Ahh…" Sam nodded. It was as if she read her mind.

"Hey, I'm gonna go to the bathroom and hopefully find a vending machine on the way- want anything?" Carly asked standing up.

Sam shrugged then smirked. "Find me a fat cake Carl's."

Carly smiled and walked out. "Will do."

As soon as the sliding doors closed silence over took the room. Well, almost silence; all that could be heard were the machines _wiring_ and _beeping_ and_ swishing_.

Sam made her way to the chair next to his bedside and sat down. She stayed silent as she placed Freddie's hand in her palm and with her other hand she stroked his knuckles gently.

"Hey Freddie," She whispered. Sam then realized it was the first time she was alone with him.

The blonde observed him cautiously once more and sighed. "So your doctor is saying you should be waking up soon… I hope that true…" She exhaled.

Her heart felt ten times heavier just looking at him like that. The truth was, ever since they broke up in that elevator last late September she had still felt the same about him… it had been almost a year now.

Today was July 14, 2012… almost a year and she still felt the same about him. Only, she didn't know if he did too.

She took a shaky breath and gulped. "I'm sorry for all this." Sam then leaned in and kissed his cheek. Her hair fell in front of her face and she put it behind her ear in frustration.

She then let go of his hand and brought it up to her heart. "Feel my heart Freddie?"

No _response._

"If you want my heart grab it." She said. This was a very un-Sam thing to do, but she felt she needed to try it.

Nothing happened.

Sam didn't realize Carly had been staring at her with a smirk plastered on her face through the glass doors. A fat cake was in her hand.

"Sam?" Carly asked as we walked back in.

Sam's eyes widened and she dropped his hand back to the bed immediately.

"Oh my god! Yo-you still like Freddie!" She burst in joy.

Sam ran back to her seat at the foot of his bed. "No I don't!-you didn't seen anything Shay!" She cried.

Carly tossed her the fat Cake. "Aww Sam if you like him you could tell me." She chuckled helplessly. Sam glumly looked away as soon as a memory infected her brain.

_"Hey… do you got a new little crush on her?" Sam asked Freddie, for the last couple of days he'd been helping her and following Carly around, she had to ask. _

_He tried to deny it. "Pfft… no…pfft." And then he smiled and nodded at her._

_She just looked at him with no emotion and said "Go." _

Sam sighed. _It was too late to start things back up with him…he went back to liking Carly._

"Yeah… I might." Sam hinted playfully. But then her face froze and her smile faded. "But it's too late Carl's… he likes you again." She mumbled out.

Carly looked stunned. Her face was blank. "No he doesn't…" She denied it. Sam shook her head. "He does, he told me himself Carl's trust me." Sam tried to smile to hide her real emotions.

But Carly could see right through her. "Sam, I saw the way he's looked at you for the past last year, this boy loves you! Even if he said he liked me." Carly argued.

Sam shrugged and stayed silent.

They were so wrapped up in their conversation that they didn't even notice Freddie anymore. They didn't hear the flustered moan coming from his lips.

"Ughh…"

Carly and Sam both froze and simultaneously they both turned and faced the boy.

Freddie stared back at them in confusion. His eyes only half open.

"Wher-where am I?" He asked wearily.

Both girls ran to his side and Carly pressed the call button. "Freddie, you're awake!" They exclaimed.

Freddie frowned and took a moment before he responded. The bright white lights shining above him were blinding.

He gulped. "A-am I-I Freddie?" He asked even more confused. Air left Sam's lungs; Carly stared back at Freddie in shock then spoke.

"Yeah your Freddie, who would you be?" She asked in worry. Suddenly Dr. Baits entered the room.

"Freddie, you're awake!" She happily spoke. She walked on the other side of the bed, opposite of the girls and asked him a few questions as she shinned a small light in his eyes.

"Do you know what year it is?" The doctor asked. Freddie shook his head after a frustrating pointless thought.

"What's your full name?" Freddie took another moment. "Freddie…?" He asked.

Dr. Baits frowned. "Oh no." She mumbled.

"_Oh no_! No- that's not good, what's _oh no?"_ Carly panicked.

"Freddie do you know what school you go to or-or where you live?" Dr. Baits asked one more time.

Freddie glumly shook his head. _No_

Dr. Baits wrote something down on her clipboard then paged a nurse. "I'm Dr. Baits, your name is Freddie Benson, you were involved in a car crash with this young lady here," She refereed to Sam. Freddie slowly turned his head to Sam. She gave him a weary smile.

"We're gonna need to run another CAT scan on your brain mister." The doctor informed.

Freddie nodded unsurely. "Freddie, do you know who we are?" Carly aimlessly asked whipping away her tears.

Freddie stared into Carly's eyes and shook his head. "You guys ar-are… nurses?" He asked.

Carly shook her head she was completely distraught. Sam's heart sank during all of this. She stayed silent she was still in shock.

Dr. Baits told Freddie they will all be right back as she escorted the girls out of the room and into the hallway.

"What's going with Freddie why can't he remember us?"Carly cried. Dr. Baits sighed.

"It seems that your friend is suffering from some sort of memory loss." Her voice echoed in Sam's head repeatedly.

"_It seems that your friend is suffering from some sort of memory loss."_

"_It seems that your friend is suffering from some sort of memory loss."_

…

**Hope you like the new and improved version of this story! And please review! The more reviews I get… the faster I update! It motivates me to write!**

**-C**


	4. Chapter Four

**Hey there guys! I'm back! Sorry for making you wait for so long for an update, but I revised this story to make it better! So WARNINGS to people who have already read this story and are continuing on with chapter four: start reading from the beginning (Chapter One/The Crash) If you have read this story before! That's all, I hope you enjoy!**

**-C**

…

**Chapter Four/The Plan**

Sam, Carly and Spencer waited anxiously outside Freddie's room on the bench, while Dr. Baits was having a tough, heartbreaking conversation with Ms. Benson and Freddie.

"I can't believe this." Carly mumbled, in utter shock. Spencer nodded, agreeing with her. Sam sighed in distress and leaned against Carly. She felt sick, the blonde didn't feel well at all. Suddenly a strangled cry was heard from the room, all of them cringed at the horrible sound. Carly let out a choked sob.

_Ms. Benson. _The blonde thought instantly. She was guessing Dr. Baits was breaking the news to her. Sam wanted to cry, but she knew she couldn't. She had to be strong for Spencer and most defiantly Carly.

Another distraught cry came out. Spencer threw his arm around Carly who was sobbing, and tried to keep the tears from escaping his eyes.

Sam gave Spencer a sympathetic look then grabbed Carl's hand, a gesture of comfort. "Don't cry Carl's, it's all gonna be okay." She said, confidence sparking in her tone. Carly looked up at her whipping her tears and shook her head. "You don't know that Sam…" She cried.

Sam looked at the dispirited brunette in desperation; suddenly she dropped her gaze from Carly and clutched her stomach. She was going to be sick. Truth was she wasn't feeling 'hot' for the past hour.

Carly stopped sobbing at looked at Sam in horror. "Sam?" She asked worried. "Sam are you okay?" Spencer continued.

Sam shook her head. "I-I think I'm gonna b-be sick…" She mumbled out. Carly stood up dragged Sam with her. "Let's go to the bathroom." Sam nodded still clutching her stomach.

Both girls paced to the nearest bathroom, they found one around the corner and just in time too. As soon as Sam saw the only toilet she blew chunks.

Carly stood behind her holding her long blonde curls back. "Aww Sam." She whimpered sympathetically. Sam shuttered trembling; she stopped to catch her breath.

"You okay now?" Carly asked. She was now hiccupping from crying too much earlier. "Sam nodded. "Sorry." She whispered, now hanging over the sink. She stared at herself in the mirror as she washed her face and gurgled water to rinse her mouth clean.

Sam leaned forward on the sink for a couple seconds and continued catching her breath. She _hated _throwing up- but on the other hand, who didn't?

Carly leaned against the wall, her arms around her for comfort. She stared at Sam in worry. "Better?" Sam nodded, and turned around to face her best friend.

"Better." She mimicked.

"Are _you_ okay Carl's? I know this is kinda a lot to take in and all." Sam asked. Carly stayed quiet and her eyes meet the floor. She shrugged. "I don't know Sam… not really."

Sam nodded then deeply exhaled. "Same here." She mumbled out, trying not to be heard by her best friend. "Let's go back out and see what else Dr. Baits says." The blonde suggested, Carly nodded her head and followed Sam out the bathroom door.

Things in there between Sam and Carly were so awkward, it was something they've never experience each other. It just showed how much they were keeping inside and not bringing out in the open.

They didn't tell each other how they really felt about all this. And it wasn't a normal thing between both girls; they usually told each other everything.

…

When they walked back to the hallway, and found Dr. Baits talking to Spencer, while Ms. Benson was crying in his arms. The girls ran to them instantly.

"So you can cure him right?" Sam asked without any hesitation. The doctor turned to her and shook her head sadly. "I'm very sorry, there is no actual cure for amnesia, but you can help revive his memory by telling him stories of the past… it just might trigger the lost memories." Dr. Baits suggested.

Sam stared at the doctor, no emotion in her face, but Carly knew that she pissed.

"So what's the plan?" Spencer asked concerned.

"You're not gonna let him stay like this are you?" Carly cried in disbelieve. "Well, we have a therapist here in the hospital building that specializes in amnesia, how to deal with it, exercises on how to possibly regain memories, and all that good stuff, I suggest one hour every day till he's well enough to go home."

Ms. Benson wiggled herself out of Spencer's comforting arms and spoke up. Her voice was unsteady and very fragile. "That's it? Dr. Baits I 'am a full time nurse here! I've seen other treatment possibilities!" She cried, still very upset.

Dr. Baits put a hand on her shoulder and sighed. "It's too risky Marissa, given your son's potentially fatal injuries I'm afraid those treatments are not a possible option."

Ms. Benson understood, but she was still completely distraught, and if I might add, slightly angered. "I understand." She mumbled, and then stayed unusually quiet for the time being.

"So how do we handle this? I mean do we just go in there and pretend we don't know who he is until he regains his memories?" Sam angrily snapped.

"No," Dr. Baits said calmly. "Just go in there and introduce yourselves to him, for today I suggest just stick with names and who you all are, try _not_ to overwhelm him. If he asks a question about his past, feel free to answer him; he wants to know this therefore we won't get overwhelmed by all the different things that are being thrown at him." Dr. Baits informed professionally.

Everyone nodded. "I did run a Cat scan on him a little while ago to see the full extent of the damage in his brain, when the results come back, which unfortunately won't be for a couple days, then based on the results we and further go into other treatment plans. But like I have said before, there isn't much we can do when it comes to amnesia cases." Dr. Baits ended.

Spencer smiled and shook her hand politely. Sam, Carly and Ms. Benson did the same after him. "Thank you so much Dr. Baits." Spencer said.

The doctor smiled back at Spencer. Spencer caught a sparkle in her eye then smirked at her; she turned around and started to walk in the other direction, further down the hall before she turned her head around and smiled back at Spencer.

Spencer smiled back dreamily, until an annoyed Carly elbowed him in the ribs. "Really Spencer? Freddie's doctor!" She chuckled in amusement.

"What? I can be mature and stuff like her…" He trailer off, now following Carly into Freddie's room. Carly rolled her eyes. "I'll believe that when you get a real job." She commented.

Spencer frowned and pouted. "I'll believe that when you get a real job! Bleech!" He mocked her, sticking his tongue out like a five year old.

Carly looked up at him and smirked; she had just proven her point.

…

The group crowded around Freddie. Spencer sighed in exhaustion, Carly leaned against her older brother for support, and Sam stood on the other side of his bed, avoiding his eyes next to Ms. Benson who looked like she was about to break into a million tiny little pieces.

"Hi Freddie," Ms. Benson spoke in a motherly way. "I'm your mother, Marissa." She introduced herself.

Freddie looked up at his mother in curiosity; he looked at the similarities between them two. "Hey mom." He rasped out softly. His throat was killing him from the respirator that was previously just taken out. _This makes sense… she looks a bit like me, and that explains why I feel somehow safe in her presence… _Freddie thought, his eyes then lingered to the very tall brunette male.

Spencer went next feeling Freddie's eyes on him. "Hey Bud, I'm Spencer, I live across the hall from your apartment with Carly here." He referred to the brunette in leaning on him. Carly smiled at him. "Hey." Freddie responded casually.

"Like Spencer said, I'm Carly Shay, your one of my best friends, alongside Sam." She added. "Hi." Freddie said giving her a slight smile.

_Man… she's pretty… _

His head then turned to Sam who was standing next to his mother, near the foot of his bed.

_Whoa… how didn't I notice her before…? _  
>"Sam Puckett, best friend, co-worker, ex-girlfriend…" Sam trailed off, introducing herself.<p>

Freddie slightly smiled at her too, for some reason he was drawn to her, her blonde curls, her sparkling blue eyes… he just wanted her to continue on forever.

_-Wait… did she just say ex-girlfriend? Man…I wonder what happened between us. _Freddie thought.

He quickly shrugged it off for the time being and stared at the crowed before him. They were all goofy looking standing next to each other but he couldn't help but feel a sense of déjà vu.

"Well… I'm Freddie, but I guess you all know that…" He mumbled.

…

**Chapter Four is now UP! Yay! Sorry for making u wait for so long! :) Review and let me know what you think? And remember that the more reviews I get the faster I update! It's true! The motivate me!**

**-C **


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five/The Restless**

That night Ms. Benson stayed with Freddie while everyone else went home to rest; it had been a long day for all of them.

Carly was in her bed trying to sleep but failing, all she could think about was Freddie.

_What happens now? …How can he not remember anything from the past? ...What if he never remembers?_

Her head fell to the side and she caught a glimpse of Sam who lay on her pink lounge sofa, awake as well.

_What about Sam? She loves him…_

Carly's heart sank deeper. She sighed in frustration and rolled onto her other side; away from the blonde on her sofa. _I can't imagine what she must feel like-scratch that, I can't imagine how Freddie feels… I mean waking up to complete strangers, not even knowing who he is… that must be so… scary…_

Sam felt a pair of eyes on her burn into her back; she knew Carly was staring at her, pitying her and feeling sorry for her. And Sam was pissed, she didn't need it from her, she didn't need it from anyone.

_If Carly wants to pity someone, pity Freddie. He's the one with the chizzing memory loss._

She was mad, not at Freddie, not at that truck driver, but at the world. She wanted to scream as loud as she could so the universe would hear her.

_How could he forget? How could he forget everything that happened in his life? _"Urgghh!" She yelled in frustration. _How can he forget about his life? How could it be all gone?_

_Just last Sunday he was fine; everything was normal, till he woke up. _

"Sam?" Carly turned around to face her. Sam looked at her from the lounge chair. "I'm fine Carl's go to sleep." She mumbled now looking down.

Carly got off her bed and joined her best friend. "Look I know this is hard for you-it's hard on all of us… but I just know that whatever happens, you will always have me Sam." Carly softly said as she put her arm around the blonde.

Sam nodded, she was holding in her tears for frustration and anger. "Thanks… I know…" Sam said.

"Plus I can't sleep." Carly added. Sam smiled slightly.

"How are we supposed to do this Carl's?" Sam turned to her best friend. Carly let go of Sam and thought about it for a moment.

"I don't know Sam." She mumbled. "But, we'll figure it out. Okay?"

Sam nodded. "Umkay."

…

Marissa Benson never thought she'd be in this kind of situation with Freddie. As she watched him sleep she thought of anything she could've down wrong.

Should she have let him go on that trip to Portland with Sam? Should she have gone with them? Did she properly double check the brakes on his car?-Triple check? Did she make sure he was perfectly healthy to go out of the state?-Or did she forget to even check?

Right now she couldn't remember anything that happened the night the two eighteen year olds left for their trip. It was all a blank memory, an empty canvas.

Earlier that night after everyone left home, Freddie asked her where his father was. She didn't even have the heart to tell him that she had no clue; that his father had abandoned them long ago.

_What did my Freddie bear do to deserve this? He's such a good kid… and now he doesn't even remember me, his own mother…_

She looked away from her sleeping son and stared out the window at the Seattle lights. It was almost silent, with the exception of the few machines in the room going about their business.

Marissa wanted one thing, and one thing only; her son back.

…

Streaks of sunlight brightly peaked out of the blinds on the window in the morning. It was around late nine when Freddie woke up all alone.

Emptiness and stillness surrounded him. He still had no clue who he was; his brain was blank. He knew his name was Freddie and all, but the idea of not knowing where he came from, what he was like, where he grew up, who raised him… scared the living daylights out of him.

He cautiously look around his room, he felt relieved he was alone; no more doctors, no more people who said they knew him, no more questions, no more answers.

He sighed uncomfortably, his throat was rough and dry, and he seriously needed a drink of water. Even thought he liked being alone, he couldn't help but wonder where everyone went.

_That nice lady stayed with me last night, she said she was my mom- but if she was, wouldn't she be here with me? _He asked himself. _Maybe something came up; maybe she had to talk to my doctor or something… _He thought.

Suddenly the sliding doors to his room opened, and Dr. Baits entered, as well as Ms. Benson.

"Good morning Freddie, I see you're up." Dr. Baits smiled at her young patient. "Hi." He mumbled out.

"I'm just going to check over something okay?" Freddie nodded. It felt strange to him, to talk with someone when he was lying down. "Um, can I-er sit up?" He asked. His voice was completely disoriented.

Dr. Baits stopped and faced him. "Freddie you have a broken collar bone, sitting up wont probably be an option for a little while, I understand it's a bit awkward to only stay in that position she here's what I'll do," Dr. Baits pressed a button on the bed, and it started to slowly rise. Then the doctor pressed it one more time before I rose to high up for him. "There, better?" Freddie nodded. "Yeah Thanks-um-did you just say I have a broken collarbone?" He asked alerted.

The doctor nodded. Freddie's eyes had a panicked look in them. "What else is wrong with me-other than the fact that I can't remember anything that has ever happened to me?" He was now getting more panicked, and his blood pressure was rising rapidly. This was all becoming too overwhelming too fast for him.

"Freddie I need you to calm down okay?" He tried to take in a deep breath but he couldn't, panic spread through him like wild fire. "Freddie you need to calm down or I have to sedate you!" The doctor said loudly but clearly.

"Hey… Freddie… lo-look at me… right at me. You're fine, okay?" The Dr. Baits tried to calm him down.

Freddie now managed a deep breath and tried to calm himself. After a moment he stared at Dr. Baits with an expressionless face. "Tell me everything." He said without any emotion in his face.

Dr. Baits nodded, before she explained to Freddie the full extent of his injures she turned to his mother who had an alarming look in her eyes. "He should know." Ms. Benson mumbled.

"Freddie I'm afraid what I'm about to tell you isn't very good news, but everything is treatable and curable…"

…

"What do you suggest I do to try to regain my memories?" Freddie asked Dr. Baits, after a tough conversation between the two.

"Well, I like I have said before, you'll be talking to Dr. Schmitt, a therapist here at the hospital that specializes in amnesia cases. Other than that I would normally suggest; if you have a smart phone, laptop… anything of that sort… the information that is inside could potentially help you, unfortunately mister; you're not allowed to look at any computer screens and such."

Freddie frowned. "Why?"

"You still have a pretty intense concussion. Let me ask you something; does your brain feel like its throbbing?" Freddie nodded. "Then you still have a concussion. But your friends and family could still help you, they could tell you stories, things like that, that could potentially help you in the long run."

Freddie nodded. "Now the CAT scan results should come in a couple more days, then we'll see how much damage there is to your temporal lobe, and we'll go from there. How does that sound?"

Freddie nodded. "S-sounds-good. C-can I have some-um time alone for a couple minutes?" He stuttered.

Dr. Baits nodded. "Of course." She stood up and turned around when she noticed his mother wasn't following her. "Marissa? Maybe it's best if we give him a little space."

Ms. Benson nodded. She stayed silent as she walked out the sliding doors and back into the hallway.

Freddie felt a little guilty for sending his mother out of the room, but he felt as if he was going to suffocate. Too much information was being thrown at him at the same time, his brain couldn't process it that fast for some reason. And to top all that his head was pounding wildly.

He just wanted to get out of this nightmare.

_Why did this happen to me? I didn't want this-I don't want his! _He thought in frustration. He could barely even remember his first name. He just wanted it all to stop.

"Urgh!" He shouted in anger. "Please…" He sighed in desperation. This was way too much for him to handle.

_Why me? What in the world did I do to deserve this? …Maybe I'm a bad person…maybe I did something and karma finally got to me… do I even believe in Karma?- What city am I in? I'm speaking English, so I must be American…-wait… how old am I? _Freddie took a moment and took and deep breath as a way to clam himself down, he could feel anxiously building up in him.

_What if they're lying… all those people and they kidnapped me and beat me till I couldn't remember my past life and try to force me into a new life… oh god! I want… my mom, who ever that is, I want my father…do I have a father? I don't know, that lady said my father abandoned us- wait but she could be lying… she doesn't even have proof that she's my real mother…_

It went on and on like that in his mind for a couple minutes before his mother walked back in his room, looking as if she'd been crying.

Freddie's head turned towards his mother and he said one thing and one thing only.

"I want proof."

…

**End of Chapter Five! I hope you like it! Next Chapter Sam, Carly and Fredward all sit down and talk! Please review! The more reviews I get the faster I update! :)**

**-C**


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six/The Attempt**

"He wants what?" Carly asked, it wasn't that she was confused, she was just shocked. "He wants proof that we-he i-is who we say he is..." Ms. Benson barely managed to form the sentence out.

Carly shut her eyes and sighed lightly. "Yes-I um-understand Ms. Benson." "Any pictures, videos-anything you can find of him-j-just bring to the hospital alright?" Ms. Benson asked.

Carly could tell Freddie's mother was seconds from crying, so she politely said she needed to go, though it was a complete lie.

"I'm sorry Ms. Benson but I gotta-um go... we'll be at the hospital in about a half and hour or so with everything."

Marissa nodded. "Thank you Carly." She sniffed then hung up.

"What was that all about?" Sam asked. She was sitting at the foot of the stairs behind her best friend who had no idea she was listening in on her conversation.

"Whoa-when did you get here?" Carly jumped. Sam started to rise. "Just a couple minutes ago... was that Ms. Benson?"

Carly nodded and flopped her self on the couch. Sam followed. "Yeah, she said that Freddie wants proof that-ya know..." She shrugged. "He is who we say..." She said lowly.

Sam stayed silent for a couple seconds. _How couldn't he believe us? I mean we're the only people who have come and told him about his life... What did some other middle aged couple walk in and tell him differently? Urgh! _

"Your kidding..." She whispered. Carly didn't even have the heart to answer, she just shook her head. _No._

"So... Um what do we bring?" Sam mumbled a few seconds later.

"Pictures... maybe some bits from a few iCarly videos..." Carly sighed. Sam nodded. "I miss him..." Sam mumbled out uncontrollably.

Carly nodded. "Me too." She exhaled.

"Hey kiddo's what do ya guys want for breakfast?" Spencer dully said cutting off their conversation as they walked to the kitchen.

Carly shrugged. "Can we just pick up some bagels on the way to the hospital or something?"

Spencer shrugged and leaned against the island counter. You could tell his crazy, creative spirit, self was totally down today. "Thats fine."

"What about you Sam?"

Sam didn't even look at Carly's brother when she answered the question. "I'm not really hungry." She said simply.

Spencer froze. Not one time, not once in his life that he's known Sam had that ever come out of her mouth. In that moment, he knew something has changed permanently. Not only with Sam, but with everything.

Life as he, Carly, Sam, and Ms. Benson knew it, was gone.

...

Freddie lay down wide awake, a nurse had just come in a couple minutes ago and dressed him in a gown. Sadly now that he's moved a bit his shoulder started bothering him.

At first it was only and annoying throbbing, but now pain was running up and down; from his shoulder diagonally to his chest.

"Freddie are you alright?" Ms. Benson asked, worry edged within her voice. Freddie nodded, yet frowned. He didn't like it when people called him Freddie-though it strangely felt natural to his ears, he was bothered by it.

_How could complete strangers know my name when I don't? _He thought. _Ahh that right..."memory loss"._

His throat was dry from the lack of hydration so his voice came out rather raspy. "I'm-uh-my shoulder kinda hurts." He admitted, hoping that there is something she can do to get ride of the pain.

Ms. Benson stood up immediately and took a deep breath, she tried not to freak out and over react. "That's probably expected, I'll page Dr. Baits; she can help." Marissa pressed the _call_ button and then sat on a new seat; the chair next to his best side. She was previously on the other side of the room trying to painfully (for her) give him space.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you Freddie-Bear..." She mumbled out in a motherly way. Freddie stared at her, unsure of what to say. "I know-that um, that it's probably not the best idea for me to say anything but... It's hard..." She place her hand gently on his forehead, as if to check his temperature, then in a moment removed it.

Freddie looked up at her awkwardly. He swallowed then spoke up. "I-um, I'm sorry too." His voice came out weak and dry. "...about asking for proof earlier... I-um-" He cleared his voice and he now sounded much more like himself. "I want to believe what everyone is telling me is true, but I need proof. And I'm..." He took as much a deep breath as he could. "I'm sorry if I hurt anyone..." That was all he said as Ms. Benson smiled and stood up. She was desperately trying to hold her tears in, but she knew any moment she would explode into an emotional freak.

"I'm going to go outside and-um-I'll be right back." She whispered as she walked out of the room, and just as she left Dr. Baits entered.

"Hi Freddie, you pressed the button?" The young doctor looked up from her clipboard. Freddie nodded and let the thoughts go about his mother leaving the room unexpectedly.

"Yeah, uh-my shoulder really hurts." Dr. Baits suddenly became alarmed. "Oh that's not your shoulder bud, thats your collarbone." She informed him she a walked over to the side of his bed. "Now I'm just going to check on it." Freddie nodded.

Dr. Baits moved the blanket further down below his waist and then spoke. "You know you have a couple broken and bruised ribs, so before I move you I want to make you don't feel a thing."

With Freddie's approval the doctor place her four fingers on top of where his ribs should be and pressed down gently. "Feel anything?"

Freddie shook his head. "Nope."

She pressed a little firmer and asked again. When his answer remained the same she smiled and pulled the covers back up to his waist. "Okay we'll that's great news for you..." She mumbled.

The brunette boy slightly frowned. "How so?"

Dr. Baits gently pulled him into a sitting up position and half heartily smiled at him. Freddie slightly whimpered; he didn't like moving very much. "Well, Once the morphine starts to wear off, it's not going to be a lot of fun kid." She answered truthfully.

"Why not?" Freddie suddenly felt stupid asking that question. Dr. Baits undid the bow that the back of his neck that was keeping the gown tied together. With the gown now falling off his frame she slid the fabric off his right shoulder and right below that she could clearly see the broken clavicle.

There was a bump at where the bone snapped, and it was of another color; almost red. But it did look quite painful. "Tell me on a scale of one to ten ow much this hurts right now." Dr. Baits instructed.

"Five..." Freddie answered.

The doctor nodded. Then asked again. "What about know." She touched the bump with two of her fingers, not to hard, but not to gently either. "Gah-h..." Freddie let out. "Okay that was nine-let's not get a nine anymore."

The doctor sighed in defeat and then wrote something in her clipboard. "Looks like I was wrong, I'm sorry Freddie but it looks like hadn't healed on its own. I'm afraid you're gonna need one more surgery."

Freddie was stunned; lost for words. "Take a beep breath, I'm here to help you..." The doctor reassured him. "I'm going to get a sling for you arm, if you hold it close to your side the pain will subdue." Dr. Baits tied the back of the gown together and then let him rest against his pillow once more.

Freddie nodded and watched Dr. Baits walk out of the room in a trance.

...

"We'll I got pictures," Sam spoke.

Carly walked to the kitchen island and sat next to her best friend. "I got videos." She sighed.

"And I got the keys! let's skedaddle on out." Spencer said, a little joy could be heard in his tone as he shook his keys in the air. Both Carly and Sam got up and walked out the door as Spencer locked up behind them.

...

The gang walked through the glass sliding doors in hope to help their friend regain his memory.

"Hi Freddie." Carly started. She acted as her normal self, and as if she nothing was wrong. Freddie's head shot up. "Hi." He exhaled. He didn't really remember her name-now that he thought about it he barley remembers anyone's name...

Until he looked at the blonde. She stood behind the brunette unsure of what to say or do.

"Hey Sam." The words just uncontrollably slipped out. _Whoa, where did that come from? _He asked himself.

Carly's smile grew wider as she turned around and saw Sam slightly blushing. "So how are you?" Sam asked. The sentence came out strained and awkward. Freddie shrugged -well tried to. "I think I've been better." He admitted.

Carly sighed. "So your mom told us that you wanted some-um... reassurance," The brunette girl chose her words carefully, trying not to make it sound rude. "We have some videos-"

"-Yeah and some pictures." Spencer cut in, he rose the box full of pictures Sam had forced him to carry up.

Freddie smiled. He felt as if he was getting one step closer to solving this whole puzzle.

"That's great, let's see them."

"Hey where's Ms. Benson?" Spencer asked in confusion. "Normally she'd be here." He commented. A pang of guilty suddenly hit Freddie. He remembered how she left abruptly after her... confession.

"S-she um-went to get some fresh air..." Freddie spoke, he was struggling to get the sentence out due to the fact that he knew he was lying.

Silence over took the room for a moment until spencer broke it with the clearing of his throat.

"So do ya wanna see them...or what..?" Sam asked him in an annoyed matter. She didn't fully understand the previous necessary silence that took over the room.

Freddie nodded and smiled. "Y-yeah, of course."

With his answer Spencer carefully handed over the box of pictures to Freddie. Freddie opened it and cautiously looked over photo to photo as Sam, Carly and Spencer explained along the way.

...

"You mean we have to parachute out of the plane?" Freddie asked trying to catch his breath from all the laughter that over took him.

Carly and Sam laughed along with him. "Well some of did... others were pushed." She smirked at Freddie. Then Carly burst out laughing. "I remember that! Once Freddie was out the door falling, Ms. Benson took no time and jumped out herself."

"-don't forget about me now guys I jumped out too-" Spencer butt in, in an amusing tone. The girls bother rolled their eyes. "Spencer there's a difference between jumping and falling out of a plane. That collar you had around your neck electrocuted you and you fell out!" Carly laughed.

Freddie laughed hoarsely. Thought he didn't have any mommies of jumping out of a plane in Japan, he found it quite amusing.

Spencer made an immature face of annoyance and crossed his arms like a little kid. "Fine..."

"Give it up Carl's, the only people that had the balls to jump were us two and Crazy." Sam retorted. Freddie had an amused frowned plaster into his face. "Hold it, you saying my mom is crazy? How come? She seems normal to me..." He replied.

And to think of it the girls did notice the strange way Marissa acted the past few days. And she was acting totally out of character... every time she saw Freddie she wouldn't look him in the eye and barley make conversation; 80% of the time she wasn't even in the room.

"We don't know anything, but something is up with your mom... she would be crazy obsessed over protecting you, I'm surprised the minute she found out you were in the ER she didn't rush over here slap some doctors to find you and come spray you with antibiotics and antibacterial spray..." Sam commented.

Freddie chuckled but held an frown. "She would do that?" He asked.

Carly nodded. She could see Freddie was clearly amused by Sam's story, but she nodded in approval, what Sam said was _true_.

"Yeah, she's been acting... I don't know... normal... I better check on her." Spencer said standing up. Freddie turned his head to the older male. "Last time I saw her she said something about going outside then talking to my doctor..." He informed Spencer.

"I'll check with Doctor Baits first before going outside. Cya kiddos." With that he felt the room. Carly gently collected all the photographs they've talked about and shared once more with Freddie, from around his bed. "You believe us don't you?" Carly asked in her innocent fragile voice.

Freddie stared at her, but them he understood what she meant. After a moment. He nodded and replied "How can I not? I'm clearly in all these photo's,".

"...I just wish I could remember them."

Carly looked down in sadness, Sam just remained staring at him. She couldn't puzzle out how he could just forget. Everything?

The mind works in wondrous ways... because she remembers everything. She remembers that panicked feeling that struck her when she saw the semi colliding with their car. She remembers how she woke up strapped up in her seatbelt, then looking around the crumpled raiment of the car. She remembers seeing Freddie, covered in his own blood and unconscious-every time she thought of that, she wanted to throw up- She remembers that look Freddie gave her before he passed out once more.

She remembers everything... and in the end, she decides he's the lucky one. He doesn't have to deal with all the emotional stress it's caused her.

"Recap?" Freddie asked the girls. Both snapped out of their thoughts and gave their undivided attention to the fragile boy in the bed.

Sam nodded. "Recap." She agreed.

Freddie's eyes narrowed as he thought. "My name is Freddie Karl Benson... I am 18 years old... I-I um live in Bashwell Plaza-"

"Bushwell Plaza..." Carly corrected him.

"Bushwell Plaza, we have known each other for as long as we remembered. I've _had_ a crazy crush on you," He slightly moves his arm upward and barley points at Carly with his bent finger. "Carly nods."

"And you have a brother, that's Spencer, the guy who just left..." Carly nodded and smiled a bit. Then he pointed to Sam. "And you, you have a crazy weird mom... and a twin sister, and you love meat-"

"Ham, I love ham Freddie." Sam butt in. Freddie smiled. "You love ham-" "And Fried Chicken." She cut him off once more. Freddie smiled. "You love Ham, and Fried Chicken-"

"Also Fat Cakes." Sam cut him off once again. "Sam..." Carly gave Sam a warning indicting that what she was doing was rude. "What? The boy gotta know." The blonde defended herself.

Freddie chuckled and nodded continuing on. "And you and Carly have a webshow called... iSparly?" He guessed.

"It's iCarly... Freddie not iSparly..." Carly laughed as Sam joined along. Freddie shook his head. "R-right-" He let his head fall onto his side and he let out a long yawn.

There was a moment of silence when you could only hear the rhythm of Freddie's heart monitor beeping, before Sam cut it with her voice. "Th-there's one more thing you should know..."

Carly gave her best friend an alarmed look of _what are you talking about?_

Sam ignored it and of Freddie's eyebrows shot up in curiosity. "What's that?" You could tell by the tone in his voice he was drifting away into sleep. The morphine that kept him in a painless matter, also made him drowsy and very tired. When Sam noticed this, she drew back. "-Never mind. You'll find out tomorrow." She whispered.

Freddie's eyes began to droop as his breathing slowed to a soft and paced wheeze. "Kay..." He breathed out.

Carly's smile of sympathy was showing once more as Sam was beginning to show hers as well. "Close your eyes Freddie, and we'll tell you a story... okay?"

Freddie nodded slowly as he closed his eyes. Sam got off the foot of his bed and sat down on a chair next to his bedside on the opposite side of Carly.

Carly pushed her hair out of her eyes and gently grabbed his hand. She looked up at Sam with tears stinging in her eyes then looked at the boy.

"So there was this time when you, Sam, Gibby and Spencer all went to Canada because Sam wanted to go to their Fat Cake factory... well when you guys were done and wanted to cross the border they wouldn't let Sam because at first they caught her smuggling in Canadian Fat Cakes then the second time they caught her, she didn't have any American identification... So you know what she did?" Carly's voice was soothing and unsteady as she shed a few tears.

"Hum?" Freddie mumbled. Then Sam joined in. She grabbed his hand gently not to scare him with the sudden touch. She cleared her throat and spoke. "I had Gibby zip me up into a suit case... but..." Sam exhaled and smiled.

She didn't really like the way Carly was crying over Freddie like he was a broken doll-even if he was... he was fixable. To Sam Carly was crying over him like he would never remember... like he would never come back to them.

"On accident Gibby grabbed the wrong suit case and I woke up on a twenty three hour flight to Korea, in the luggage compartment... man, the looks on Those Korean officials when I explained to them how I got there..." She chuckled. "Priceless." She whispered as she noticed he had called asleep.

...

"Dr. Baits!" Spencer shouted after her when he saw her down the hall. She turned around and smiled. "What can I do for you Mr. Shay?"

Spencer stopped to catch his breath once He reached her and spoke. "Y-you can call me Spencer..." He tired to play out smoothly.

She nodded her head in confusion. "Okay? What is it Spencer? Is Freddie okay?-"

The tall brunette nodded. "He's fine." He breathed out. "I-I-um was wondering if you've seen Mrs. Benson around here? It's kinda important I find her."

Dr. Baits suddenly looked down in sympathy. "Yes, I know where she is, I saw her in there a couple minutes ago... follow me."

Spencer frowned in confusion but followed the attractive doctor anyway. After a few turns and an elevator ride to the first floor she stopped in from of two large wooden doors that had a sign, it read out _Chapel._

Spencer's heart dropped and he shared a silent thank you to the doctor before he gently placed his hand on the handle and turned it open.

When he walked in, the warm embrace of softly lit candles in the dim lit room struck him.

It was a small humble chapel; almost claustrophobic in a way. Once he was completely in the room, he spotted her. She was sitting in the second row to the front. She wasn't praying, she wasn't on her knee's... she wasn't doing much of anything.

He silently walked down the isle and slid down next to her. "Hey Ms. Benson."

She said nothing, just turn her head towards him to acknowledge his presence.

After a couple moments of respective silence, Spencer felt the need to speak up once more.

"So... I'm confused." He gently let out, as he frowned. Ms. Benson stayed silent.

"I-mean why aren't you with Freddie?" He softly spoke. "He needs you." He mumbled.

"...What happened Ms. Benson?" He whispered as he looked at her. Marissa turned her head once more towards his, but this time, it revealed painful tears or regret.

Spencer immediately warped his arm around her as she let her self start sobbing into his shoulder.

"W-why?" She hiccuped. "W-why d-did I-I let him go? Hu?" She took a labored breath and continued on. "Why h-him?-w-why my Freddie-b-bear?"

A tear ran down Spencer's face. He felt extremely bad for Freddie's mother. "He's s-such a g-good boy..." She cried harder.

"He doesn't d-des-erve this." She sobbed as she clung to Spencer's shirt.

Spencer stayed quite. And listened to Freddie's mother's heartbreaking sobs. Then he mumbled as his voice broke. "I don't _know_."

...

**There it was Chapter Six! Hope you liked it! Sorry if the beginning was a little too informative... did I mention I want to be a doctor? If not, that's why it was so detailed. :P Anyway! REVIEW? Please? New updates soon!**

**-C**


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven/The Help**

So many thing were going through Sam's mind, that it was keeping her awake. She didn't want to think about Freddie, and what happened tonight at all, yet that was all she could think about.

Sam knew things were going to change -in fact they already had, but she didn't want them too; she wanted things to stay the same.

She wanted Freddie to go back to the way he was, she wanted to get back in that car and drag him out before that Semi collided with them. But sadly, even if when you want something that's impossible, that bad; it won't happen.

Sam sighed and turned on her other side in frustration. She thought about the place they were coming from when they crashed; the Fat Cake Convention.

_Did we really have to that stupid Fat Cake Convention_? Sam asked herself, guilt ran up her spine and made her shiver. _No-we had to! I mean two of my favorite things in one place! Fat Cakes and Conventions!-you always get free stuff at conventions_. Sam fought with herself in her head.

_I mean, phfft... who knew this was going to happen_?! She continued on. Sam went on like this for a couple minutes before her mind wondered back to the crash scene... moments after she got to the main raid and phoned 9-1-1.

_~Flasback~_

_Sam kept her arm close to her side as she slide down the embankment to get back to the car. Pain was erupting up and down her broken arm, but she didn't care, she needed to help that's what she did._

_Sam walked around the car once to encounter every possibility of getting him out of the car, but instead of only finding a safe way to get him out, she noticed that the engine in front of the car was smoking and soon it started a small but potentially deadly fire. _

_She had to get _him_ out._

_So Sam being Sam, she continued ignoring the pain her arm and pulled on the remains of the car door to his side. Freddie still hadn't regain consciousness, which worried her, but she need to try something. _

_After a couple minutes the door finally swung open, before completely falling off its broken hinges. Sam quickly ran to Freddie's side and began to gently pull him outside, but she quickly noticed his legs were pinned under the fallen dashboard and blood was oozing out of a deep cut in his leg. The blonde immediately stopped pulling on him and debated on what she should do. _

_She noticed the fire was beginning to quickly spread. _

_Sam needed to get him out of that car quickly. So she bent down and gently slide his leg out from under the dashboard, that one was defiantly broken; it's bent and awkward position told Sam that. _

_The other leg was more stubborn however; It refused to come out from under. She cried in frustration and cursed at herself. Even though Sam was usually the strong one, she felt completly weak and helpless._

_All she wanted to do was get him out and help him. To save him._

_"Come on Freddie." She mumbled desperately as she once more tugged on his leg gently. "Please..." She continued. But his leg wouldn't budge. The blonde noticed the engine was now wildly on fire. Panic swept though her once more._

_Sam took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Once she did, she leaned inside the car again and gently grabbed his ankle with her good arm. She slid it towards her cautiously in hope that his knee would drop from the broken dashboard. And it did. She slightly smiled as relief set on her._

_Once his leg was out from being trapped under the dashboard, she undid his seat belt, then gently turned him, so that his back was facing her. Once there, ignoring the pain from her broken arm, she wrapped both her arms under his armpits and carefully dragged him out of the drivers side._

_She laid him down a safe distance away from the car. Instantly she grabbed her arm in pain and silently cursed. _

_After a little while the pain in her arm was starting to numb and she decided to check over on Freddie. As Sam leaned in she heard a soft cough -and it wasn't from her. Her eyes snapped to Freddie's, they were fluttering open._

_"Freddie! Freddie!" She shouted, hovering above him. "...can you hear me?" She screamed. Suddenly she could hear sirens in the background on the main road._

_Freddie stared back up at her in confusion he didn't understand what was happening. But he nodded, because he could hear the strange girl screaming, it seemed to him she was in panic. "Oh thank god," Sam sighed, she slightly smiled. "Don't panic everything is gonna be okay Dork..." She trailed off._

_He tried to fight the urge to close his eyes but he was failing. Pain consumed his whole body. He just wanted to give up so badly and close his eyes. He had no idea what was going on, where he was, or even who the strange girl was. He swore he's never seen her face before, but then again it was strangely familiar. _

_In the end he shut his droopy eyes closed and everything was finally at peace._  
><em>Sam turned her head around and saw a team of paramedics pace down the embarkment. "Everything's gonna be fine..." She mumbled to Freddie, but when she turned her head back to him, he had already passed out.<em>

_~Flashback End~_

The blonde swallowed hard and exhaled a breath she didn't realize she was holding in.

She thought about the day she had today. Overall it was pretty good one due to the fact that the others were mainly consumed by her unconscious best friend.

They went to see him today. At the hospital, he was awake and very confused. He even demanded proof about his identity, which surprised Sam, but then again, didn't. He _is_ Fredward Benson after all, it was probably an instinct to question what didn't seem right, or safe.

After they got past the whole awkward stage, the proof was delivered, along with a bunch of crazy memories from the iCarly gang, well iCarly gang minus Freddie. (Who was listening.)

And her day did end nicely, or at least better then the others had. Because tonight she had more hope that he would remember, he did wake up after all didn't he?

She took a deep calming breath and tried to relax. But all she wanted to do was get back to the hospital and see him.

She had already saved him, now it was time to help him.

**... **

**Sorry about this chapter, it was mainly just a filler. I hope you enjoyed! Seddie scenes in the next few chapters! Sorry for the lack of seddie. :( **

**-C**


	8. Chapter Eight

**Chapter 8/ The Speech**

So that night instead of sulking in her bed Sam got up, dressed in a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt, grabbed her jacket and walked out of the door.

She was seriously doing this.

It was around eleven at night and the streets of Seattle were as creepy as ever. Some street lights we're dimly lit, others were flickering on and off as to portray the disorder of her life as at this moment.

As she made her walk of fifteen short blocks to her destination from Bushwell Plaza she thought about next year. She thought about how they were finally starting their senior year in the fall. How just in one year they were graduating and going off the college. But then she thought about how far that seemed. She knew the next couple do weeks were going to be hard. Not only on her, but on everyone.

Especially Freddie.

She just wishes she knew what to do. She doesn't know how to make it better and she desperately wants to.  
>This time she has to be the strong one, because this time her rock isn't there to help support her. This time, her rock is the problem. And it's not an easy fix.<p>

Sam stared straight in from of her, the cold Seattle wind blew against her making her already goosebumps stick straight up.

_Only seven more blocks..._

She thought about their webshow. They are supposed to film a new iCarly in a few days. But how could they? When the person responsible for producing the show is behind hospital walls struggling to remember who he is and who the rest of them are.

_What are we going to do?_  
>...<p>

Sam comes to a stop when she see's the bright red lights of the sign in from of her come in view.

_Seattle Med. _

She takes a deep and enters the sliding doors without any hesitation.  
>She walks the familiar path she's walked on many times to the elevator, and presses the up button.<p>

The doors open and she gets in quickly not wanting to be seen by an hospital ordeals, who might kick her out. Thankfully no one was manning the front desk when she walked in so she got a free pass.

She pressed the button that took her to the fifth floor and waited nervously. She didn't even know what she was doing here but she felt that she needed to be there.

The elevator doors opened after a while and she stuck her head out hoping that no one who had the authority to question her presence was there. Thankfully, the hallways were as empty as- well they were plain empty.

She walked out shoving her hands in the pockets of her jacket and paced down the hall to the ICU unit. As she passed the ICU sign she took a right and ended up in front of his room.

From there she could easily see him asleep, and no one else was in his room.  
>She was about to take a step forward but something made her jump back.<p>

"Sam? Is that you?" A voice suddenly asked her. Sam's heart raced. She had been spotted.

Sam turned around and was face by Dr. Baits herself.  
>"Hi." She exhaled. Dr. Baits frowned. "Visiting hours are over Sam, who let you in?"<p>

Sam relaxed a bit. _Lying_ was her thing, she would be just fine, she thought. "Some lady at the front desk said it was okay to come up." She lied flawlessly.

Dr. Baits smiled, but she saw right through her. "Sam you and I both know that there's no one down stairs, what are you _really_ doing here?"

Sam sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. What _was_ she doing her? ...She didn't even know.

So she turned around without a fight. "Where you going?" Dr. Baits asked.  
>Sam turned to face her once more. She looked like a nervous wreck. "Look I'm sorry, I d-don't even know what I'm doing here. It-it's not like he remembers me anyway." She turned back towards the elevator but was stopped again, this time by Dr. Baits hand on her shoulder.<p>

"I'm not supposed to let anyone in Sam, you know the rules." She said apologetically. Sam nodded, wondering why this woman was still talking to her.

"But, if I happen to get paged outta here on a short notice." Dr. Baits smiles wickedly as she drops her hand and unclips the pager on her coat; As if on time, it beeps. "...and not see a certain teenage girl walking through the halls..." She continues.

Sam smiled, finally realizing what this doctor was doing. She was trying to let her see Freddie and not get in trouble for it herself.

"Goodnight Sam." She whispered as she took off in a hurry. Smart lady. Sam thought as she watched her turn a corner and disappear.

Then Sam turned towards the room again. She needed to do this. She had to. So she inhaled deeply and walked through the glass sliding doors that separated Freddie's room from the hallway.

There she stood at the foot of bed. Not knowing what to do.

Should she sit? Should she stand? Should she leave? Should she stay? Should she wake him? Should she not?

Suddenly she felt something in her eyes. And unexpectedly a tear fell down her face. She quickly put her hand to her eyes in shock. She was crying. Liquid was falling out of her eyes and for what? She was crying over _Freddie Benson._

This was not the first time she cried in this situation, which was why she was so surprised she was shocked.

_Maybe it's the realization that it's all going to change- or has.._. She thought, as she desperately searched through every reason she would be crying, Especially over Freddie Benson. Even though the answer was right in from her.

She sniffed and whipped her tears away in shame. She couldn't believe herself. She was selfish. There was Freddie laying on a hospital bed, suffering through a kind of pain that barely anyone does and she's standing there trying to figure out why she's crying.

How _could_ she?

She stood there for a solid minute before she could look at him again. And Every time she did her stomach made a nasty lunge in her stomach. She wanted to take everything back she desperately, that here was no hope.

"Freddie." She whispered. Her voice came out used and dry. "I'm sorry." She tightened her eyes as she gripped the edge of the plastic bed frame as hard as she could. More tears fell down her face. But this time, she didn't care, she didn't while them away. This time she let them fall.

"It's all my fault and I'm sorry..." She spoke a little louder, but nothing came out louder than a whisper.

In that moment she knew why she couldn't sleep. She knew why she couldn't get her mind off Freddie. She knew why she had to come.

She couldn't sleep because the nightmares would start. She couldn't get her mind off of Freddie because she felt responsible and guilty for what happened and she came here because she could hold it in anymore.

Unconscious or not, Freddie had heard her. She was sorry, and she felt that it was her fault.

After she took a moment the stabilize herself Sam sat down on an empty chair besides his bedside. She purposely made herself comfortable because she knew she would be staying for a while, then she spoke.

"You know you've always been my rock?" She smiled, her eyes glassy as the tears dried away. "When the world fell apart and there was nothing but the mess to look at, you've always been there for me... you've always been right at my side."

"When I needed help, when I was mentally lost, when there was no one left. You were always here..."  
>Freddie just lay there, asleep. Oblivious to the fact that Sam was giving one of those yearly-clean slate speeches.<p>

Sam exhaled and gently grabbed his hand. "...but this time, my rock is missing." She let out a soft sob. "And I need you to come back Freddie, I want you to open your eyes so I can see those beautiful brown eyes of yours. I want them to remember me. I want them to remember the good, the bad, the ugly... I want them to remember us." She sniffed.

She was getting _too_ overwhelmed.

Everyday she would wake up and hope it was all a dream, but that was a fairytale. And Puckett's don't live in _fairytales_.

After realizing she was talking to a drugged and unconscious boy who clearly wouldn't remember anything she said in the morning she let go of his hand. She held her hand up to support her head, as she laid it underneath her chin. Her elbow standing on them armrest of the chair.

She sighed and let the rest of her pointless tears fall as she watched his chest raise and fall, and listen to the beep of the heart monitor practically giving her a heads up that he was still there every second or so.

The night grew darker and soon she was fast asleep as well.  
>...<p>

**So what did you think? Tell me in a review please! I love them! Next update this week. And thanks for helping me get 49 reviews! :) I hope you enjoyed.**

**-C**


	9. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine/The News**

_The sight was blurry, but as she adjusted her eyes the view became clearer and clearer. It was hot -too hot, and it was dark out. The car was tipped almost on its side, leaving her trapped up in her seat helplessly hanging by her seatbelt. _

_She tried to relax and clam herself down to think of a way out of there but the fog was just barely lifting from her head. _

_She looked around desperately for anyway out. She could feel her heart pounding against her chest, she could feel that panicked feeling slowly creep up on her, she felt as if she was a five year old lost in a crowd of big tall people. _

_Smoke was everywhere, and she could feel the heat of the fire in front of her. The engine was engulfed in out of control flames. Tears burned into her stained cheeks, stinging her in the process, she didn't even realize she was crying._

_Sam tried hard to push against the door to open, but it was no use. She was trapped._

_Her body tensed up as she realized that if help didn't come soon- she'd die. She tried hard to take deep breathes and clam down but it didn't help, instead she just panicked more._

_Then she saw him. And she froze with fear. She never realized there was another person in this car. He was at the bottom of car, in his seat -the seatbelt keeping him in place, and she got this sense of deja vu... it was strange... His eyes were open and his head was hanging down in front of him, but she could still make out his face._

_"F-Freddie?" She coughed out, the smoke was getting into her lungs, she knew it was going to suffocate her slowly. Sam examined him clearly, and after a while of no response, she realized he wasn't breathing... his chest wasn't raising up and down, and he wasn't... he wasn't blinking..._

_"Freddie I need you to answer me." She cried, trying to hold into any hope she could but unfortunately she knew that he was dead... she could feel it. And he didn't respond._

_She choked out an unexpected sob and cried... he was gone... one of her best friends... "Oh god!" She sobbed. And that's when the adrenaline kicked in. She wanted to get out of there-she needed to! She couldn't stand it anymore. So she kicked and pushed and slammed, and cried in frustration, until she could no more..._

_And as she sat there, hanging in the air by her seatbelt she heard a voice... It was far away, but she heard it... _

_"Sam stay with me!" The voice was strangely familiar-but then again, she swears she's never heard it before. _

_"Sam!" There it was again. And Sam frowned at the tone in the voice, it was clearly a female, but it wasn't Carly... nor her mother... _

_The smoke engulfed her leaving no more air to breath in and her body relaxed, having no more fight in it._

_"SAM!"_

...

Sweat dripped down her forehead, as the fog lifted from her mind. She was panting quickly trying to catch her breath. Her heart was racing and she couldn't calm down.

When she opened her eyes wearily, shock and almost panic swept through her body as she tensed. _What the shiz am I doing here? _

Then it struck her, she had walked there from Carly's the night before, and she expressed all that she felt inside to him. _Thank god he was asleep. _She thought as her eyes set on his still, sleeping figure. _He would've thought I was a nut-case._

She rubbed her eyes and stood straight up in her chair to stretch her back. _That defiantly wasn't a good position to sleep in... then again, it was a chair..._

_And here I thought the nightmares would go away... _She mentally sighed, turning her head towards the door for a second. Her eyes then quickly set back on Freddie, he seemed the same from the last time she glanced at him. It was _always _like that.

As she watched him sleep in peaceful slumber she remembered one of the last normal times he had fallen asleep at her house while they were studying -well trying to study... Back when they were together.

...

_"Remind me why I have to do this again?" Sam moaned in protest looking up to Freddie from the boring history book that sat on his desk. _

_Freddie looked up from his _American History: Advanced Edition_ book and smiled at his girlfriend. "Because we want to ace this final to pass Junior year Sam. Do you wanna be Junior while your man is a Senior?" Sam made an annoyed face. "Correction, not man. You're my Nub." _

_Freddie rolled his eyes and set his book down on the bed where he was sitting up in. "Fine, nub." He mocked her playfully._

_Sam then pouted. "No, I don't." She grumbled like a little child. "Then come here and give me kiss and get back to work." He said with a witty smile on his face."_

_Sam sighed and smirked as she got off the office chair and went over to Freddie. She hovered in front of him and gave him a quick peck on the lips. She could feel his heat on her face; it sent chills down her spine. She wanted more, but ultimately that wasn't going to happen. Tonight, they would study. So she got off the bed giving Freddie one last smirk and sat back down in her office chair._

_Sam stared blankly at the History book that held useless words of boredom. "I can't believe your making me do this Benson..." She complained once more before starting to read the first paragraph on the page. Freddie just chuckled at her, amused by her efforts against not studying. _

Hours Later…

_Sam turned around in the office chair not taking her eyes off the American History Book in her hands. "Freddie oh my god, did you know Hitl-" She looked up and found him asleep on her bed. The book lay open, faced own on his chest, and his head was tilted backwards._

_Sam lost her train of thought as she smiled at him in admiration. She closed the book in her hands and placed it on the desk behind her as she got up and sat on the other side of the bed._

_She chuckled at him and gently took the book off his chest. "You work too hard sometimes baby." She whispered then kissed his cheek._

_..._

Sam looked at him now, and her heart just fell into pieces. And she didn't know where to being to pick them up. She wanted to help him, help him remember. But she didn't know where to start.

She sighed and leaned back in her chair. Just then Dr, Baits walked in, clipboard in hand, smile on face.

"Good morning Sam." She said in a hushed tone. "Mornin'." Sam greeted. "Here to check on Freddie?" She questioned.

Dr. Baits nodded. "Yeah, I'll be a moment -oh, Carly and Spencer called asking if you were here, I told them that you were. I hope that's okay."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, thats fine... hey so uhh... is he getting any better?" Sam asked curiously. Dr. Baits looked up from the instrument she was recording data from and looked her in the eye.

"Oh defiantly, he's improved lot from when he first came here." She explained. There was a moment of silence before Dr. Baits spoke once more. "When they rolled him in, I honestly thought he was a goner. But he's proven me wrong, he's proven all of us wrong."

Sam's eyes rested back on Freddie. "When do you think he can come home?" She asked timidly. Truth was, she was almost scared to know.

Dr. Baits looked at Freddie as well, and smiled. "I'm not sure, his clavicle surgery is Friday night, maybe a day or two after that. If he's okay, and feeling up for it, I'll discard him."

Sam nodded. "Cool." She exhaled.

"What about you Sam? How have you been holding things up?" Dr. Baits completely caught her off guard with this question.

Sam stared at the floor in hope it would give her a plausible lie to tell. "Good. I've been _fine_."

Well, you know what fine stands for right?" Dr. Baits said it as if it was a puzzle; one of Sam's eyebrows went up in question. The blonde shook her head.

"…freaked out, insecure… neurotic, emotional." She finished. Sam continued to look at her in question, but stayed silent. She was waiting for her to finish.

"My mother told me that when I was little… it's actually been proven right by my experiences…" She trailed on.

Sam stared at her in wonder and couldn't help already comparing their mothers. _My mom never gave me useful advice… _She thought sadly. Then Sam frowned even deeper as her eyebrows arched. _Actually, I bet she doesn't even know what happened…_

Her heart sank even deeper, if that was possible. Her own mother doesn't even check up on her. She could be dead and Pam wouldn't know.

"My mom never gave me good advice…" Sam started, taking her eyes off the floor and onto Dr. Baits. "The only advice she ever gave me was to find a rich man to marry, because Pucketts aren't worth it," Sam said every word in utter disgust; angered by her mother's lack of instinct and love for her. "at least to her."

"Sam you know there are people you can talk to about this here." The doctor spoke writing down in her clipboard some data off a machine.

Sam shook her head. "I don't need help. I have all that I need, I have Carly, and I_ will_ have Freddie back." She spoke those words which such confidence, she almost believed it for a moment. But she knew the harsh reality; she knew that there was a chance he would never remember. And that was the unsettling truth.

…

"Sam don't you ever do that again!" Carly scolded Sam as she brought her in for a hug. Sam just smiled. "I know, I should've left a note or something—" "No you shouldn't have gone at all! And in the middle of the night too! –do you know how many dangerous men are out there in Seattle?" Carly cried.

Sam smirked. "—and you do know I'm Sam Puckett… right?" She joked. Carly rolled her eyes and hugged her once more. "God Sam, I was so freaked –it was like the waiting room all over again!" The last sentence slipped out subconsciously.

And Sam's face turned white. "Oh god…" She mumbled. Carly's eyes widened. "Oh Sam, don't –it's okay. It's okay now, and—"

But Sam shook her head and let go of her. "No, it's not okay Carly… I-I didn't even think about—"

"Can you tell me about it?" Sam's voice seemed to echo off the walls of the long narrow hospital hall.

It took Carly a moment, but she nodded a yes and spoke. "But first let's see Freddie."

…

When they entered his room, Freddie was still asleep which was expected from the amount of morphine in him.

"So you slept here?" Carly asked in disbelieve. Sam nodded. "Yeah –I didn't mean to, bu I just fell asleep."

"What made you come?" The brunette asked in wonder. Sam shrugged. "I don't even know actually, but… I don't know, I feel safe around him…" Sam just realized what she said and her eyes went wide. "Share that with anyone else Shay-!" She threatened. Carly rolled her eyes. "Who would I tell? Gibby?" She joked.

There a moment of silence, before Carly spoke once more, not taking her innonce eyes off Freddie. "But… I think it's sweet you feel that way… shows the _love_."

Sam's stomach made a nasty turn at the word love. "No… I loved him once, but know is too late." She mumbled sadly.

But Carly shook her head in disagreement as she took as seat. "No, it's never too late Sam. Not even for _Freddie_."

…

The rest of the day was kind of a blur; Freddie didn't wake up till noon and Dr. Baits explained the whole surgical procedure to them many times, ensuring them it was safe.

He hadn't improved much with his memory, and for Sam, it was hard seeing him that like that. It was hard watching him struggled around the people she loved.

Gibby came today. He was on vacation in Romania with his mother and little brother trying to figure out the tale of Dracula, but Carly and Sam didn't know that until he got back. To them, he just disappeared two weeks ago after they did a vampire skit for iCarly and didn't hear from him until he showed up at Carly's door. Spencer explained what happened and he went to the hospital.

When he walked through those doors the girls smiled.

"Gibby! Where have you been?" Carly asked giving him a hug. Gibby didn't smile he just hugged her back and kept on his serious Gibby face. "I went to Romania."

"Romania?" Sam asked. Gibby nodded. "Uhum…"

"What we're you doing in _Romania_?" Carly asked exaggerating on the Romania part. "I went vampire hunting." One of Sam's eyebrows went up in question, but then she was reminded this was Gibby, and he was an odd-ball of weird.

Gibby continued to nodded until he turned around and saw Freddie. "Hey Fredd-o!" He greeted.

Freddie smiled at him; the boy to him looked strangely familiar. But he swore he'd never seen him before. "Hi." Freddie lifted his unbroken hand up a few inches and waved.

Carly noticed the slight awkwardness in the room and spoke up. "So um Gibby… did Spencer tell you what happened?"

Gibby shook his head. "Nah, only that Sam and Freddie got in an accident and they're at the hospital –he actually took me here."

Carly nodded. "Well, you see Gibby… Freddie kinds lost his memory…" Gibby frowned and rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Oh dude, did you leave that in your locker again?"

A smile appeared on the girls face, and Freddie looked at Gibby in question. "No Gibby, it's not something you can literally misplace… he hit his head and he can't remember anything." Carly explained futher.

Sam turned quickly to Freddie and spoke. "Gibby's like this… he doesn't really _understand_ many things." Freddie nodded. "Uh okay."

"Oh_ memory_!" Gibby realized. Sam rolled her eyes. "Well why didn't you say so?" He continued.

"Hey fruit-bag, we did say that." Sam mumbled. Gibby just looked at her in question. Suddenly a phone went off. Sam reached into her jean pocket and took her cell phone out. "Ugh, it's my mother. I'll be right back." With that she walked back into the hallway.

"Hey _mom_." She almost sounded annoyed. "Well, don't sound so happy to hear from me Sammy." Pam spoke. Sam could almost see her mother rolling her eyes over the phone.

"What do you want mom?" Sam asked in a hurry, ignoring Pam's rude comment. "What are you doing Friday?"

"Nothing… Freddie's getting his collarbone surgery that day." Sam explained. Pam frowned. "Surgery?"

"Yeah, he and i kind got into a car crash a couple days ago –I'm fine but Fredd—" "That's great that your fine! Clear you're schedule for Friday, I'm getting married."

Sam's eye's popped. "Married?!" She choked out. "Yes Sam, it's when two people how really love each other—" "I know what I means mom! Are you out of your freaking mind?!" Sam yelled.

"Sam I've been dating him since May, and I really like the man…" Sam frowned. "What's wrong with him?"

Pam sighed. "Nothing is wrong with him Sammy. He's a decent man… even has his own buissness company."

"Again, what's wrong with him?" She asked. "Sam, don't do this to me. I'm getting married Friday and I want you to be there, you can even bring your preppy brunette friend… hell, bring Freddie!"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Mom he's having surgery, he can't come!"

"Oh that's right he's cripple for the time being…" "—Mom!" Sam shouted. "Okay, that was rude, I apologize. But please come, you're my daughter and Melanie can't make it."

Sam shut her eyes to think for a moment, blocked out the world around her. "Fine, I'll be there."

"Thanks kid, see ya in two days." And with that she hung the phone up, leaving Sam to hear the dial tone loudly in her ear.

…

**So there's gonna be a Puckett wedding, and theres gonna be a lot of things happening there! And Gibby's back! BTW for those of you that didn't know, I was born in Romania, and thought… why not add it into the plot as she back story for Gibby missing? Anyway I hope you liked it! I'm gonna upate soon starting with the wedding and ending with a MAJOR cliff hanger for Freddie! He gonna start to learn a few things soon… SO! Please REVIEW! **

**Give some ideas that can happen with Seddie to add to this story in a review! Thanks for reading!**

**-C**


	10. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten/The Thursday Night ( Part I )**

"What was that about?" Carly asked noticing the blonde walking back in the room with a grumpy expression.

Sam turned to her best friend and spoke. "My mom's getting_ married_." She said in a happily sarcastic tone. "What?" Carly asked choking on the air she just inhaled.

Sam nodded and slumped down in one of the chairs. "Again... what? When?" Carly asked in disbelieve. "Yeah... this Friday, and she expects me to _be there for her_." Sam played with her phone trying not to seem so down.

"Why aren't you happy for your mom Sam?" Freddie asked. Gibby nodded. "Yeah, you should be happy for her!"

Sam sighed and looked at Freddie. "Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and all. But this will be like her third marriage, and she's only been dating the guy since May... It's been like what? Two months? If you remembered, you wouldn't have been asking me why I'm not happy for her."

Carly rolled her eyes. "Actually Sam, I'm on the boys side on this one. You haven't even met the man." She argued. "How can you not like him, if you haven't met him?"

Sam shrugged. "Because I have, my mom only dates one type of man -and they shouldn't even be considered men! They are like immature forty-year-old weirdoes! Remember _Dan the Man_?" She defended herself.

Freddie frowned in confusion. "Who's _Dan the Man?" _He asked slowly. But Carly knew who he was and rolled her eyes once more. "Okay, _he _was a little weird and odd, but not every man your mom has dated has been like Dan the Man!"

"Who's Dan the Man?" Gibby asked as well.

Sam turned her head to Gibby. "Dan the Man is my mom's ex-husband, he demanded everyone call him Dan the _Man_. His actual name was Dan... and well you get the rest."

"What a weirdo..." Gibby spoke in an amused matter. "What if everyone just called me Gibby the man?" He joked clearly not understanding that the reason Sam's mom's ex-husband wanted people to call him that were cause of his name and _man _rhyming_._

Sam mentally face palmed herself. "Gibby, you don't understand... you see-" "Gibby the Man!" Gibby shouted happily cutting her off. "Hey listen it works!"

"Gibby the man!" He yelled in a lower tone. Freddie gave him a questionable amused look. "Is he always like this?" He asked.

"Once again, Gibby doesn't _get_ certain things..." Sam explained. Carly and Freddie nodded as they watched him run down the halls of the hospital shouting "_Gibby the Man!"_

"Oh Gibby..." Carly mumbled.

As Gibby's shouting disappeared further into the hospital, Sam turned to Carly and spoke. "I don't even think I should go..." She mumbled.

Carly shook her head. "No, you're going Sam! Whether you like it or not, I'm making you go, and I'm coming!" Sam sighed. "God sometimes I just wish I didn't have a mom, everything would be so much easier."

Suddenly Carly's confidant look dropped and she looked down at the floor. "Oh Carl's... I'm sorry I-"

"No, don't, I'm fine." Carly defended herself.

Freddie looked at the two girls in question, not understanding what was going on. "I'm not catching on..." He spoke apologetically.

Sam was about to speak, but Carly cut her off. "My mom died a couple years ago..." "I'm sorry..." Freddie spoke wishing he didn't ask in the first place. But Carly shook her head. "No, it's okay..." She sniffed, and looked up at Sam. "Sam you're lucky you have any kind of mother at all."

"I'm sorry Carl's... it's just... she makes me so crazy all the time!" Sam spoke, looking at the ground.

"That's alright... hey and speaking of crazy, where's your mom Freddie?" Carly asked suddenly changing her attitude.

Freddie sighed and relaxed deeper in his sheets. "She's working today, turns out our insurance will only cover 75% of my medical bills since the accident took place outside of Seattle, so she has to pay them off somehow... it sucks... I wish I could help her somehow." He said in a bummed out tone.

Carly looked at the floor in sadness while Sam smirked at Freddie. "What?" He asked in confusion.

"I know how to help." She spoke. One of Freddie's eyebrows rose in question, and Carly looked up from the ground. "Yeah how?"

"Through iCarly."

...

"Freddie's camera isn't here Carl's, are you sure it was in the studio?" Sam asked searching the iCarly studio.

"Not really, check Freddie's place." Carly said on the other line. "Kay, talk to you soon." With that Sam hung the phone up and walked downstairs to the Shay's living room.

She saw Spencer busy away working on a new sculpture. It was in the shape of a giant scotch tape roller, he was working on the back of it, with some wires.

"Hey Spence… what you up to there?" She spoke with caution once she saw him handling electrical wires. "Sup Blondie!" He greeted her; the tone in his voice was playful.

"This is-" "Never call me that again." Sam cut him off hating the nickname he just called her. "Sorry, that's just the first thing that came to mind when I saw you... anyway! This baby right here is our new light source in the hallway upstairs." Spencer explained admiring his work from afar.

Sam nodded in amusement. "The hallway up there is getting a little boring so I thought this would brighten it up! Get it? _Brighten _it up?" He made an attempt at a joke. Sam nodded and smiled at the older male. "Okay... just be careful." She said as she walked out the front door.

Once Sam was in the main hallway she tried Freddie's door, but unfortunately found it locked. She rolled her eyes in annoyance, she couldn't pick the lock, her hair was up in a ponytail and she didn't need the... that's when she remembered something. She quickly extended her hand up to the top frame of the door and felt the small piece of metal brush her finger tips. The_ key._

She smiled at herself in triumph and grabbed it.

Inside was the typical Benson apartment. Nothing had really changed except the fact that it was much quieter than usual, but that was due to the lack of both Freddie and Ms. Benson being there.

And of course T-Bo was busy working the Groovy Smoothie so he wasn't there ranting about his special Jamaican Shampoo.

Sam walked down the hall to the left and opened Freddie's bedroom door. The window was open, revealing to her that Ms. Benson probably came in that morning and let the room air out. Through the open glass Sam could hear the honking of the traffic below and the cool wind brush against her skin softly, giving her goose bumps.

She walked around his room in search of the camera. But she couldn't find it, which was weird cause of its giant size. She continued to walk around the room in gazing at random objects that reflected him.

His bed was neatly made and untouched, which showed her that he had a bit of his mother in him. His bed sheets and pillowcases were the classic _Galaxy Wars. _Sam chuckled at that_. _There was a big desk on a higher platform to her right filled with computers, wires, and gadgets... _nerd stuff_.

Sam walked over to his bed and gently traced the outline of a Galaxy War action figure on the built in shelve above his bed... it was so him, so _Freddie_.

Her eyes met the floor as a wave of sadness over took her. She couldn't believe that he was gone. She missed him so much. He wasn't _literally_ gone, but his sense of personality, of who he is... The guy back at the hospital looked like Freddie, but he didn't act like Freddie…

Sam's eyes then continued to search the room for the camera hoping to find it soon and get out of there as soon as possible. It was too painful to remain there, and be reminded of him, even though every inch of her body and mind wanted to.

She spotted the camera on his dresser slightly covered by a shirt and quickly grabbed it, making a run for it out the door. She didn't want to admit it, but the trip was unexpectedly overwhelming for her.

...

Sam arrived back that hospital within the hour and by then Freddie was halfway asleep, it seemed as if the morphine was going to knock him out pretty soon. But right now it was playing with his mind.

Carly was just chuckling at her best friend, as she continued to talk to him. "Are you really okay Freddie?" Carly asked, knowing she'll only get the truth outta him in the state of mind he was in.

Freddie shook his head. "I'm gonna tell you a secret stranger..." He whispered. Carly nodded. "Tell me a secret..." Carly smiled.

"I'-I don't know what to do... I'm so lost… I'm scared." He exaggerated a bit on the word before continuing to smile at the brunette. Carly's smile suddenly disappeared. "Freddie..." She whimpered, tears forming in her eyes.

"I don't know what to do..." He exclaimed in a slurred state once again. "Freddie all you have to do is get better, okay? I hate seeing you like this bud." She speaks.

Freddie nods. "I didn't mean to upset the pretty girl." He dazed off. Carly frowns. "You didn't upset me Freddie, you could never upset me."

Right then Sam walked in, camera in hand. "Hey Carl's, I got the stuff."

"Yes! Let's do this thing!" His words slurred a bit, as he laughed. Sam looked at him in an amused way. "What's up with him?" She asked.

Carly laughed and smiled up at her. "The morphine is kicking in, let's hurry up before he passes out."

Sam chuckled at him but turned the camera on and put it on its tripod. She connected it with the laptops live stream wirelessly and began.

"Hey yo! This be Carly!" Carly said all funny, she was standing on the right side of Freddie's bed, and Sam on the other. "And this mama right here be Sam!"

"And this is iCarly!" They spoke at the same time.

Freddie smiled in the background he was amused by their character. "Now you're probably wondering, why aren't we in our studio?" Sam asked in question, sticking her face into the camera.

"Well Sam, that's cause Freddie's in the hospital." Their mood suddenly got slightly serious. "Why is Freddie I'm the hospital you ask?" Sam continued.

Carly put her hand on her hips and spoke. "That's cause you and Freddie got in a car crash a couple days ago... It was bad..." Carly said in her informative voice.

"Oh yeah!" Sam acted as if she remembered. "Alright now down to business." Carly said turning the mood the stream back to serious. Sam followed. "So the reason we acted all, you know iCarly right now was cause Freddie lost his memory. There was a slight pause. "Yeah and we're trying to help him regain them, he kinda hit his head in the crash and... you know the rest."

"Anyway, his mom is stuck working instead of taking care of him cause she has to pay 25% of his medical bills." Carly continued.

"Ain't that just _stupid_?" Sam asked all funny. Carly nodded in agreement. "Yeah, and this is where you guys come in. We _seriously_ need your help." "Uhum." Sam nodded back and forth repeatedly.

"Now you don't have to do this. But we really need your help, Send in anything that you don't need any more that has some sort of value, sent money, send a card that describes your favorite iCarly skit or something. These things can all help Freddie!" Carly smiled sweetly at the camera. "The box office you send them too is down below in the description, and thanks. We'll give you guys and update soon."

With that Sam turned the camera off and smiled sadly at Carly. "Now all awe have to do is wait, sound good Freddie?" The girls turned to Freddie in question but what they found was that he was already passed out and sleeping peacefully.

Sam turned to Carly suddenly. "Hey I'm gonna go check up on Spencer and take this stuff back, last time I saw him he was messing around with electrical wires." Sam explained picking up the camera and laptop.

Carly's eyes popped. "You're kidding." She exhaled in disbelieve, but Sam shook her head. "God, when will he ever learn?" Carly chuckled.

"Just make sure he's in one piece." Sam nodded and walked out the door. "Lates."

...

It was a chilly summer day as Sam walked down the windy streets of Seattle. She decided to ditch the bus and talk a walk. She needed some time to think.

Earlier Dr. Baits had said that basically that any object, any photograph, _anything_, can trigger his memories. So she was on a mission. Earlier at the Benson's apartment there were so many things that reminded her of him -of all of them, together. Maybe if she brought some stuff to the hospital he could start to remember. Just _maybe_.

She smiled to herself for a moment just thinking about the _old days, _and she thought about how unreal it felt that the _old days _we're just a couple of days ago. _So much can happen in just a few short nights. _She thought to herself. And it was true. That _night_, the night of the crash, their lives _changed_. Everything changed whether they liked it or not.

Sam sighed and exhaled deeply hoping to clear her head. She wanted Freddie back. And she was going to get him, no matter the cost. She won't give up. Not this time.

...

Once back at Bushwell Sam decided it was best to check up on Spencer first, hoping to find him in one piece and not electrocuted by his previous work with electrical cables. She swung open the door and spoke. "Hey-o!" She shouted.

Spencer turned around. There was a welding tool in his right hand and one of those protective masks on his face. Sam immediately dropped the backpack on the couch and ran to him; taking the welding tool out of his hands.

"God Spencer! Do you remember what happened the last time you used this with cable wires in a sculptor?!" She shouted all annoyed. She was beginning to feel a lot like Carly.

Spencer looked down at the floor in shame. "Yes." He mumbled. "And how did that end?" Sam asked annoyed.

Spencer shrugged. "I burned Traffy." The tone in his voice was beginning to sound like the one of a five-year-old boy. Sam squinted her eyes at him in confusion. "Who's Traffy?" She questioned.

"My giant traffic cone..."

Sam then nodded; understanding that _Traffy _was just the name Spencer named his project. "Yeah, you burned Traffy and a part of your hand! And then it smelled like raw plastic in the apartment for days!" She unplugged the torch.

"No welding!" Then she walked over to the island and grabbed the remaining wires and any dangerous objects that affiliated with electricity. "No lights!"

She grabbed them and stormed out of the apartment. "I'll be back in five minutes Spencer!"

...

Sam placed the torch and wires on Freddie's desk, and took a look around. She dropped the backpack on the ground and sighed.

She had at least a couple hours to kill and find anything that might help Freddie. So she started with the most important thing. His laptop.

...

**So that was kind of filler chapter... hehe... Part II of this chapter will be up in a couple days so keep your eyes out! :) Thanks for reading and leave a review please! I want to know if you guys like it or not... I basically wanna know if I should bother to continue... anyway. I hope you enjoyed and next chapter is soon! Let me know if you have any ideas! I have received one idea that is currently being written (it will be in the next chapter) and it was a great one too! Thanks again and REVIEW :D**

**Love you guys!**


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Chapter Eleven/The Thursday Night ( Part 2 )**

...

"Freddie, Freddie." Carly shook him awake. He moaned lowly but opened his eyes unwillingly. "Hum?" He asked. "Wakey wakey." She chuckled.

Freddie managed a small smile and moaned again. Nausea swept over him like a wave, while his head pounded against his skull. "You guys are really taking this 'wake me up every four hours' seriously hu?" He chuckled as he became more and more aware of his surroundings.

Carly nodded and managed a smile. "You can blame your concussion for that. How you feeling?" She asked noticing his strained face, and the sweat that hid on the corners of his forehead.

He turned his head to the right on his pillow, to further face Carly and exhaled. "No so good." He mumbled. "M-my head hurts... and I feel like there are layered bricks in my chest..." Carly looked down at her lap in remorse and fidgeted with her fingers. "That's cause of your pneumonia... that, and that tube they have on the side of you chest." Carly spoke.

Freddie frowned amusingly. "Ya know, It's funny how you know these things and I don't." He lightly smirked. Carly chuckled, as he rose an eyebrow as much as he could. "I seriously have one of those things in me?" This time his tone became a bit more serious, and Carly could almost sense the panic in his voice.

But she just nodded, confirming his question. "Man, I don't even feel it... then again, I don't feel much of anything..." Carly got off the chair and came closer to him. "Here let me show you," She said in an attempt to calm whatever nerves she thought that might of formed, as gently grabbed his hand and forced his index finger outward, placing it on top of his hospital gown where a bump sprung through.

"Feel that?"

He nodded; feeling the texture of the fresh fabric against his finger tips and the outline of a thick tube. She ran his fingers all the way to the side of his chest where it disappeared under his skin. Freddie managed out a raspy laugh and looked up at Carly. "Okay. Now that's just freaky..." Carly smiled and let go of his hand to sit back down.

"So where's everyone else?" He questioned noticing only him and Carly were in the room. "Spencer's home working on a project... that's how he, he um-manages through tough times like this; art... your mom is working all shifts again today, Gibby is, well is Gibby so he should pop up some time soon... and Sam is... let's just say she's on a _mission_." Carly hinted.

Freddie frowned. "What kind of _mission_?" He found the last part amusing. Carly shrugged. "Don't know, I guess you'll have to just wait and see." "You guys are funny." He said subconsciously, as he sighed himself deeper into the bed. Carly rose an eyebrow and smiled amusingly. "How so?"

Freddie shrugged as far as he could and spoke once more. "I don't know, you guys just- you guys have an interesting way of making things work... like the web-video thing that you guys came up with to help my mom out with finances, all of that... and I _like_ that..." He commented smiling to himself. After he heard himself he realized how weird that came out.

But to his surprise Carly smiled back and nodded. "Yeah... me and Sam have a _different_ way of handling situations, we're just like that. Odd ducks." She chuckled to herself and looked back a him.

She noticed his face was moist as if sweat lingered on the surface, he looked tired, and worn out from all the time he spent aging in the hospital. He looked as if he could barely keep his eyes open at some point... and he was pale -defiantly more pale than the last time she saw him...

"You sure you okay Freddie?" She asked once again, hoping he would tell her the truth so she could help. But he nodded and sighed. "Yeah, I'm _fine_." Carly nodded, not believing him for a moment.

"If you're in pain or anything, that button on the bedside controls the dosage of morphine you get. You know you can use it, right?" She asked. Freddie's nodded once again. "Yeah, I know it's just that I'm- I'm just tried and a little sore, that's all." He denied, shifting his weight on the bed to his other side, but as soon as he did that a striking pain went up his arm and to his shoulder, making his collarbone flame in pain.

"Ahh..." He let out as he tightened his eyes in pain. Carly sat on the edge of her seat as she asked him if he was okay. He answered with a yes as he gripped his broken arm in the sling with his free one.

"Damn it, I forgot." He cussed softly to himself. Carly quickly noticed he was getting much worse as he wasn't letting go of his arm and he was turning constantly trying to avoid the pain, but only making it worse. So she got up and reach over to him. She gently grabbed his good arm and placed her other hand gently on the side of his chest to keep him from rocking.

"Freddie! Hey! Hey listen to me okay?" She pleaded. Freddie slowly started to stop and he stared into her eyes for a quick minute. "Do you want me to press that button? I can press it and, you won't hurt anymore." She said softly as in a other way way.

But Freddie refused. "N-o... I'm fine. I jus-I-I just gotta... I gotta..." He trailed off softly as he slipped into unconsciousness. Carly suddenly panicked as some of the machine started to go off, setting off noises. "Help! I-I need help in here!" Carly screamed outside the door.

This caught a nurses attention and she rushed over to her. "Whats wrong dear?" She asked. Carly turned around and started to shout on a desperate edge. "I-I- I don't know... he just started- he jus-" The nurse ran inside his room and pushed a button on the wall that was close to the door. underneath it, a sign. _Press for Emergency._

By the time Carly had time to turn around more nurses and a couple doctors rushed through the door, running in to aid the him.

...

It was just like a _nightmare_.

The type that constantly repeats in our minds, until we're faced with reality. The type that still scares the very core of you even when you've woken up. The type that sometimes wont let you wake up until its over.

Those moments spent in that waiting room for Carly, were just like a _nightmare_.

A horrible, twisted, sick, _nightmare_.

As she waited, in the waiting room, on that chair, on the most desperate edge possible, the pervious moments repeated in her mind, over and over. Constantly reminding her that her best friend was in danger.

She saw his eyes roll to the back of his head, over and over. She saw him struggle in pain, over and over. And she couldn't _help_. She couldn't help him.

Tears blistered down her torn and worn face, but she didn't care. They stung her cheeks badly -but she didn't care. She was so aroused by those moments, by that nightmare -that she was _numb_.

Sam ran through the hospital doors, alongside Spencer who seemed to have no emotion left in him as he paced towards her. Carly didn't notice them. She didn't even notice the fast pace of the hospital around her. Because her mind was indulged in the nightmare.

"Carly, Carly!" Sam shouted her name, trying to grab her attention. But she couldn't focus -hell she could barely grasp onto reality at this point.

"Carly-!" Sam shouted once more as she shook her best friend back to reality.

Carly closed her eyes for a moment; everything was calm, everything was silent, and non-hectic and so damn complicated as they were in real life. But she knew she would have to open her eyes in a few short seconds. She knew she had to open her eyes back to reality soon.

So she did.

"Y-yeah?"

"What happened?" Sam asked quietly, the urgency and the panic were still there. Carly shrugged. "I-I don't know, he just, h-he jus... he's said it hurt and I, I couldn't do anything..."

Sam noticed the dangerous distance Carly was putting away mentaly and grabbed her in a hug. "It's gonna be fine Carl's -everything will be fine." she repeated over and over, until at some point she was trying to convince herself.

"I mean... its _Freddie_. He's gonna be fine."

...

A little while later Ms. Benson met with them in the waiting room, giving them an update. Freddie was fine, it was just a little scare, he was upstairs asleep and on a better dosage of morphine. The pain had apparently come from the disturbance of a broken rib, nothing major -but defiantly frightening.

The day had passed on and Freddie remained asleep. Some how Sam had convinced Carly to spend the night home, and she now sat across Freddie's bed in a very uncomfortable chair, waiting for the night to be over with.

Today had basically been a set back.

Freddie had his... episode, and Sam had no luck getting through the password on his computer. She had tried nearly everything she could think of to crack it, but failed. After all Freddie was good with computers, not her.

"You've got to stop doing this," Sam exhaled as she took a break from her phone. She looked straight at Freddie who remained unconscious.

"Scaring us like this -I mean, its not fair Freddie. We're trying to help you, but you jus- you just keep -you gotta stop. You gotta stop this, and try..." Her voice broke on speaking the last word and she exhaled deeply, frustrated that she couldn't form out the right words.

Sam was angry, and she was scared. Not the best combination in a case this -or any. She just wanted this nightmare to end. She was sick and tried of running into the same hospital room, worried that he her best friend was gonna die. She was sick and tried of watching Carly deteriorate mentally every time something went wrong. And lastly, she was sick and tired of facing this shell of the former Freddie in front of her.

_Physically_, he was there.

Mentally, he _wasn't_.

"I want you back Benson. This is getting dangerous a-and out of my comfort zone, okay?" She waited for a response, knowing she wasn't going to get one.

"There's this -this game we play, that we've played since we were kids... I mock you, you mock me... and we're cool, a-and It's all good, ya know? But we've stopped playing and I'm-I'm _scared_. B-because we've never really stopped _playing_ before... God, I sound like a lunatic..." She cursed under her breath, even more frustrated than before.

"All I'm asking is, what comes next?" She asked heretically. "I've tried to help by picking apart your room, and going through pictures and what not, but its not helping. Your not remembering _anything_ -and I don't want to give up on you, but I'm a little discouraged here..." She chuckled. "So if you help me out Benson, that would be great." She sighed as she leaned back into her chair before anyone could notice she was talking to an unconscious boy.

"Y-you, and I-I... on the fir-fire escape..." Freddie mumbled out of no where as he slowly opened his eyes halfway and took in a deep breath.

Sam's head snapped in his direction immediately. "W-what did you say?" She asked softly. Her heart began to race unintentionally as she realized what he had just said, meant.

"T-the fire escape? Does that mean a-anything to you?" He asked drowsily, as he closed his eyes to block away the bright lights shinning down on him.

"Y-yeah, it does." She responded in disbelieve.

"You remember that?"

Freddie nodded slowly, but what confused Sam was the frown that formed on his face. "I-I think?" His voice turned raspy all of a sudden and he had to swallow painfully.

Sam suddenly found herself right at his bedside looking over him as if he were to break at any moment. "Stop that." He whispered.

"Stop what?" Sam asked in confusion, she didn't realize she was doing anything to bother him.

"Stop looking at me like that, I'm not a broken china doll." He said. Sam sensed some annoyance in his voice. But she decided to ignore it given the circumstances and nodded. "Sorry." she mumbled.

"It's jus- it's kinda hard to see you like this." She had said that sentence so softly, so innocently, that he could've barely heard her.

Sam quickly realized what had come out of her mouth and she quickly changed subject before things became weird between them. "Are the lights bothering you? I bet they are hu?" She talked rapidly as she made her way towards the switch on the wall near the door. She dimmed them to the point they weren't considered bothering and sat back in her chair.

"Y-your my best friend right?" He questioned timidly. Sam nodded. "Yeah." This gave him the green light to continue, so he proceeded. "So, I can trust you?" It was more of a question then a statement but Sam ignored it and nodded once more.

"You can trust me."

It took him a moment before he continued and Sam wondered what was going on in that head of his; it was a little hard to guess since she could really see much of his face due to the lights being dim.

"Come'ere." His voice was barley was faint whisper.

She frowned for a second, noticing his odd request, but then thought about it and realize that it wasn't really a weird request. It just sounded weird because she wasn't familiar with it. So she got closer until she reached his bedside, and was close enough to see his facial expressions.

"Yeah?"

He gulped and rose his good hand up a little in the air. "Hold my hand." His voice was shaky, and his breaths we're uneven but he managed the sentence. Sam hesitated. She glanced at his hand, then into his eyes, as she quickly accepted what was about to happen. She brought her hand forward and gently wrapped her fingers around his.

As soon as she did this, and instant smile appeared on his face, and he closed his eyes in sweet serendipity. "Thanks." He exhaled.

Sam nodded and while holding on a tight grip on his hand, she turned her body so the her back was temporarily facing him and sat down on the bed next to him. "You don't need to feel alone. I'm here Benson. You hear me? I'm here Freddie."

Freddie's smile widened and he tried to shift over to make some room for her, but couldn't really move she he dropped it. "Don't, I'm fine here Benson." She mumbled referring to him trying to make space for her.

As he closed his eyes to let the peace sink in, Sam took her eyes off him, not bearing to see him like this anymore. She was regretful of this, but not sorry.

...

In the morning when Freddie peeled his eyes open he smiled at the content-full view that surrounded him. The rays from the sun entered through the window, illuminating the room in a golden tint. Sam was asleep, her head and arm on the side of Freddie's bed as she sat down in a chair what was beside his bedside.

Her hand was still holding his, or he was still holding her hand -whichever one it was, he didn't care... because in that moment he was happy. He was happy to have her -whoever she was. And the funny thing was... he didn't know why.

In the mist of all this, he didn't anything about himself, let alone who he was. All he knew was that he had been in a horrific car accident which apparently still give Sam nightmares -as Carly had told him. She also told him, it had gotten to the point where she was envying him, because he couldn't remember it.

To him, all he saw was a tough pretty face who didn't put up with _caca. _But through Carly's words and close examination, he began to see the figure of someone else. This-this scared, insecure girl, who's constantly been running through hell, trying to find a way out.

And he wanted to help her, God he wanted to help her so much! But he didn't know how to. She was, after all, pretty much a stranger to him -momentarily. The neurosurgeon who had operated on his brain earlier had said he could make a full recovery, and remember everything in a couple of days to weeks, or he could not remember a thing for the rest of his life. It was possible, and terrifying.

This was obliviously unsettling for him in many ways, but there was nothing her could do but hope fate would return his memories -and quickly. Because he felt he needed to be there for her. The funny thing was he didn't know why. He didn't know why he longed for her when Carly was with him, he didn't know why he felt so calm when he was with her, he didn't know why he had grown so attached to her... and he wanted to figure out. He wanted to figure it out so badly...

With that in mind he made himself more comfortable in the bed and attempted to settle back into slumber.

"Freddie?" The soft sigh of Sam lips parting caught his attention, and his eyes opened, revealing to her that he was awake.

"Hi," He exhaled and showed off a small smile. Sam managed to return the favor and smiled back.

"Morning."

"Morning,"

"How long have you been awake?" Sam asked giving off a yawn.

'A couple minutes, why?"

Freddie shrugged forgetting about his damaged clavicle. "I don't kno- ahhh." He let out softly in minimal pain. "You okay?" Sam asked there was a sense of urgency laced in her voice.

Freddie arched his head backwards and tightened his eyes, but through all this he nodded, letting Sam know he was okay. "I'm fine, just forgot." He scoffed in a playful way.

After realizing he was okay Sam rolled her eyes. "Don't scare me Benson, I will kill you!" She threatened in a playful matter.

All of a sudden it was like she regained feeling in her hand and she could feel something, warm, and clammy wrapped around it. She quickly looked down on the bed, and above the sheets lay his hand, intwined with hers.

Her eyes widened quickly as she tried not to panic, but in her head she could only see red flares flashing repeatedly. The thing she wanted most in this world in that moment was to retreat her hand and make up something up to why it is she was still holding his hand.

Only she didn't. It was him who ultimately let go.

"Sorry about um, last night." He started as he let her hand go. He didn't dare look her in the eye. "What about?" She asked in confusion. To her, it was one of the first time he had acted like, Freddie. everyday he would slowly and slowly, form back into the boy she fell in love with -into her best friend. The only thing absent was his sense of memory, but that would come back. Sam knew it would.

Sam exhaled deeply as she leaned against the the back of her chair. "Hey, what time is it?" Her voice was unsure, and unsteady -as if she was forgetting something.

Freddie frowned and looked at one of the machine he was hooked up to that had the time. (They were opposite of her direction) "9:23 AM w-why?"

"9:23... 9:23... wasn't I supposed to be somewhere at eight?" She mumbled to herself. Suddenly, it all came back to her. Her mom, Carly, the wedding, her future step-father whom she had not meet. "Freddie... m-my, my mom's wedding." She choked out.

Freddie suddenly realized what she was trying to say. "What time were you supposed to be there?" He asked her as she stood up and quickly gathered her things. Then she quickly pulled her phone out and check it.

_17 messages_

_13 missed calls_

_3 voice mails_

"Crap, crap... oh shiz!" She mumbled repeatedly as she continued to get her things from the room. The her phone suddenly went off ringing, and she answered on the first ring. "Carly? -Yeah, hey! Y-yeah, I-I know... I was with Freddie! I know I shouldn't have spend the night here -you did? ...okay, I'll be right there! Kay -bye."

As Sam hung up on the phone call she found Freddie smirking at her in an amusing way. "What?" She asked, there was a smile she was playing with on her face.

Freddie chuckled and shook his head. "Nothing, go Sam." He said. Sam rolled her eyes, and spoke as she walked towards the door. "See ya Frednerd." She stammer out quickly as she made he way out of the hospital room.

Freddie just watched her go off, like always.

And abruptly without any warning she came running back, an amused look on her face. "I left forgetting about _you_," she said out of breath. Freddie smiled at her in merriment and sighed. "I know, I was devastated. You can tell by the look on my face." He said sarcastically, letting a smile let her know he was joking.

Sam rolled her eyes at him in mirth and spoke. "Of course you were, I mean -it's me.' She mocked him. Freddie chuckled and gave her a small appreciative smile. "Thanks for coming back though." He simply said. Sam nodded, "I couldn't leave without saying good luck Benson."

Then she swiftly bent down and gave him a hug with her broken arm, Freddie tried to lean forward to help her out, but she just pushed him right back down. "Now, your mom will be here working, she'll check on you every four hours, but in the mean time, you'll have Spencer to entertain you for the day. She explained.

Freddie nodded and in the spur of the moment he said; "I like you Sam." He didn't realize what came out of his mouth until he saw the look on Sam's face. "D-did it jus-?" He asked in a bit of shock.

Sam grinned widely and was clearly amused by Freddie's regalement talk. "Y-yeah, you did... I like you too Fedster..."

"Don't die on me, kay?"

Freddie nodded, and snickered. "I'll try my best."

...

**Hi. So I updated, Yes. A very long chapter, yes. Why? I don know? Haha hope you enjoyed and OH MY GOSH! 70 REVIEWS? You guys are awesome! :D**

**Review! :)**

**-C**


	12. Chapter Tweleve

**Chapter 12/The Wedding Spoiler ( Part I )  
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"Do you _feel_ that Sam?" Carly asked in an annoyed almost angered tone, as she stood up staring at at Sam, arms folded.

"What?"Sam asked in a hurry as she hopelessly tried to zip up her dress from behind. "I am mentally slapping you Sam, mentally slapping you -_repeatedly_!" Carly shouted in anger.

"Ughh! Okay, okay! I get it Carl's! Your pissed at me cause I was about to miss my mom's wedding blah blah bah..." Sam trailed off into nonsense. "Just help me zip this stupid damn zipper if I'll make you shut up!" She snapped.

Carly gave in and zipped up the dress on Sam's figure then turned her by the shoulders so that her back faced the large mirror that lay against the wall in the hotel room, and started to fix her hair.

Sam just sat down quietly and let Carly do her '_magic_', though she silently resented her for making her do this, especially on _this_ day.

"How much longer do we have Sam?" Carly asked as she placed another bobby pin to support her lose up-do hair. Sam checked the clock on the wall behind Carly and spoke, "about 20 more minutes... I forgot to ask, did you see my mom? She was supposed to be here like ten minutes ago-"

"She's outside talking to some guy that works at the airport, she doesn't seem happy, -I was tempted to get her to come inside but I had a feeling that if I interrupted her one more time, she would bite me." Carly rambled.

"Why is she talking to someone from the airport?" Sam asked in confusion, then it took her a moment but she speculated on a theory that had been on her mind for days.

"Carls! This is a sign!" She blurted out. "My mom isn't ready to get married again! We have eighteen minutes till the wedding and she isn't even _dressed_!" Sam shouted in annoyance as she stood up and walked away from Carly.

Sam proceeded to walk out the front door in search for her mother and confront her about this so called '_marriage_' she was walking herself into, as Carly chased her down the hall with a hair brush and million's of bobby pins in her hands.

"Sam! Sam! You cant just leave-!" She shouted after her almost as if she was offended. But Sam, being Sam, just ignored her and continued to stalk down the hotel's long open hallway, coming to terms that today was going to be a long, twisted one.

...

"Well Freddie I have spoken to your mother to proceed with the surgery at an earlier time, is that alright with you?" Dr. Baits asked him as she stood over his bed with his chart in her hand, all professional.

Freddie thought for a moment, then frowned. "Do you think it's a good idea to operate earlier?" Honestly, he didn't know what to say, or do. Spencer wasn't much help either, all he would do was stare at Dr. Baits as if she was an amazing extraterrestrial creature with magical healing powers. He had his mouth open, gaping at the very presence of her.

But it didn't seem to bother Dr. Baits, she just didn't acknowledge his strange behavior and proceeded. "Well, I have a free slot open in a few minutes and with the recent lab results I just got back, it seems as though the pain from your recent injuries have inflicted unnecessary pressure on the part of your brain that captures and feels pain, which I am concerned about, _but_ its nothing to be worried about, yet. I say, your best bet is to have the surgery as soon as possible and lower the chances of more brain damage."

It took Freddie a little time to think and weight out his options, but in the end he agreed with Dr. Baits and laid back into his bed to to enjoy those last couple of minutes before they whisked him off to surgery for a couple minutes...

Once Dr. Baits left the room, Spencer seemed to regain the little part of him that was still there, and turned to Freddie who just gave him a _really? _look.

"What? A guy can't look?" Spencer asked, wondering why Freddie was giving him the e look.

"Yeah, a guy can look, but not stare at her like she was some piece of meat Spence!" Freddie chuckled out. Spencer just smiled at him, enjoying him call him by his nickname, just like the old times.

"You just called me Spence..." Spencer realized. Freddie grew a smirk and thought about it for a moment. "Yeah, I did... I-I honestly don't know where that came from." Freddie mumbled.

"I do." Spencer smiled, everyday he was cracking further and further out of his shell and back into the old Spencer, and today was one of those days where he exceeded his limits.

"That came from _you_, you're subconsciously slipping out vocabulary that you used from before the accident Freddie. Even if you don't visually remember the past, you're mind has stored all your pervious vocabulary in your brain." Spencer said, talking like he was very intelligent.

But Freddie didn't know this and came out in the open. "So your an artist _and _closet genius?" He asked, there was a hint of amusement in his voice that told Spencer he was only kidding., but still unsure.

Spencer chuckled and leaned back in his chair. "Im also a closet bird whisperer, and closet clown juggler..." Spencer whispered, his voice was laced with sarcasm that Freddie detected and laughed at.

"I could make you out as a clown juggler, but a bird whisperer? Nah..." Freddie smirked once more.

...

"Mom, mom-" "-Can you give me a moment please Sam?" Pam cut her off as she went back to her conversation on the phone. "Mom!" Sam continued, not giving up. Pam annoyingly rolled her eyes and took the phone way from her ear. "What do you want kid?" She asked. "And make it quick, Mr. Andy here lost the luggage!" She shouted into the phone so the man on the other end could hear her.

Sam stared at her in utter disbelieve. She had not changed at all. "Your wedding is starting in fifteen minutes, and your outside -not even _dressed_, on the phone with some guy from the airport!?v" Sam snapped, hoping to strike some sense back into her mother.

"Do you _want_ to get married today?" She asked in a threatening tone, as she folded her arms. Carly who was behind held fear on her face, she was stuck by shock, in the way Sam was speaking to her mother and how Pam was reacting.

Pam gave Sam the most weirdest look of delusion, and scoffed. "Of course i want to get married! Hello?! Thats why i am on the phone right now!" She argued, trying to make her point, but failing to make Sam understand.

"Im just saying, that maybe this is a sign, is all." Sam said as she backed away. But she really wasn't, it was all part of the act: she would pretend to back off and give her mother a few seconds to think about what she had said till she fired once more.

"A sign of what?" Pam hollered. "A sign that I shouldn't get _married_? Is that what your trying to tell me Sam? Not to get married?" She continued on. At this point Pam was raged, and she rose the phone back to her ear and spoke, calmly and collectively, but the tone in her voice was tense, and strained as she spoke.

"Im gonna put you on hold for a second here Mr. Andrew, and I swear, if you hang up, I will personally make a trip to Seattle Airport on my wedding day, and I will have Ms. Maudie, the petite, lonely woman who made my wedding cake, put a layer of white icing on your disgusting human flesh you call skin and me and my future husband will eat you. Do you hear me? Eat you." She threatened the man.

At this point, every inch in Carly's body was screaming at her to drop all the hair instruments from her hands and run as far away as possible from Pam. She was never really a fan of Pam, she was loud, and nosey, and frightening, and she constantly threatened to eat people in the most disturbing ways... So lets just say Carly didn't want to be there in that moment.

Pam took the phone from her ear once more and looked straight at Sam. "You are going to listen to me Sam. Today, I am getting married. I am walking down that short freaking isle, in that white dress I bought, and I _am _going to get married," Her voice was strained at some points but she was clear.

"Why don't you want me to get married?" She then asked softly. "Do you hate me so much that you dont want to see me happy Sammy?"

This approach caught Sam completely by surprise, but she didn't lower her voice. In fact tears threatened to escape her eyes as she struggled out with the next few sentences. "That's the reason mom! You never stay happy! One minute your together, the next he's packing his things! And I have to clean up after your depressed, moody ass for the next couple of months! I hate seeing you like that mom... and this time I won't be there to pick up the pieces you've left behind... I have enough on my pate to deal with, with Freddie. And I-I cant see you like that mom!"

It took Pam a second to respond to her daughter's lashing out episode and once she did, it wasn't the reaction Sam had expected, She had expected screaming, and possible threats, but not this.

Pam suddenly just reached out and wrapped her arms around her daughter. Sam didn't understand what her mother was trying to do so while she saw her mom's hand come towards her she tensed.

"You never have to worry about that Sam, I promise he's the one." Pam whispered, then she let go of her daughter and looked her straight in the eyes. "You will never see me like that, okay? Ever again. I won't let it happen." Pam promised sincerely. Sam just gave her mother a weird look and nodded. She had almost never seen her mother like this; so supportive and... _motherly_. It was strange.

"O-okay..? Sam exhaled. "But you gotta come up with us mom, your not even dressed. Pam smiled, realizing that in some way she just earned her daughter's approval, so she nodded and followed the girls back to the hotel room completely forgetting about her pervious phone call.

"Prissy, your doing my hair." She barked at Carly to show them that she had transformed back into her old self. Sam just rolled her eyes as they walked and nudged Carly in the arm with her elbow.

...

"Okay Freddie we're ready for you." Dr. Baits said clearly as she walked into his room. Freddie nodded. "C-can you give me a minute?" Dr. Baits smiled down at him and gave him a sure nod.

There saw something he wanted to get off his chest, ever since Sam had walked out of that door in the morning. Only now had it occurred to him that he wasn't too late, that he could still tell her before he went into surgery.

He quickly turned his head towards Spencer and spoke. "Hey can I-I use your phone? It's kind of important." Spencer gave him an odd look but handed him the phone in approval. "Yeah, here."

Freddie took it in his good hand and maneuvered through the contacts on Spencer's phone, looking under "S". When he finally found her contact he dialed her number and prayed she wouldn't pick it up. And she didn't, the call went directly to voice mail, indicating that her phone was off.

"Hey, I just wanted to get something before I get hauled off here..."

...

Just as Carly finished the last touches of Pam's hair, Sam walked back in the hotel room. "So, everyones waiting for you mom." She announced. It was moment of truth time, time to watch her mom walk down once more. "When your ready, _if _your ready." Sam let out, mumbling the last part.

"What was that?" Pam caught on. But she didn't make a big deal out of it, sensing that Sam only said that to keep her dignity. Sam gave her a fake smile, hoping Pam didn't detect it and swore it was "_Nothing_."

"Alright kid, moment of truth, if you screwed my hair over, the giant feast we ordered for tonight wont be needed." Pam exhaled as she got off the chair and took a closer look at herself in the mirror.

And once she got off that chair and walked over to the mirror, Sam saw it as an opportunity to study her. To her, It was as if she was a while new person; Pam was tall for the era she grew up in, which gave her the advantage in this era, where she "_wore the hell out of her dress"; _to put it in her own words.

Her dress was simple, short the knee's, but fun. And defiantly not _soft_. For _soft,_ was not the word to describe Pam Puckett at all.

Carly had stylized her hair which added volume and more _bounce _to it as she moved, it was more fun that way, more free spirited just like Pam. But it wasn't really how her mother looked dressed up in these fancy clothes and combed hair, the thing that really got to Sam was that she actually got _dressed_ in the first place.

She knew her mother wasn't a big fan of weddings, hell, her pervious wedding were often celebrated in a t-shirt and jeans at the local chapel, washed down with a bottle of beer. _None _of Pam's weddings had ever been so formal before. Which kinda gave Sam a sign that she was wrong. Maybe her unhappy, miserable mom finally found someone. Which lead to her thinking she had a chance, maybe she had a chance to be as happy as Pam, maybe one day her prince charming would ride in -who know's, he just might be around the corner... but it didn't matter _when_, it mattered _if_. And this whole wedding just proved to her that it is possible -hell was she standing in the middle of the proof.

What more could she ask for?

"Looks good kid, good job." Pam rewarded Carly as she ruffled her hair; she was pleased, and in that moment. Thats all she cared about.

"Alright, let go have us a wedding..." Pam mumbled as she walked towards the door.

...

"Alright Freddie, this is it, okay?" Dr. Baits said through the mask that wrapped around the lower half of her face down at Freddie who lay on the operating table moments from being pulled under.

Freddie smiled, trying to hide away the nervousness, and modded. "Okay, now I just want you to relax, take a deep breath and count down from seven, can you do that?" Dr. Baits asked softly but clearly as if she was talking to a child. The truth behind talking to patients like that before they undergo a surgical procedure was to make them feel safe, and clam. Well, that's what Freddie thought right before he took a deep breath, and started to count down from seven just as the doctor had told him to.

"Seven," He exhaled. He took his eyes off the group of surgeons around him, the dim OR room apart from the florescent light shining brightly down on him, and the blue surgical sheets, and let his eyes rest on the plain ceiling above him, hoping to find some comfort there.

"Six," He continued.

"Five," Suddenly when he got to this number he voice changed subconsciously, it was almost as if there was another person inside of him taking control. Not only did his voice change to a more enthusiastic tone, but the rhythm, the pace of his voice speed up as well.

"Four... three..." It was strangely familiar, but yet still very unsettling about the sudden change. He felt as if he'd done this a million times -who knows maybe he _has_... but for some reason he couldn't fight that strong sense of deja vu off.

"Two..." He let out once more, before a figure above him placed a breathing mask full of anesthetic and literally took his breath away.

His lips formed the last number, _one, _but he couldn't bring himself to say the word because he was suddenly distracted by how heavy his eye's were getting, and how far away everyone seemed... it was almost like a dream...

...

**There it is! Chapter 12! :) Yay! Anyway hope you liked it! Chapter 13 is in the making. Leave a review so I know what you thought about the chapter! :)**** HAPPY READING!  
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**-C**


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Chapter Thirteen/The Wedding Spoiler ( Part II )**

"Okay, okay, places everyone!" The event planner shouted in a polite quiet manner, if that were possible. Everyone in the small wedding party basically found their partner's and formed their well spaced out assembly line.

Carly raced to find the groom's son Kyle, as he was called and then got in the front. They laced arms and made small talk to pass the quick time, but Kyle was more interested in getting the whole thing over with more than anything, and barely put in any effort.

Sam walked to the very end of the small three pairs that was, the wedding party, and found her partner, a forty year old grown man, which she guessed was the groom's best friend. From then she did what the planner had told them and laced arms. "Hi, I'm Derek, you must be Pam's daughter, Sam?" He asked. Sam gave him a small almost fake smile but nodded. "Yeah, that's me." She said dryly.

She couldn't decided if she was more creeped out that she had to walk down the aisle with this man, or that he knew who she was. "You are?"

"Like I said, Derek, Mark's best friend." He spoke once again. "So his name is Mark, hu? I never thought my mom would go for a guy named _Mark_." She mumbled as if that was the weirdest thing she's ever heard.

"Why's that?" "-never mind, just -is he a good guy?" She questioned in a protective matter. Derek frowned but nodded. "Mark's the best guy I know."

"Good."

"Alright people, and we, are... starting!" The planner said in a hushed tone just as the music started to play.

Sam watched as Carly walked down the aisle, with Kyle, her future brother in law apparently, and as she did, she swore she could hear her mother's angered voice in the background of the ridiculous romantic harmony playing.

So she turned around and saw Pam freaking out behind her, then realized the guy in front of her, had no partner.

Sam gave her mother a panicked look. And Pam returned the favor and then mumbled. "Where the hell is she?" But Sam caught it and frowned, she honestly had no idea who had to be in front of her.

Until she saw her mother's face of relief, and heard that annoyingly familiar voice behind her, she turned back once more to come face to face with the one thing she dreaded most in this world.

"I'm here! I'm here!" The girl panted as she got in line. "Oh, hey sis." She put on a wide grin as she rushed to give her a quick hug.

"M-Melanie?" Sam choked out not believe who stood before her.

...

Once the short wedding ceremony was over, everyone rushed off to the reception in the twin ballroom of the hotel for the reception. This was a relief to Sam, who, during the whole ceremony was filled with only anger, annoyance, and utter hatred for her twin sister, but obviously couldn't say anything.

And maybe it was a good idea to have waited for the ceremony to end, because while her mother's so called _love_ danced around the hearts of everyone in the audience, Sam spent it trying to formulate the fastest way she could possibly get back to the hospital as her anger continued to grow.

And as soon as Sam spotted her mother and sister, she stalked towards where they were talking, in anger, while Carly tried to aimlessly to pull her back from making the situation even worse.

"What is _she_ doing here mom?" She demanded in a tone, as if Melanie wasn't standing there. Pam crossed her arms and smiled, not realizing how upset her daughter really was. "Look, your sister had a last minute change of plans, and she made it!"

"Isn't that great?!" Pam continued, she was honestly confused in my her daughter was so pissed off, to use the correct form of words.

Sam's frown deepened then opened her mouth to speak once more only to be interrupted by Melanie. "It's true, the board of directors at my school canceled our field trip to England-"

"-No one was talking to you," Sam growled, she wanted nothing to do with Melanie in that moment. It wasn't Melanie she was really mad at, it was her mother. "S-Sam come on, your making it worse-" "-Carly, back off for a minute, I have a point here." Sam defended herself.

She then turned to her mother, with her murderous frown and spoke once more. "When, were you going to tell me that she was coming?!" Sam demanded the answer, she was outrageously furious at that point.

Pam took a drink from her champagne glass and rolled her eyes in annoyance at her daughter. "I guess it slipped my mind." She said in a teasing matter, as she shrugged.

"Slipped you mind?! Slipped your mind mom?!" Sam began to shout. "—Okay why does it matter if I'm here Sam? You're my sister-" Melanie butt in, trying to defend herself.

"It _matters_ Melanie! It does! You may think that I'm doing this because I really hate you, and right now I'm starting to, but it's not that. And it _does_ matter." Sam then quickly turned from her sister to her mother and started once again in a more calming matter. She had the sense she was causing a scene in the corner and people were beginning to watch, which was the _last_ thing she wanted.

"You said, the reason you needed me to come was because Melanie couldn't make it, so I _had _to come to represent your family! I had to come because whether I like it or not, you're my family. And now, she's here. And you _knew_ that mom, you _knew_ she was coming and you _lied_ to me-"

"-I still don't see why you're making a big deal out of this Sam." Melanie cut her off once more. "Will you shut your annoying trap for once?!" Sam snapped at her sister. Carly then nudged her in the elbow, a small warning that she should stop.

"Mom, I was supposed to be with _Freddie_ right now. I am supposed to be here, holding his hand, and helping him get through this. But instead I'm _here_, at this fancy wedding watching my mother get married to another man she'll sooner or later divorce. _Wasting my time_."

"W-wait, what's wrong with Freddie?" Melanie asked quickly, and in confusion. This time it was Carly who nudged her elbow and told her to stop talking. Sam's head turned to acknowledge her question, but she refused to answer it.

"I'm not supposed to be here mom, Freddie's going into surgery today, and instead of being there, like I promised him I would; I'm _here_. And _here_, I'm not needed." Her voice broke. She was starting to get emotional when she talked about Freddie, and when she realized what came out her mouth, it all became _real_.

"Now," She took a deep breath and gulped. "I'm going to get out of this dress, and go back to the hospital where I should've been in the first place." Sam whispered then walked away, out of the reception area and back to the hotel room they had changed in a little while ago.

This time, not even Carly followed her out.

...

"Sam?" Carly asked, knocking on the hotel door.

"Go away Carly! –jus –go away." Sam growled through the door. "I'm not leaving Sam, open the door!"

"Make me!" Sam shouted back in anger. It wasn't like she was mad at Carly, she wasn't, but she was mad, boy, was she furious. "I have a key Sam, I'm coming in!" Carly warned her.

But Sam was too preoccupied struggling to unzip her dress to notice Carly barging in. "Sam what are you do-?" The brunette asked in confusion. "Trying to unzip this torture device-!" Sam retorted.

Carly rolled her eyes and turned her around to face her. "No, I mean what are you doing? Why did you just do that!?" She asked softly, referring to Sam's pervious out break with her mother in the hall.

"Why did I jus-are you serious? Are you freaking serious right now?! You're taking their side!?" She shouted in utter shock, as she tried to break free of Carly's grasp.

"No! Of cour-I'm not taking anyone's side here but yours! And you have to understand that you can't be by side his 99% of the time! Look, even if you were there, there wouldn't be anything you could've done to help him-"

"-yes there would have been! I would've been there Carl's! If something happens to him and I'm not there..." He voice unexpectedly broke as she tried to convince Carly.

"Sam it wouldn't make a difference... Freddie's not... _Freddie _right now, he doesn't know us –you..." Carly tried to reason as she directed Sam towards the bed. There they both sat and continued talking.

"That doesn't matter, okay? I _know him_... Or knew him -I don't know... But he is my best friend –he's more than that and I-" Sam continued on.

"Sam, I understand, okay? He's my best friend too. And I know, it hurts to see him like this, but we can't do anything about it; at least not right now."

Sam looked up at Carly, realizing the words that came out of her mouth were true. There was nothing she could do to help him but remain calm, and sane. "Okay... what now?" She asked kinda awkwardly.

"Now, we get up and go back to the party. I won't make you dance but you at least have to have a conversation with your new step-father and son, deal?" Carly asked, she pulled on a slight smile for her sake and helped her get off the bed.

"Oh, would you mind mentioning that I'm pretty or something, when you talk to Kyle?" Carly asked in a hopeful tone. Sam looked up at the desperate brunette and smirked. "Moma is not doing any dirty work tonight, sorry." She played off a joke as they made their way out of the hotel room.

...

There was a stillness in the OR was suddenly interrupted as the body on the table jerked upwards violently. Dr. Baits quickly removed her hands from the open surgical area and shouted at the interns to do the same. Her mind suddenly went blank in horror.

"He's having multiple grand mall seizures! Now how do you want to proceed?! …Dr. Baits, are you listening to me!?" The nurse asked in worry, she seemed a world away to the young surgen.

"Ugh, just give me minute—" "He doesn't have minute Dr. Baits!" The surgical nurse continued to push the doctor, warning her that time was not for them in this situation, they had to act impulsively.

"He's got diazepam. 2mg morazopam. I just gave a second dose. Dr. Baits you need to tell us what you want to do!" Dr. Baits took a quick second to clear her head but it wasn't working, she thought of every possible way to help him, every type of other drug and sedatives ran though her mind, but nothing was getting though. "Shit, shit!" She mumbled. "Why is this happening!? –what the hell? –someone page neuro in here before this kid flat lines stat!"

As the rest of the of the surgical nursing staff tried to hold an unconscious Freddie still, one of them ran to the other end of the OR and paged the head of neurology; Dr. Owens.

Dr. Baits just stood there paraylized, gloves soaked in the young boys hands. For the first time in a long time she felt F.I.N.E, freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional… Her brain was on shut down in the worst possible moment, when the life of an eighteen year old innocent kid lay in her hands.

"O-okay, He's full on the Morazopam?" She reassured with the prissiest nurse. "He's had 4mg."

"A-and you paged Dr. Owens?" Dr. Baits said in order to get her brain to start functioning properly. Dr. Baits identified as Mary Shaw, she would remind herself to thank her later.

"The Morazopam is not working!" Nurse Shaw shouted after a couple of seconds, noticing Freddie's blood pressure spiked, as he continued to thrash around.

"Phenobarbital! Load him with Phenobarbital!" Dr. Baits cried as soon as if came to her head. Nurse Shaw quickly ran over to the wall of cabinets and located a syringe and a bottle of Phenobarbital, then inserted it into Freddie's IV.

"Pheno's in." Mary mumbled, watching the kid intensively. "Damn it-! No change." Another nurse commented.

"Are you sure paged Dr. Owens?!" Dr. Baits asked once again in panic, there was nothing she could do, she was a general surgeon, not a neurology major.

"I just told you Andrea! He should be here!" Nurse Shaw shouted to clear things up.

"Well page him again! Stat!" Dr. Baits ordered. She was beginning to lose it again… _This kid has seconds. _She thought in her mind.

"What do you wanna do?! Dr. Baits you need to tell us what you wanna do!—"

_beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep _

Suddenly Freddie's body went limp to the operating table and the nurses let go of him. "Heart's stopped! Get a crash kart in here!" Nurse Shaw yelled at the rest of the nurses, then two of them ran to where the kart was and with the help of Dr. Baits rolled it back to the area.

"Code blue! Code blue! … Code blue! Code blue!" Another nurse wouldn't stop shouting as if everyone in the room wasn't aware of what was going on.

Dr. Baits got a handle on the electrical paddles and instructed the nurses to take their hands off him. "Charge paddles to 200!"

"Charged!"

"Clear!" Andrea Baits pushed the paddles to Freddie's chest, his body jerked upwards violently once, and unfortunately that was the only response.

_beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep_

"Still V-FIB, Nothing! Damn!" Mary shouted in disaponitment. "Charging, 19 seconds." She continued after giving Dr. Baits the information needed to start another round.

"Charge them to 300!"

"300." Mary stated after a quick second.

_"Clear!" Dr. Baits shocked him again, at this point for her, there was not stopping._

"27 seconds!"

"Charge them to 360!" Andrea yelled again after the second try and nothing. "Come on Freddie, don't do this to me. Come on!" Andrea Baits shouted at her young patient.

"49 seconds." Nurse Shaw informs Dr. Baits. _We only have 60 seconds before—_

"It's 60 seconds! You're supposed to call time of death Dr. Baits protocol—" "I know what protocol says Mary, but this kids not dying! –not today!" Dr. Baits shouted, tightening the grip on the electric paddles.

"Charge again!" Andrea yells at Nurse Shaw. _At this time all the nurses stop what they're doing, and stare at the panicked doctor holding the paddles in her blood soaked gloves. "_Charge again!" Dr. Baits ordered.

Mary fires the paddles again, then Andrea shocks the eighteen year old once more.

"Anything?" Nurse Shaw asks, she can't take her eyes off the boy on the table in fear he might have just lost his life…

"Nothing..." Dr. Baits exhales completely exhausted.

"Charge again!" Andrea shouted getting ready as she positioned the paddled right above the boy's chest. The nurses didn't do anything, they continued to stare at her as if she lost her mind. "I am not losing this kid! Do you hear me! No charge again before I kick you out of my OR Nurse Shaw!" Dr. Baits yelled at Mary.

Mary took a moment then hit the button on the machine. "Clear!" Andrea yelled...

The flat line remained on the monitor, Dr. Baits heart sank... "No change... _come on_ Freddie, god damn it come on!" Andrea shouted in frustration. Then she turned around and let herself clam down, she was acting unprofessionally.

"106 seconds." A nurse mumble. "God damn it!" Dr. Baits turned around a took in a breath of much needed air as she faced the flatline. "T-Time of dea-"

"Hold on oh my go-!" Mary shouted. The OR room was dead silent.

_beep... beep... beep, beep, beep, beepp_

"…I see sinus rhythm!" Another nurse shouted in joy. Dr. Baits breathes in a well deserved breath and a few tears escape her eyes. _She just saved his life. _She was usually never so unprofessional with patient and never got emotional over deaths in the OR, but there was something about this kid -maybe it was cause she knew his mom... but she's never acted that way in the OR, and definitely not in front of all the nurses._  
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"Blood pressure is coming up people!" Mary commented.

"Pressure's returning!" A nurse in the background added with a smile.

"Rate's coming back... we did it!" Andrea exhales in relief.

Suddenly the OR door swings open and Dr. Owens runs in_. _"What the hell happened!?" He asked.

"He had several grand mall seizures, was unresponsive to Morazopam, as well as Phenobarbital… his heart stopped, but we're back in sinus."

"Okay, here's what where going to do, Dr. Baits you finish up your surgery, he seems stable enough to withstand it at the moment, have someone page me after your done. I'll have my interns take him up to runs some tests, but for now, do you have his most recent lab results?" Dr. Owens asked, he was almost as a leader, the way he directed what he wanted to happen next.

"Here," Andrea handed the folder with his tests. "I'll take a look at this and get back to you soon, okay?"

…

**Part three coming soon! Keep the reviews coming! OMG almost 100 reviews! Eppp!**

**-C**


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Chapter 14/In This Ungodly Hour**

_ring_

_ring_

_rin_—"Hello?"

"Hey Carl's," Spencer exhaled in dread. "So, uh… Freddie made it out of surgery a couple minutes ago –actually like twenty minutes ago, i-it just took a while to understand what was going on?" He mumbled to himself.

"Well, what happened?" Carly asked quickly, she could sense the tone in her bothers voice. It wasn't good news. So she was waiting for him to quickly let it all out, because the longer he dragged this on; the more painful it will become.

'T-they're not exactly s-sure…" He struggled out realizing how ridiculous it sounded when he heard it. "I-I don't understand Spence, what do you mean? –What's going on?" She almost shouted into her phone in confusion as she made her way out of the reception area and outside into the rainy weather.

Outdoors she was met with the typical Seattle weather with an extra kick; harsh winds mixed with rain and the overcastting shadows of the dark clouds above hiding the sun's warmth from the city. It seemed as if a storm was headed their way.

"I don't really know kiddo, they told me there were some complications during surgery with his brain function, and then their words just kept getting larger and more complicated that I couldn't understand anything they were saying… h-he's fine for now, he's in the recovery unit with his mom –he hasn't woken up ye—"

"And they don't know what's wrong with him? What kind of doctors are they?!—" Carly yelled through the phone completely ballistic. She was beginning to sound a lot like Sam so she took a second to clam herself down. "Yeah –all his tests are clean."

"O-okay…" Carly took a moment to absorb all this information, whiling taking in a breath. "So, what are you saying?"

Spencer sighed, he knew what he had to say next and he hated it. "I'm saying; you and Sam should get back as soon as possible." This time the tone in his voice went undetected and for once Carly couldn't tell how her brother was feeling, though she had a strong guess.

"Oh god _Sam_ –how am I gonna explain this to her?" Carly mumbled in realization. "W-we'll be there soon Spence."

…

Sam sat down in her seat at the table with many elegant decoratives, and looked through her phone in boredom.

_One unheard voicemail from: Spencahh Shay_

Sam immediately frowned as she pushed down on the button to listen to the message. Her heart began to speed up and her breath was shortening. _What if something happened and I didn't answer? Shizz, it was timed hours ago! Oh god—what if Freddie has a tag on his toe by now?!_ These thoughts ran through her head as she pressed her phone to her ear.

_You have, one unheard message. Press one to listen to message, Press 2 to ignore the message, Press 3 to—"_Sam! Sam, hey!" Carly shouted as she ran to her best friend.

As Sam's attention shifted to her brunette friend she closed her phone and dropped her gaze, completely forgetting about the voicemail. Carly had tears running down her face, puffy and red eye's, shaky voice…

_It could only mean one thing… I was right…_

"Sam," She sniffed as she sat down in the empty chair next to her. "What happened? –What's going on Carl's?" The blonde demanded the answer though she thought she already knew.

"I-is h-he –is he—?" But Carly didn't hear her and cut her off. "I talk to S-Spencer, he said there were co-complications during the surgery! I—They don't know what's going on with h-him…" Carly cried.

"But he's alive?" Sam exhaled sharply not realizing she was holding a breath in. Carly stopped trailing off and looked her in the eye. "Of course he's alive!" She cried.

Sam couldn't help but smile. Sure, what Carly had told her was terrible, but not as terrible as what she had though happened. Her heart finally slowed down and her breathes turned back to normal.

"W-Why you smiling?" Carly sniffed noticing Sam looked relieved—happy almost. "Don't worry 'bout it." Sam quickly said as she whipped off her smile and replaced it with a frown of confusion.

"I guess that's why Spencer left me a message… come on let's get out of here Carl's." Sam mumbled the first part before helping her best friend up on her feet. But Carly shook her head. "We can't…"

Sam gave her a look. "Yeah we can, we have legs to walk to a taxi… so it can take us to Seattle Med… Oh and _moma_ doesn't have any _mula _on her so… I hope you do." Sam trailed off wondering what had gotten Carly into such a mess. I mean, Freddie was alive… that's all that really mattered. She knew that everything else was just a bump in the road they would have to cross eventually.

"No, Sam there's a storm out there… I tried to haul a taxi but there are barely any cars on the road… we're stuck here…" She whispered in disappointment.

"Shizz, uhh… okay, I mean it's like thirty something blocks from here right? Uhh well, we _could _walk?" The blonde suggested wearily.

Carly shook her head. "Do you see what I look like Sam? Soaked in so much rain from a six minute phone call I had with my brother –we are not walking. Not an option." Carly stated firmly.

Sam huffed and lazily slumped back into her chair. "Shizz," She breathed out, groaning. Carly did the same, as they weight out their transportation options.

"I know where you can get a ride." A new voice entered their non-existing conversation. The girls head's snapped to where they heard his voice coming from. Behind them sat Kyle, Sam's new step-brother.

"Where?" Sam asked in confusion.

"I'll give you one, I drove here so," He shrugged letting them figure out the rest. Carly looked to Sam quickly, both girls shared a short telepathic conversation.

…

" Oh, uh Dr. Owens. Just one moment um… in the accident, Freddie hit his head…" Dr. Baits explained trying to prove a point.

"I'm aware, it caused massive damage to his temporal lobe and gave him a pretty serious concussion." Dr. Owens stated in a tone which told Dr. Baits to get to her point quicker.

"Okay… well his concussion I'm sure, has given him headaches, but he complains of no neck pain, and except for the damage to his temporal lobe, his CT scans are clean..." Dr. Baits continued. At this point Dr. Owens instructed her to talk with him as he attempted to check on his other patients.

"Where you going with this Baits?" He asked in confusion, as he looked over a chart and signed off on it.

"Uh, there's _no_ medical proof of an aneurysm." Andrea said, trying to speed her process of explaining so she could get to her theory, all while trying to not leaving anything out.

"Right." Dr. Owens commented. He was starting to question his fellow doctor's social abilities. "But what if he has an aneurysm anyway?" Andrea said trying to keep up with his rapid pace.

This made Dr. Owens abruptly stop in his way and turn to face the young doctor. "There are no indicators." He stated, after a moment of thought.

"Yeah, but he hit his head on the driver's side window and smashed it open Dr. Owens, now tell me that that doesn't take a lot of force." She continued to fight.

Dr. Owens sighed and exhaled. "Look I'm sure you're trying to help here but I'm not following you…" Dr. Baits didn't hesitate to explain one more time and she opened her mouth to speak. "He hit his head Dr. Owens. Think about it."

"When he arrived at the ER we waved off any scans or tests because he had an _open head_ traumatic brain injury, and needed immediate surgery. And after the surgery we were so focused on the damaged part of the brain that we didn't bother check the rest. But he hit his head, he hit his head and broken a car window." Andrea reasoned, trying to help him understand what she was getting to without annoying him any further.

"You know what the chances are that we missed something like this and that it can burst into an aneurysm? One in a million! Literally." Dr. Owens asked as a smile crept to his face. Dr. Baits just continued to stand there until he made up his mind.

"Alright, order an Angiogram, let's find out if he's one in a million."

…

"So, who's this Freddie person anyway?" Kyle asked watching the wet slippery road as he drove carefully.

"What, you've never heard of iCarly?" Sam commented from the backseat. She knew Carly had some sort of _thing_ with him and let her sit shotgun.

Kyle shrugged. "Might of, not really sure, I was a busy child."

"Okay then, never mind—" Sam rudely mumbled and as soon as Carly comprehended what she said she cut her off. "He's our best friend, we've known him since we were in grade school." Carly said shooting Sam a look from the front.

"Ah, I thought he was one of your guy's boyfriends or lovers or—something…" Kyle spoke. It was almost as if he didn't have a filter on his brain; like he didn't think about anything before saying it out loud.

Suddenly the car's atmosphere was stuffed with awkwardness as both girls refused to comment on what just came out of his mouth.

"What?" He asked with a smirk. "Ohhhh, don't tell me…" He realized. "You both dated him hu?" Kyle guessed correctly.

And after another handful of silent seconds he spoke once more. "I'll take that as a yes… so, why's he in the hospital? Kid eat a bad churro or something?" Kyle asked trying to lighten the mood in the car.

Sam's gaze dropped and she looked as if she wanted to pound his head right there and then while he was operating a moving vehicle. But Carly shot her blonde friend another warning look and Sam backed off. She didn't get he was just trying to lighten the mood.

"N-no," Carly exhaled. "Actually, he and Sam were in car accident," The brunette had trouble explaining.

"Oh, well that explains the cast." Kyle mentioned.

Sam's eyes looked down to the purple cast on her arm. "Yeah, I was the lucky one." She mumbled hoping htehy didn't hear her, but they did.

"So, is he going to be alright?" Kyle asked, his eye's never leaving the road in from of them, he could see Seattle Med a block away.

Sam glanced at Carly then turned her gaze on her cast, which as of the moment was the most interesting thing. "Uh," Carly began. "They're not sure." As soon as that sentence escaped her mouth it shocked her how real it all became.

Kyle nodded. "I'm sorry to hear that." He commented turning into the hospital parking lot. "Me too," Carly mumbled, her voice breaking. "He just seems to be getting worse." She added.

Kyle didn't say anything else, he respected her comment by his silence while he parked the car.

"I-I'm sorry I shouldn't be—" Carly said as she unblocked her seatbelt. "Don't worry, I've been there." He said. Carly smiled.

Sam unbuckled her seatbelt and did the same. Carly attempted to get out, but stopped as she saw from the corner of her eye that Kyle was getting ready to get out as well. "Wait… you're coming with us?" She asked in confusion.

"Nah, I just have a few friends here. It's been a while." Kyle commented while Sam and Carly had no idea what he was talking about.

…

As Dr. Owens sat hunched over the small monitor screen in the testing room, waiting on the results of the screening, Dr. Baits sat next to him; not daring to take her eyes off of the teenager who laid so deathingly still it scared her.

"Oh my god…" Dr. Owens commented; the results had come up.

"There it is." He said slowly, still having a hard time believing what was right in front of his eyes.

"It's tiny—no, that's too big, it's diminutive, but it's defiantly there..._" Dr. Baits' attention then snapped to the monitor as Dr. Owens made room for her to observe. _ "It's a sub-arachnoid hemorrhage. He's bleeding into his brain…"

_This time Dr. Owens stood up and looked behind the glass window that separated the observation room and the screening room; gazing at Freddie in a pleased matter. They finally figured what was wrong with this kid. _

"He could've gone throughout his life without it ever being a problem." Dr. Owens commented, not taking his eyes off Freddie.

"I know." Andrea replied as she studied his brain in search of any other complications, they might of missed.

"One tap in the right spot, one accident…" Dr. Owens continued.

"And _boom_." Dr. Baits said subconsciously –she was way too focused to really comprehend the conversation her fellow doctor was trying to have.

"Exactly. Now I get to fix it. Great job, newbie. I just have find to his mom and let her know we need to perform another surgery." Dr. Owens explained as he grabbed Freddie's medical file and walked toward the door.

_…_

_"Ms. Benson," Dr. Owens started. He stood at the side of Freddie's bed in the recovery room and looked his patient's mother in the eye. Ms. Benson dropped her gaze of her son and looked Dr. Owens in the eye._

_"Y-yes?" Her voice broke; she could barely keep it together, much less talk. Dr. Owens quickly grabbed a seat and sat next to her. "We found it, we found what's wrong." He exhaled._

_Ms. Benson's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. "Wha—really?" Tears formed in her tired abused eyes. Dr. Owen's nodded. "Really," He smiled slightly. "_It's a sub-arachnoid hemorrhage—"

"—He's bleeding into his brain?" Ms. Benson exclaimed in a horrific tone. Dr. Owens nodded. "Yes, but—there is no need to panic Ms. Benson, it's very small, I can fix it in one surgery."

Ms. Benson nodded, understanding the danger of this situation. "O-okay, wh-when are you planning to operate?" She asked. Dr. Owens smiled. "Well, that's why I came here for; I have a spot tomorrow morning, at 5am."

"Great," Marisa sniffed.

Dr. Owens nodded, and placed his hand on her knee as a sign of support. "It's almost over Marisa." He tried to comfort her.

As Dr. Owens walked out of the room Marisa looked at her unconscious son and nodded, whipping her tears away. "Did you hear that Freddie? It's almost over." She whispered as she stroked the side of his face; a concerned, motherly gesture.

…

"Ms. Benson?" Carly spoke, as everyone walked into Freddie's room. He had been rolled back to his old room. Ms. Benson let go of her son's hand and watch the girls as they entered. "Hello girls." She exhaled and whipped her tears away, replacing them with a fake smile for their sake.

"So h-how is he?" Sam asked in slight panic noticing the ventilator tube that was placed back down his throat, only thinking of the worst. Marisa grabbed Freddie's hand again and exhaled. "He has what they call a sub-arachoid hemorrhage… he's bleeding into his brain." She whispered the last part.

"So they figured it out…" Carly mumbled, commenting. Marisa nodded. "They did, they're going to operate first thing tomorrow morning, they would sooner but they don't think he could handle two surgeries in a day so—"

"So he's gonna be okay?" Sam asked sitting down on the other side of the bed next to Carly had had taken one before her.

"Yes, but we'll know more after tomorrow morning." Ms. Benson re-assured them. Sam nodded. "Okay? W-why did they put that thing back in his throat? He can breathe on his own, right?" Sam continued her set of question in alarm.

Ms. Benson quickly nodded. "Yes, he can –the doctors just want to minimize the amount of activity his brain has, that's also why those two electrodes are on his right temple. They're measuring the activity in his brain."

Sam quickly nodded. "O-okay." She exhaled.

"Here, I'll give you girls a moment with him okay? I'll go find Spencer." Carly nodded and Sam agreed with an "okay." But as Freddie's mom walked out their attention shifted to their best friend.

"Hey, uh –I I need to go to the bathroom." Sam spoke as an excuse to get out of the room. She just needed to breathe anything but the stuffy air in that room. Carly nodded. "Be back soon kay?" Sam nodded then rushed out.

And as soon as she walked out of that room she bolted for any door that led her outside. In the end she found a staircase at the end of one hall that led to the rooftop. It was pouring rain and she could hear the thunder roaring outside from the rumbled of the hospital as it shook. But she didn't care.

It was a Friday night in the middle of summer and she was in a hospital. On a normal Friday night she would most likely be hanging with Carly and Freddie after filming a webisode of iCarly, or on a special event, partying at Wendy's. She would be anywhere but here.

But this has become her life now; sitting vigil at Freddie's bedside trying to help him remember who the hell he was, because life hasn't already kicked the shit out of her.

She climbed the stairs and reached the rooftop after opening the door. A sudden wave of rain water crashed onto her skin as she was exposed into the world outside.

And it felt _good_.

She breathed in the fresh air that the rain water supplied and let herself get soaked. She looked around helplessly and walked towards the middle of the medium sized rooftop. And there, standing in the middle she faced sky above her, screamed.

"Why?!" She shouted as much as she could. "HU?! WHY?!" Her arms extended outwards. "MY LIFE WASN"T ALREADY SCREWED ENOUGH!?" She cried. "SCREW YOU! SCREW YOU OKAY!? ITS NOT FAIR! Freddie didn't deserve this God! He didn't! Don't you get tired of chasing people out of my life?! HU?! 'Cause I'm tired of watching it! But this time I'm NOT going to let to take him too, GOT IT?! I'm going to fight like hell to keep him, I am!" Her throat suddenly hurt like hell.

"Cause there is NO way I am letting him go!" She yelled. "IT'S MY FAULT!" She screamed with all her might. "IT'S MY FREAKING FAULT!" She didn't realize it at the time but tears escaped her eyes and her breath's turned into sobs. "Oh god!" She shouted.

Lighting struck the world around her making her tremble.

"I'm sorry! I am so sorry!" She continued to cry, not realizing she wasn't alone.

There in the shadows of night stood a tall figure, gazing at Sam in guilt. He was intruding her intimate, vulnerable moment with God.

"Sam?" He asked as she quickly approached her. But she couldn't hear him over the sound of her own sobs.

She was crying into her hands trying to stabilize herself mentally but having trouble keeping her emotions in check.

He grabbed her into a tight grasp, scaring her at first, but then calming her down. "What are you doing here K-Kyle?" She asked telling him hold her for a moment.

"I used to come up here a lot." He spoke explaining. "Just wanted to remember what it felt like." "Wh-what do you mean?" She asked in confusion as he let her go, and led her to the side of the building.

"I just wanted to remember what if felt like when my mom was alive." He explained softly and into the distance that Sam barely caught that. Her heart sank.

"Wh-wha?" She mumbled. Kyle turned to her. "My friends, are the nurses, they helped a lot back then. I just wanted to say hi." He continued to explain.

Sam nodded. Kyle hunched over and leaned against the terrace on this elbows. "You okay?" He asked tying to move off the subject. Sam shrugged. "You didn't see anything Kyle." She warned.

He shook his head. "I didn't, if you tell me how you feel." Sam exhaled and took a moment. "One important thing Carly forgot to mention about Freddie; he lost his memory." She spoke barely a whisper.

But Kyle caught it, and his gaze on the city dropped and focused on Sam. "Oh crap." He exhaled. Sam nodded. "Yeah, it _sucks_." She said viciously.

"Ya know, it's ironic how he can't remember anything, but I can remember everything." She commented. "I remember the moment right before the crash, I remember feeling Freddie lose control of the car, the feeling of being violently thrown and dropped with the weight of the car…waking up after, glass everywhere… _blood_ everywhere," She mumbled off.

"T-the car was tilted on its side with the driver down, and when I looked—" Her voice broke. "When I looked down at Freddie he—his head was bashed and blood was falling down his face, his window had been smashed and I remember being fazed wondering what had hit it, until I saw the blood on remaining pieces trapped in the frame."

Her body trembled, and it wasn't from the rain or cold. It was from the memory. "I thought he was dead." She whispered faintly. This time Kyle didn't catch it.

"He woke up, and begged me to get out and get help, c-cause I couldn't get any reception down there b-but I think he just didn't want me to see him like that—I-I think he thought he was gonna die and he didn't want me to watch!"' Sam realized sobbing. Kyle quickly wrapped his arms around her one more time and hope he somewhat comforted her.

She had gone through so much, he could barely believe how calm and collected she was at the wedding today.

"T-the worst part?" She cried. "I-I _lo_-_love_ him."

…

**Well, that was the 14****th**** chapter! Hehe, like it? I'm no spring break so I'm trying to update every other day for the next week! Epp! I'll try to get them next chapter in no later than Monday!**

**Please review? Please?**

**Thanks**

**-C**


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Chapter 15/ Brave New World**

Sam walked down the hallway of the hospital on her back to Freddie's room, she couldn't stop thinking about the crash. It happened well over a week ago but the memory of it was stubborn, it refused to go away though she had begged it to.

As she passed the corner she saw her best friend with her old brother waiting anxiously outside with worry. She rushed to their side and attacked them with her questions. "What happened?" The blonde asked in a breathless whisper. Sam looked into the eyes of her best friend waiting for the worst to come out of her mouth. "He—he woke up." She whispered with a slight but confused smile..

"What?" Sam frowned trying to catch on. "I-is that good thing?" Sam asked in confusion. Carly shrugged. "We don't know, they kicked us out—"

"—Dr. Owens is trying to convince Freddie to let him put him back to sleep." Spencer explained cutting his little sister off before she freaks her best friend out. Sam's frown deepened as she pushed through the doors without any hesitance.

She could hear Carl's protests in the background, but decided ignored them; _no doctor_ was going to get in the way of her walking into that room.

She bolted through the doors and entered the room; everyone's eyes on her. "S-ahh." Freddie spoke, struggling through the tube. It was difficult to form and speak words out. The blonde smiled lightly at him.

"Sam what are you—?" Ms. Benson asked in shock. "Just give him a minute Ms. B, before you force him to do anything let him breathe for a minute okay?" Sam reasoned after storming in and catching them by surprise. It took Ms. Benson a moment but she oddly agreed.

Dr. Owens backed off respectively. "You're right, I am sorry for the forwardness Fredward."

"His name is Freddie." Sam corrected bitterly.

"Right, Freddie."

Carly and Spencer then quietly and cautiously walked inside, carefully watching how everyone interacted with each other. "That's a great idea; I will give you a minute, then I'll come back." Dr. Owens spoke reasonably as he walked out respectably.

Ms. Benson looked down at her boy and began to explain. "Don't speak, okay?" Freddie nodded. "I know this day might be a little fuzzy to you, so I'll explain."

Freddie's eyes meet Marisa's and a flash flew across his eyes, completely blinding the reality in front of him. And suddenly, he was looking into the eyes of a younger version of his mother.

_"Freddie me and daddy have something special to tell you, okay?" The younger version of Marisa spoke happily as she sat her son down on a chair that faced the couch._

_The father walked in, there was a smile plastered to his face as he took the seat on the couch next to his glowing wife. He gave her a look and now his smile formed into a grin he couldn't seem to let go._

_She glanced back at him and gave him a look to continue. Then, almost at the same time they turned towards their seven year old boy and started. Freddie frowned at his parents, they were acting strange to him, he'd never seen his parents so excited before. So he frowned in confusion. "Well what is it?" He asked innocently, almost scared of the answer._

_"Freddie, me and your fathe—" _"—There were some complications to your surgery," And just like that, without any warning he was quickly sucked back into reality. "…and the doctors found a small problem with your brain, but you're going to be fine okay?" Ms. Benson explained.

Freddie looked up at her in utter confusion, then quickly nodded when he saw her fake smile slowly fade, not wanting to worry her. But he didn't know what he nodded for; he hadn't heard her at all.

"I know you must have a million questions right now, but you just have to trust us for now, okay?" His mother continued. _What the hell was that? _He asked himself in thought, he didn't understand it now, but he would soon. The answer was painfully right in front of him.

After a moment of trying to process everything he nodded once more, actually having time to remember what she had just said. _Complications during surgery, brain, going to be fine_; ran through his head as everything slowly pieced back together.

"I'll start with the basis, it's around seven pm, still the same day, they are going to operate tomorrow morning, nodded if you understand." Freddie nodded once more, then suddenly his vision became blurry, just as if a static flash flashed across a television screen. And he was pulled back in.

_"Well, Fred-force, you are going to be a big brother!" His father exclaimed happily cutting his wife off. Freddie frown dropped as quickly as he heard the news, and the ends of his mouth rose up forming a smile on his face._

_"Really?! I'm gonna be a brother?!" He shouted as he jumped out of his seat and into his father who catch him and then tickled him. "Unless, you're not ready?" His father teased._

_"No! I-I am ready daddy! You'll see!" He tried to convince them despratly. "Wow! I'm gonna be the best big brother in the world!" He exclaimed as he tried to escape his father's ticklish clutches_

_"I know you are Honey." Marisa laughed along with them—_

"—That was Dr. Owens, he's the head of neurology, he wants to help you okay?" It had stopped once again. It was like he was being thrown back into reality every time he left that third dimensional area… but it didn't make sense to him. Clearly the woman was his mother, and he was the boy… but the father.

He suddenly realized he hadn't heard anything about him until that weird—he didn't even know what to call it. _Maybe they're just hallucinations from the drugs they pumped me with? Or maybe was it from the thing they found wrong with my brain?—or… _He knew it now; they were _memories_.

"He thinks it best if he puts you back to sleep, and you have to let him Freddie." His mother continued in a begging tone. His hearing suddenly was plugged back into the world and all he caught was_ "best if he puts you back to sleep…" _His eye's quickly widened and he shook his head as fast as he could a no.

Sam could see the panic in his eyes that forced him to disagree; he was still confused. "Benson, you have to understand okay?" Sam began out of nowhere.

"Marisa?" Dr. Owens poked his head inside. "I have a few forms you have to fill out for the surgery, mind coming with me?" He asked. Ms. Benson looked down at her son then back at the door. She hesitated but then Freddie gave her a look of approval and she agreed. "I'll be right back."

"Listen," Sam began once more, she bent her leg and half sat on his bed, her right leg supporting her. "You wanna get better right? You wanna get out of here?" Freddie nodded. "Then you have to listen to them, they just want what's best for you okay?"

After a second Freddie nodded, and then lifted his good arm to the tube in his throat and tugged at it lightly, trying to take it out so he could speak–he had to tell someone before they drugged him again. Sam quickly and gently got a hold of his hand and put it back down. "Don't. I know it sucks, but you gotta leave that in."

He just looked her in the eye and remained silent; it wasn't like he could say anything anyway, though he desperately wanted to. "J-just close your eyes okay? Relax…" He nodded coming to terms what he wasn't going to be able to tell anyone, not until the after the surgery that is, and did what she had told him.

Carly leaned into her older brother and smiled gazing at the two, and how they connected. Spencer wrapped his arm around her and sighed. He always knew there was something that lingered after their mutual break up.

He was _right_.

Sam felt the tenseness in his body release, so she slowly attempted to get off the bed but he caught her hand before she could get away. "—ay." He struggled out, keeping his eyes closed. Sam quickly nodded, and took her place once more. "Shh…" She coaxed him.

…

"Sam," Carly exhaled whispering. Sam was basically dozed off upright, supporting her upper body with only her elbow. "Hum?" She mumbled after a moment.

"Heyy, we should get going." The brunette suggested. "It's late." She added. Sam quickly nodded, then looked at the time on her phone. _2:09am_.

She got out of her tired faze then glanced at Freddie, who was still asleep, then back at her best friend. "Okay." She yawned.

Carly helped her out of the bed without disturbing Freddie and then spoke. "We'll be back tomorrow morning, Ms. Benson, you'll call us if anything goes wrong?" Carly asked in a hushed tone.

Ms. Benson nodded and smiled wearily. "Of course." "Try to get some sleep Ms. B." Spencer added as he led the girls out of the room. "You too."

…

"You were kinda amazing with him earlier." Carly commented as she climbed in her bed after turning the lights off. Sam frowned and pulled the covers over her legs. "Nah, that was nothing really, I just did what I'd want someone to do to me if I was in his place." She spoke honestly.

Carly nodded. "Hey so, I-um, I got a call from my dad." Carly let out unexpectedly. This caught Sam's attention quickly and she sat up supported by her arm. "Is this about the—"

"Yeah, it is." She gulped.

"So what are you gonna do?" Sam exhaled quietly trying to find her face through the darkness. Carly shrugged, her body was almost trembling with nerves. "Well, I can leave with all this happening, but he needs an answer, a-and I don't know what to do."

"You should go." Sam said without any hesitation.

"Sam!" Carly cried suddenly in a hushed tone. "What?" "There's no way I'm leaving now Sam! What kind of friend will I be?!" The brunette argued.

"How would Freddie feel if he got in the way of what you've always wanted to do?" Sam fought trying to make her realize she was making a mistake "Can we just drop this for now? I'm tired and it's almost 3am in the morning Sam." Carly sighed.

"Whatever, but you should still go." Sam mumbled and turned over in the bed away from Carly.

…

_A strangled cry ran out from the kitchen catching seven year old Freddie's attention from the living room. The sound of a phone being clattered on the kitchen counter from the fall of a trembled hand echoed through the apartment._

_ Little Freddie dropped the charred blue crayon from his hand and turned his head towards the kitchen. He could see the back of his mothers head from where he sat but that was all he could see. So he stood up and walked towards the island counter._

_He stopped right by the corner, so close that his shoulder brushed the edge. "Moma?" His voice pierced through the eerie silence that over took the small apartment. Marisa sniffed as the trembles took over her body when she tried to turn around. But the pain in her heart and the literal pain her body was exploding in kept her from being able to turn around._

_"Fred—ah." She tried to speak. She wanted to convince him it was okay, to not further scare him. "Moma?" Freddie asked again attempting to approach his mother._

_"S-stay, th-there." Marisa exhaled sharply, she clutched her large stomach in pain and grabbed the counter for support._

_As Freddie approached her he noticed the red puddle on the floor beneath his mother swollen feet and stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes widened and his heart raced in panic. For all he knew it could be a puddle of dark red paint, but he was smarter than that. He knew it wasn't_

_And he suddenly he remembered a game he and his mother played, What If…? What if the house caught on fire? What if Mommy fell? What if There was an earthquake? And all he could remember from those games was to call 9-1-1. _

_So he quickly turned around and raced to another phone outlet that was on the side table near the couch and grabbed the phone. His short stubby child fingers reached for the numbers on the large house phone._

_…_

_"I-I have the test results back Mrs. Benson—" "I-it's Ms." She said in a heartbroken way. The doctor nodded sympathetically. "My apologizes, Ms. Benson." He corrected._

_"I'm very sorry to say this, but you lost the baby." His voice echoed through the small hospital room. Marisa let out another cry, not noticing her son's presence. And in that moment he was horrified and confused._

_And without any warning he turned around and ran out of the room, out into the hallway of large hospital. I could've been minutes, or hours he couldn't track the time but he wound up where he though he last saw he father the day before. _

_An intern caught sight of him and frowned as she approached him. "Hey little guy, what you looking for?" The young female intern asked._

_"My dad. Do you know where he is?" He asked innocently. The intern shrugged. "Maybe? Can you tell me his name kiddo?"_

_Freddie nodded looking but at the intern with long brown ponytail. "Julian, Julian Benson." The intern nodded taking the information in. "Okay sweetie, can you come with me?" Freddie nodded as he grabbed the intern hand and walked with her behind a tall counter. There he waited patiently as the intern type the name into the computer database._

_After a moment wait the file popped up and she hoped she could find the room number of his father, in fact she did. _

_Julian Clayton Benson: Deceased_

_…_

***If you are confused the last italic part of this chapter was a memory that Freddie gained when he was asleep…***

**Well! That was chapter 15! :) Hope you enjoyed! And I promise you guys you will find out what Freddie's voicemail to Sam was about in the next chapter! Hope to have it up by Sunday! :)**

**Review!**

**-C**


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**_Previously on iDon't Remember,_**

_Freddie made it out of surgery a couple minutes ago—" "Well, what happened?" Carly asked quickly. "T-they're not exactly s-sure…"_

_..._

"_He hit his head and broken a car window." Andrea reasoned. "You know what the chances are that we missed something like this and that it can burst into an aneurysm?_

_..._

_"Oh my god…" Dr. Owens commented. "There it is." He said. "It's tiny—no, that's too big, it's diminutive, but it's defiantly there...__"_

_..._

_"He has what they call a sub-arachoid hemorrhage… he's bleeding into his brain." She whispered._

_..._

_Freddie's eyes meet Marisa's and a flash flew across his eyes, completely blinding the reality in front of him. And suddenly, he was looking into the eyes of a younger version of his mother. "Mom…" He realized._

_..._

_I just have find to his mom and let her know we need to perform another surgery."__Dr. Owens explained._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16Levels of Difficulty**

1:02pm

"Mom…" The words felt strangely familiar rolling off his tongue. "Hey." Freddie mumbled out softly, as he slowly and drowsily came to his senses.

Ms. Benson who sat vigil at his bedside half asleep, jumped in her seat as soon as she heard him coming around. She stood up and leaned against the bed to get a clearer view of him.

"Oh my god Freddie, you're awake." She exhaled in joy. A tear fell down her face and she quickly whipped it away and took hold of his hand.

"Y-yeah, I guess I am…" Freddie exhaled in exhaustion. "W-why? H-how long was I out?" He asked groggily.

"Not long, a couple of hours, h-how do you feel?" She asked quickly. He shut his eyes for a moment then gave her a tried small smile. "Fine? M-my head kind of hurts… bu-but I'm fine." Then a frown overcame his face.

"What wrong?" Marisa quickly asked in worry. Freddie shook his head slowly. "Um, I-I had a… is my—is my father dead?"He asked unexpectedly out of nowhere.

Then she processed what he had just said.

"Wh-what makes you say that?" She quickly asked. It took Freddie a while before he answered trying to come up with the right words. "I-I remember, y-you were pre-g-pregnant, and he was gone… th-the nurse was walking to… you, a-and then you told me…"

"He's dead." His voice was hoarse and raspy but he spoke anyway, wanting to know the truth.

Ms. Benson sighed and nodded. "Y-yes, your father is dead Freddie." She said it so softly and faint that he barely heard her. Freddie took a breath and tried to stop the tears that were slowly forming in his eyes.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

Ms. Benson then sat down on the bed next to him and quickly stopped. "No, there is _nothing_ to be sorry for Freddie, your father—he, he –It was such a long time ago." She breathed out.

Freddie nodded. For some reason the news—the memory, of his mother explaining to him this father was gone, felt so recent, like it had happened yesterday.

That was when Ms. Benson started crying. She brought her hands up to her face and sobbed into them for a couple of moments before Freddie had the courage to interrupt her.

"Mom?" He asked softly, calling her the way he always had; to him it came so natural.

Marisa lowered her trembling hands, which revealed a smile behind her tears. Freddie frowned in confusion. "Mom, you're smiling?"

Marisa nodded. "Uhum…"

"But why? I mean—" Freddie started to say but was quickly cut off by his mother. "You remember." She breathed out calmly. "You remember Fredward, your memory is coming back." She exhaled as she held onto his hand for dear life.

At that time he hadn't realized it, but he _had_ remembered. And it all came suddenly to him after he processed his mothers words.

"Oh my god." He breathed out. "It is…" And his lips formed into another small smile.

Marisa couldn't drop off her face. She hadn't smiled in what seemed like a matter of days, and to her, it felt so good to finally reach that turning point.

"Where's Sam? Where's Carly? I wanna to tell them." He said quickly.

But as soon as Ms. Benson heard her son mentioning the blonde, her smile disappeared, and her skin paled a little. Freddie quickly noticed this, and realized there was something going on.

"Mom?" He asked concerned.

But Marisa just stayed silent desperately searching for the words to explain.

…

_7 hours earlier…_

_5:09am_

Carly woke to the sound of heaving followed by the flush of a toilet in the background. She quickly came to her senses after not feeling another body in the bed beside her and jumped out of her bed to the bathroom down the hall.

"Sam?" She asked urgently as she opened the door, revealing Sam hunched over the toilet.

Carly quickly examined her; her skin felt hot to the touch, her face was flushed, she was pale, and heavily sweating. "Oh my god Sam," She breathed out, as she got to her level and pulled her blonde curly waves back.

Suddenly Sam's body lunged into the bowl and she let out another round of vomit. "Oh god Carl's." She mumbled out.

"I know, I know, its okay… Spencer! SPENCER!" Carly screamed loudly for her older brother. She needed help; this was not normal.

"Did you take your medication Sam?" She quickly asked. The blonde nodded. "Yes," She rasped out. "I took it before we got to th-to the—bleeeeaaagggh!" She lunged in the toilet once more.

"Oh Sam," Carly sighed; she could hear her brothers footsteps climbing up the stairs. "Spencer hurry!" She yelled in panic.

"Carl's I don't feel so good." Sam admitted drowsily. Carly nodded repeatedly and spoke. "I know, I know… oh god." She whispered.

"What's going on?" Spencer quickly asked as he walked in. "Oh my god Sam!" He cried in horror as he saw her.

"Call he hospital –call Dr. Baits –someone, she said she took her medication. I-I don't know what wrong with her she won't stop—"

"Bleeeaagghhh!"

"Doing that…" She explained in a disgusted matter stilling holding her long curls tightly in the grip of her hand.

"Damn," Spencer cursed under his breath. "Yeah, she's burning up, and a little off balanced…" Carly continued.

"Okay," Spencer exhaled. "the phone's downstairs, I'll be back." He said quickly as she made his way down the stairs and back to his room where he took his cell phone out and found Dr. Baits number.

"Where is this all coming from Sam? You've barely eaten anything in the last couple of days!" He heard his sister asking in panic back upstairs.

The phone rang three times before the call was answered. "Hello? Dr. Baits," He asked.

"Yes? Who's this?" She asked in confusion.

"This is Spencer Shay calling, look I know you're not Sam's doctor, but she's puking everything out, she's burning up, sweating, she's dizzy. I-I don't know what to do… should I bring her down? O-or wait it out?" Spencer spoke urgently into the phone, when he was downstairs.

"That doesn't sound good. Did she take her medication today?" "Yes, I think so, Carly makes sure she does." Spencer spoke confidently.

"Okay, _if_ she did, it sounds like symptoms of an infection, you should defiantly bring her down here immediately." Dr. Baits answered swiftly. "So she has an infection?" Spencer asked on high alert. "I-I'm not gonna be sure until she's been check out but it seems like it. How fast can you get here?"

Spencer shrugged as he ran into his room in search of his car keys. "I don't know, ten –maybe fifteen minutes." Dr. Baits nodded over the phone and then spoke. "Okay, I'll meet you down stairs in the ER soon Mr. Shay."

"Alright." Spencer exhaled hanging up and running up the stairs.

"Carly?!" He shouted halfway up there. "We gotta bring her in, Dr. Baits says she might have an infection."

…

"Mr. Shay!" Dr. Baits shouted out rushing towards them. Spencer was carrying the blond in his arms, bridal style. Sam was groggy and confused, but surprisingly still awake.

"I have a bed on hold for her in the ER, can someone get me a wheelchair here?" The doctor shouted around. A hospital ordeal quickly responded rolling a wheelchair towards her. "Thank you."

"Follow me." Andrea guided them down the hall past the pit and into the ER.

"Aren't you supposed to be in surgery with Freddie?" Carly asked in confusion after checking the time. It was 5:36am. After they got Sam into the ER bed, Dr. Baits looked at the brunette girl and nodded. "Yes, I am, but your brother here called and I needed to help, there aren't a lot of doctors on call tonight, and those who are, are in surgery, plus Dr. Owens can handle himself in there for a little while." She explained as she checked Sam's chart.

"Okay, I'm gonna need to take that cast off to be sure there's an infection, okay Sam?" She stated.

Sam nodded groggily. "Spencer you should find Ms. Benson, let her know what going on. I'll stay here with Sam."

"Okay—wait, shouldn't we call her mother?" He asked unsurly.

"Uh, I could try but she and her husband are in Napa on their honeymoon, it won't be much help." Carly said.

Spencer smiled. "Okay, well, think of it like this, if you were hurt and in the hospital, I would want to know right?"

Carly nodded, now understanding. "Well, yeah."

"There you go, I'll call her. You stay with Sam." Spencer said walking towards the waiting room where he expected Ms. Benson to be.

…

_20 minutes later…_

"Yeah, that's defiantly an infection there." Andrea Baits stated as she proceeded to clean the wound.

"Is that easy to treat?" Carly asked concerned. "She'll be fine right?"

Dr. Baits nodded, glancing at the blonde who had passed out from the bag of fluids she put her on.

"She should be fine, but she's gonna have to stay the night for observation." Dr. Baits answered with a slight smile. "She's not gonna like that." , Carly exhaled in relief.

"So what's their story?" Dr. Baits said out of nowhere after a couple of silent minutes. Carly frowned then quickly caught on. "Oh, you mean Sam and Fre-" "If you don't mind me asking." Andrea quickly cut in.

The brunette shook her head. "No, its fine… " She chuckled. "What's so funny?" Dr. Baits asked in amusment.

Carly shrugged. "It's funny, I've known Sam and Freddie all my life, and I-I don't even know where to start." She admitted.

Dr. Baits rose one of her eyebrows in interest. "Oh?"

"Yeah," Carly chuckled again. "Th-they have a complicated relationship, them two. They're friends one minute, and enemies then next. They love each other, then they hate each other…"

"Ah, the famous love/hate relationship." Andrea commented. Carly smiled and exhaled. "Yeahh, anyways, sometimes I'm jealous of them, ya know?" Carly continued looking at her best friend on the bed.

"I want something like they have… I know she loves him. She does. Even if she doesn't see it, I do." She exhaled. "I-I can't really explain it, he balances her out… she's good when she's around him."

Dr. Baits nodded listening while still working on the young girl's arm. "She's happy, like truly happy." Carly continued. At this point she was mumbling everything that came to her head.

"He loves her too. But he's much smarter and unlike her he realizes this, he tries to hide it not to scare her off, but he loves her… they were together last year, did you know that?" Carly asked.

Dr. Baits shook her head. "No, I mean—by the looks of them now, I thought they are together." She chuckled.

Carly smiled. "Yeahh, they're not. They were together the whole summer last year, they were happy—but they could not stop arguing!" Carly moaned.

"I mean it was like non-stop. They would make out one minute, and try to kill each other the next! It-It was crazy."

"Why'd they break up?" Andrea asked.

"You know, I don't really know. Sam never wanted to talk about it, and all Freddie ever said was that _it was mutal_." Andrea nodded. "That's a shame." She exhaled.

Carly nodded. "That's what I said. I told her she was making a mistake. She just didn't want to talk about it. And as he best friend I had to respect that."

"Okay, done." Dr. Baits exclaimed taking her rubber gloves off and dumping them into a nearby trashcan. "I'll have a nurse admit her, and take her to a private room upstairs." She explained.

"Alright." Carly agreed.

A sudden beeping sound set off and Andrea reached into her pocket to pull out her pager. "That's, Dr. Owens… I-I should get going, I'll try to give you guys an update as soon as possible okay?"

Dr. Baits seemed concerned when she received the page, which worried the brunette, but not enough to alarm her.

…

6:48am

"Any update's?" Carly asked with a yawn as her brother walked in the room. Spencer sighed in exhaustion and nodded. "Yeah, um, Ms. B is actually talking to Dr. Baits right now. She said she'll come up after." He replied taking a seat next to his sister.

"I hope he's okay," She mumbled. Spencer nodded in agreement and took a deep breath. "Me too" He exhaled. "So, kiddo, I was thinking; if everything's alright with Freddie, that we should head back home, ya know? Actually sleep for a few decent hours?" Spencer suggested.

Carly looked away from Sam who was silently sleeping on the bed to her brother and shrugged wondering if it was a good idea or not. "Well, Sam's gonna be out for a while, and Freddie's not gonna get out of surgery till later... I guess we could, if Ms. Benson agrees to stay with her until we come back." Carly reasoned. "I can't leave her here alone Spence, she's terrified as it is."

Spencer nodded. "That works,"

"Okay, I honestly can't wait to get a decent hour of sleep in me." Carly sighed as she continued to flip through the magazine in her lap. Spencer smiled and sat down next to her. "Anything new on Sam? She gonna be alright?" The older male asked.

Carly nodded. "Yeah, Dr. Baits said she should be fine, but they have to keep her overnight for observation to make sure it's not anything life threatening." She added with a yawn.

...

"So he's alright? Wh-what you're saying is, Freddie's fine?" Ms. Benson asked. Dr. Baits nodded with a smile triumphant smile. "Yes, your son is doing perfect, no complications, interruptions –nothing." Andrea positively confirmed with the eager mother.

Ms. Benson exhaled a breath of relief and calmed herself down a bit. "H-how much longer are they gonna take? I-I want to see my son..." Marisa asked the young doctor.

"Well, Dr. Owens was just about in the middle of the surgery when I came out to update you. I'm afraid it's going to take another couple of hours before they finish, and when they do, Freddie will be in the recovery unit for a while before he can have any visitors." Andrea explained.

Marisa nodded unwillingly, having nothing else to say or do. "T-thank you Dr. Baits, i-if anything happens please, let me know."

"Of course, as soon as I can Ms. Benson." She smiled politely back at the worried mother before she turned around and made her way back to the operating room.  
>...<p>

"He's doing fine, Dr. Baits explained to me that there weren't any complications so far, but they're far from finished, she said it could take a couple more hours before they're done." Ms. Benson informed Spencer and Carly as she entered Sam's room.

Carly nodded. "So, he's fine. Nothing went wrong so far?" She confirmed. Ms. Benson nodded with a small significant smile. "Yes, he's fine dear."

Carly's lips formed a smile and she looked up at her older brother; he held the same expression. "That's great Ms. B." Spencer added as a yawn over took him.

Ms. Benson noticed the lack of sleep that was missing off both of their faces and opened her mouth to speak up. "Maybe you two should go catch some necessary sleep…" She suggested.

Spencer chuckled and whipped the eye buggers from his eyes. "Funny, we were just going to ask you if you could stay here with Sam until Freddie gets out of surgery."

Ms. Benson nodded. "Of course, you guys go home –get some sleep, I'll call if anything changes with the both of them okay?" She added, trying to further persuade them.

Carly got up and followed her brother to the door. "Thanks Ms. Benson."

"No problem dear, it's not like I can sleep at a time like this haha." She chuckled nervously.

After the Shay siblings left the room Ms. Benson took up Carly's former seat by the blonde's bedside and sighed, gazing at the young girl.

"Samantha Puckett," Ms. Benson sighed holding on to that small smile. "you have no idea how much my son loves you." She whispered to herself.

"you have no idea how much you put him through…" She leaned back into her chair and continued to talk, though Sam couldn't hear her. "truth is, I used to despise what you did to him… but now, I'm kind of grateful," She sighed once more and studied the girl before her.

"all his life I protected him from harm; whether it was physical or mental, and I was wrong to do so. He never really knew how to stand up for himself because he was never put into a situation where he had too, you made him face obstacles my dear; you helped him become the man he is today. So, I have to thank you for that."

A tear fell down her face as she tried to speak out the next few sentences. "His f-father would've been proud of him." Her voice broke at the mention of her late husband.

"Thank you."

…

9:27am

Hours had passed and Ms. Benson was getting worried. Freddie's surgery was running late and with every minute that passed her panic only grew. The last time Dr. Baits came to update her was about two hours ago, when she had told her they were in the middle of his surgery.

She was certain they'd be finished by then.

"M-Ms. Be—" Sam let out drowsily. She was slowly coming to her senses as she opened her eyes.

"Sam," Ms. Benson stated as she realized the young girl had awakened. "Hi, how you feeling?"

Sam shrugged and let out a moan. "Like crap. H-h—why am I—" "Oh, um Carly found you over the toilet this morning and they brought you in, your arm was infected, that's what caused your fever life symptoms."

Sam nodded. "Great." She exhaled in annoyance. "How long am I trapped in here for?" She asked abruptly.

"You have to stay the night for observation, but that's it." Ms. Benson informed her as she took a worried glance out the window behind her in search for Dr. Baits.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked fighting the sleep in her eyes as she noticed the panicked look on Freddie's mother face.

Ms. Benson turned around and took her eyes off the window. "Oh nothing dear, I'm just—nothing." She whipped off her worried expression and replaced it with a fake smile.

Sam saw through it. "I'm not stupid Ms. B, what's going on?" Marisa took a moment trying to come up with the right words to explain without making her panic.

"Um—" "It's Freddie, isn't it?" The blonde asked suddenly alarmed. Ms. Benson gently nodded. "Yes, I've been waiting for Dr. Baits to give me an update for a while now… I'm just getting worried—a mother thing, there's nothing to worry about."

Sam didn't buy it. "You should go check." She stated. "You work here, you know where the OR's are, go check Ms. B." Sam tried to persuade the older women.

"Wh-here are Carly and Spencer?" She asked suddenly noticing their absence. "Oh, um, I sent them home, poor things were falling asleep standing up. They'll be back by noon." Marisa explained folding her hands in front on her lap.

"Ohh… good. I'd hate to keep them here any longer then their needed." Sam commented. Marisa quickly nodded in agreement; Sam continued to stare at her.

"W-what?" Marisa asked after a few moments.

"Go, go check on Freddie." Sam stated.

"No, I can't leave you here alone Samantha—" "Oh come on Ms. B, I'll be fine. Go check on your son." She persuaded.

After a second of giving it thought Marisa nodded. "Fine, I'll be back shortly." She said as she got off the chair and walked out the door.

"I'll be here…" She sighed in boredom. The blonde relaxed on to the bed, trying to get more comfortable, but failing. She noticed her pear shaped phone on the bedside table next to her, and slowly reached over to grab it.

After two attempts her hands grasped the object and she settled back into the large uncomfortable bed.

She noticed the notification that she had a voice from Spencer, and groaned in slight annoyance. "Damn phone." She cursed under her breath. She clicked on the notification which brought up the call.

_You have, one old message from Spencer Shay. _"_Hey, I just wanted to get something through before I get hauled off here," _The Freddie's unsure voice rang through the phone, attaching Sam's attention.

"Oh my god." She whispered in shock, the voice mail was from Freddie, not Spencer.

"_I didn't want to tell anyone this yet, but I kinda remembered some things. Like some from the crash, some from not. Anyway, I didn't tell anyone because I wasn't very sure if they were real… but now-now I am. Look, I wanna talk af-well after pretty much everything. When you find this message get back to me… oh, and remember, I hate you too." _

A smile lingered her on her face after hearing the ending, she could practically hear the smirk on his face when he said "I hate you too."

But the smile was short lived and soon it dropped, turning into frown as a quick but sharp pain struck her arm. "Ahh…" She winced in shock from the pain.

As quickly as it passed, it came back, this time the sting was worse, making her grab her arm in pain.

Then it was as if this uneasy, weird feeling was washed through her, making her eyes droop, and her head fall to the side. Nausea quickly swept through her as that unsettling sensation continued to spread.

Whatever it was, quickly made her weak with almost no complete control over her body. And the last thing she remembered before she was pulled under was her vision blurring.

…

"Ms. Benson?" A familiar voice let called her name from across the hall. Marisa turned around and came face to face with Dr. Baits herself. "Oh, Andrea I was just going to look for you—how is he?" Ms. Benson quickly asked about her son.

"W-Why did the surgery take so much longer?" She continued. Dr. Baits face fell at the mention of Freddie.

"Why don't you come with me Ms. Benson." She suggested as she continued walking down the hallway.

"Dr. Baits, what's going on? Where's my son?" She asked in utter panic. Her heart began to race, her hands shaking, fearing the worst.

Dr. Baits didn't say anything as she guided Ms. Benson towards the OR. "Wh-what are we going here?" Marisa asked quickly.

Andrea let her upstairs to the observation room and sat Ms. Benson down. The window that viewed the OR below was shut off so you couldn't see anything.

"Okay, we need to discuss Freddie." The way she said it, with such a concern, and worry, scared the hell out of Ms. Benson.

"O-okay?" Marisa said unsurely.

"There were some complications with some of the last parts of Freddie's surgery." The young doctor began to explain.

Marisa just listened intently, not daring to miss anything that came out of her mouth. "Now don't be alarmed, your son is alive."

Marisa let out a breath in relief she didn't realize she was holding. "Why couldn't you just lead with that?" She chuckled softly as she whipped away a tear. She stopped trembling, and her heart seemed to relax for a moment.

"After every attempt to take your son's aneurysm out, his heart rate has dropped dangerously low. Now, this is because the aneurysm is partly attached to the anterior cerebral artery. The reason his heart rate dropped every time we attempted to take it out is because of the strain we put on the circulation of his blood…"

Ms. Benson nodded in horror.

"S-so what are you saying?' She asked in confusion. "I-I'm saying that there's a big chance that if we take the aneurysm out his heart could stop and he could bleed out on the table." She explained sincerely.

"What if-if you don't take it out?" She asked quickly.

Dr. Baits shook her head in disagreement. "You're a nurse Ms. Benson, even you know the answer to that."

"—Oh my god…" Marisa exhaled before the sobs over came her. "He-he could die…" She choked out. Dr. Baits nodded looking down in her lap. "He could die right there…" She mumbled.

"W-we need to know how to proceed Marisa." Andrea whispered gently. "H-how m-much time I do have to...?" She asked, a cry took over her body. "Oh god…" She sniffed.

Andrea shook her head. "I'm afraid you don't have much time if you want them to leave him open. I would usually provide the other option of them closing him up and giving you a day or two to think about it… but with the risk of it rupturing…" Andrea explained trailing off.

Ms. Benson quickly nodded. "I-I understand, jus-just give me a moment here Dr. Baits." Marisa stated still trying to process the information given to her.

After a moment of thinking it over in the unsettling silence, Ms. Benson looked up at Andrea and nodded.

"Y-you can proceed to t-take it out… under one condition… you let me scrubb in to say goodbye." Her upper lip trembled as her voice gave out.

Andrea gulped, then shook her head after a moment. "I'm afraid Dr. Owens won't allow it." She said. Ms. Benson shook her head repeatedly, as she aimlessly whipped her tears away.

"I-I have to see him, he's my son." She demanded uneasily. "I-I know Marisa, but you have to trust us okay?" Andrea continued to persuade.

"I can't promise you he'll be okay because I'm not god, but I can promise you that we'll try our hardest to save him. You have my_ word_."

Marisa nodded, understanding, but not wanting to. "I can't lose him Andrea. You can't let him die." She softly mumbled the last part of that sentence.

…

"Where is she?" Marisa asked referring to Sam, while staring back at the empty room.

Ms. Benson turned around and spotted her nurse friend Kara. "Kara, do you know where the patient from 208 is?" She asked in confusion.

Kara stopped in her tracks and approached Marisa she looked over a few charts she held in her hands and spoke. "You mean Samantha Puckett?"

Marisa nodded. "Yes."

"Her stats fell through the roof, poor thing passed out. Say's here Dr. Long took her up for an MRI, you should check down there." Kara informed reading off the chart.

"Thank you." Ms. Benson thanked before leaving to catch the elevator downstairs.

…

"Dr. Long?" Marisa said his name, standing in the door frame of the MRI observatory room.

Dr. Long took his eyes off the computer screen that was coming up with the result and turned around to face her.

"Nurse Benson, my favorite scrub nurse, how have you been holding up?" He asked in wonder.

"I could be better." Marisa admitted. "How's your son? Freddie is it? I heard." He set the tone a little more serious.

"Uh, he has a subarachnoid hemorrhage; he's still in surgery with Dr. Owens." She informed.

Dr. Long nodded, and gave her a sincere look and sighed. "I hope he pulls through, give him my best." He said.

Marisa nodded. "Of course, uh, h-how is Sam?" She asked. Dr. Long turned his head back to the computer reading the results.

"Ahh, let's find out." He sighs as he examines the results. "Oh… you see that?" He pointed to the screen. Marissa leaned forward and squinted her eyes to form a clear picture.

She saw the white blubs forming, and spreading in Sam's broken arm.

"The infection got to her blood stream." She mumbled out. Dr. Long nodded in agreement. "Okay, well I'll get her back to her room and start her on aggressive antibiotics, hopefully it will clear by tomorrow." He exhaled, standing up and walking towards the door.

"She's gonna be okay right?" Ms. Benson asked already knowing the answer. Dr Long turned around and smiled. "She's going to fine Marissa."

…

11:32am

"Marisa?" Two knocks followed by a voice got Ms. Bensons attention towards the door. Dr. Baits stood here, now walking in. Marisa quickly stood up from her seat next to Sam's bed, and exhaled.

"How is he?" She asked.

Dr. Baits walked up to her, her shaky hands curling the sides of Freddie's chart in her hands.

Ms. Benson looked her in the eye, not being able to read the expression on her face. But soon enough Dr. Baits released a smile and spoke up.

"He's fine, I just had an inter take him up to recovery." She informed. Marisa smiled. "So, he's okay?" She asked in almos disbelieve. Dr. Baits nodded.

"Now, I have a few things to discuss with you. Would you like to do that here or in one of the conference room-?"

"H-here."

Dr. Baits led her to the two chairs by the small table and sat her down. She then took a short moment before she said anything.

"So, after you gave us your consent to continue with the surgery, we attempted to remove the aneurysm and as we predicted there were multiple complications that arised." Andrea started.

"wh-what happened?" Marisa asked faintly.

Andrea exhaled and continued. "His heart stopped once, we were able to revive him under one minute, so no worries there." She breathed out as she watched tears form inside of Ms. Benson's eyes.

"When we proceeded to take it out, the cerebral artery was nicked, now there was bleeding but we kept it under control. As far as I can tell from now, he should make a fully physical recovery given time." She explained.

A smile erupted on Marisa's face from the cluster of frowns, and a few tears fell down her face.

"He's going to be fine? He's actually going be okay?"

Andrea nodded. "Yes."

…

1:02pm

…

"Where's Sam? Where's Carly? I wanna to tell them." He said quickly.

But as soon as Ms. Benson heard her son mentioning the blonde, her smile disappeared, and her skin paled a little. Freddie quickly noticed this, and realized there was something going on.

"Mom?" He asked concerned.

But Marisa just stayed silent desperately searching for the words to explain.

"Honey, she's—"

"Mom." Freddie asked again .

"Last night Carly found her over the toilet, she was running a fever a-and it was bad. So they brought her here. But she's okay, alright? She just has an infection dear. That's all."

It took Freddie a minute but he nodded. "She's okay?" He asked again for reassurance. Marisa nodded. "She is, and so are you. You are both doing fine."

He nodded in disappointment, he was tired of waiting.

He wanted to talk to her—he needed to.

…

**There it is! Hope you liked, I am out of school now so updates will be weekly! Sorry for the long wait! Review! And thanks for reading!**

**-C**


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Chapter 17/Above Water**

2 days later…

_Knock, Knock_

"Hey Ms. B." Sam greeted Freddie's mother as she walked in his room. Ms. Benson looked up from her paper work. "Sam! I'm glad to see you up and running." She said standing up.

Sam gave her a nod. "Me too. How is he?" She then asked referring to Freddie who was quietly asleep on the bed.

Marisa smiled, Sam's mention of Freddie showed her how much she cared about her son. "He's fine dear. He's going to okay." Sam nodded, still standing there. Marisa noticed her inching towards the bed, she got the vibe that Sam wanted to have Freddie alone to herself.

"Um, do you mind staying here for bit? I have to deliver these forms to Dr. Owens." The blond shook her head. "No problem."

As Marisa left the room Sam made her way to his bedside and sat down, one of the first times she had been relaxed in a while. "Hey," She leaned back in her seat and propped her feet on his bed, nudging his arm gently with the tip of her toe. "Freddie?" She asked trying to see if he would wake up.

He didn't and she sighed deciding to let him continue to sleep. "Man those drugs sure keep you under." She made an attempt at a joke. He didn't hear her.

"I'm glad your okay dork." She began, exhaling.

"Sam?" He said, his voice was horse as he slowly came to his sense. "So the boy lives." Sam said a little louder with a smile, putting her feet off the bed and leaning forward in her chair.

"W-water, get me some water." He said, blinking his eyes to get a clearer vision. She nodded and got up and grabbed the jug of water off the table and poured it into a cup that had a straw in it.

"Here." She handed him the cup and he drank it.

"Ahh…" He exhaled in relief. "Thanks." He handed the cup back to her. Sam put it aside and sat back down.

"How are you?" He asked looking up at her. He looked out of it, drowsy and but yet had a smile on his face. "So you heard hu?" Sam commented with a chuckle. "I practically had to force it out of my mom but yeah." He revealed.

Sam laughed. "I could see that, I'm good, just some stupid infection. Sorry, I didn't come to see you yesterday… I was a little out of it."

Freddie shook his head. "Me too, don't worry. I was asleep for more than half the day. Brain surgery does that to you." He joked.

Sam exhaled with a smile. "So, I got your message, what do you remember? H-how much do you remember?" She asked almost in an excited panicked mode.

Freddie sighed. "o-oh yeah… the voice mail—t-that was umm—" "Something." Sam finished for him. Freddie slightly chuckled then continued. "I-uh, I remember the car, there was a fire. And you were standing above shouting my name, a-and I think you were asking me if I can hear you? That part was a little unclear…" He gulped, and watched Sam's reaction to his words.

"That's all I remember from the c-crash… A few days I told you I kinda remembered that time on the fire escape, well I wasn't sure if it was real or not… but now I do."

Sam nodded. "Okay, that's great… what else?"

It took a moment for Freddie to respond as he was trying to bring the memories back. "Uh, I remember m-my dad i-is dead." This caught Sam's attention as she almost never heard Freddie speak about his father.

"What?" She mumbled out. Freddie shot her a questionable look. "I-I didn't know, you never talked about him before." She explained. "Oh." Was all he said.

"Go on." She pleaded patiently.

"Uh, I remember who my mom is. I remember her taking care of me with my dad when I was little… she was pregnant…" He faintly said.

Sam's eyes hardened on his face. "T-then o-one day I was drawing, an-and I heard my mom yell from the kitchen, the phone dropped out of her hand. I-I remember that I ra-ran towards her… I remember thinking the dark red pool at her bottom of her feet was ketchup-bu-but it, it wasn't ketchup, it was blood. I just didn't know that then." He explained trailing off.

"Oh my god Freddie." uncontrollably escaped her lips. "S-she lost the baby… and I remember leaving the room to find my dad, I couldn't find him… I don't know what happened to him." He revealed confused.

Sam just watched him for a few moments before she mustered up the courage to speak. "I'm sorry." She said, really meaning it. This was the first time she's ever heard Freddie talk about his past.

It took Freddie a minute to redeem his self but he exhaled and looked back at Sam plainly. "That's all I remember." He said flatly.

Sam nodded. "Hey, at least you're remembering right?" Freddie's smile came back. "Yeah." He frowned as he brought his hands to his head and exhaled deeply.

"You okay?" Sam asked.

Freddie nodded. "Fine, just—my heads full of all these things I-I jus—" "Here," Sam began as she went through his pocket, she pulled out his PearPhone. "Some police officers gave it to Carly after they found it in the car. I guess she forgot to hand it over to your mom, cause I found it on the island counter. I thought you might like it back." Sam said.

Freddie took the phone in his hands and studied it. "These mine too?" He asked, referring to the headphone wrapped around it. "No, those are mine. I know you're not allowed to play games and stuff on it because of your concussion an all, but they never said anything about listening to a little music, just don't blast it Benson…" She hinted.

"Here, I'll play one of my favorites, maybe you'll remember it." Freddie handed the phone back to her and as Sam instructed he pulled the headphones in.

"Okay… just listen." She said with a smile.

"_Can't stop you know we'll never give it up_

_People talk be we just don't care_

_In this life you know you gotta live it up_

_So everybody put hands in the air now_

_It's an all night party that we getting in too_

_If you think it's all over then the joke is on you…"_

"I-it sounds familiar…" He scoffed with a smile. "Where do I know this from?" He asked in an amused tone.

Sam chuckled. "Um, Carly found this song during the time Spencer was pulling pranks on everyone." She explained.

"Now that's why I thought of him." Freddie grinned. "Oh my god, seriously?" The blonde asked astonished.

"Yeah."

…

"Dr. Baits I filled out all those forms, here you go." Marisa placed the papers next to the chart Andrea was scribbling on. She looked up at Ms. Benson and smiled. "Thanks for getting those back to be so soon, but," She reached under the chart which Ms. Benson realized was her son's and pulled out another form.

"I'm afraid there's one more you have to fill out." She said handing her the paper with a grin.

"A-a discharge form?" Ms. Benson nearly choked out.

Andrea nodded happily. "Yes."

"A-are you sure he's ready for this? I mean he just had brain surgery two days ago…" Ms. Benson trailed off. Dr. Baits put a supportive hand on her shoulder and gave her a nod.

"He's fine, Marisa. No, infections, no further complications… you should know that most patient's recover better in their own house—their own environment." "Bu—" Marisa tried to cut her off and failed.

"I know, you're going to say that he doesn't know where he lives, or what his room looks like and all that, but it will be better for him to recover in his old environment… who knows, it may help him remember…" Dr. Baits tried to reason.

"Normally I wouldn't release patients this early after brain surgery, but you're a part of our staff and you know what you're doing… has the chief given you a notice on your leave?"

Marisa nodded. "Y-yes, I have to be back at work in a week."

"Good. That should give you some time to train someone to look after him for a while... I-I suggest someone he knows, someone's he's close to. Adding another stranger in his life would only complicate things." Dr. Baits said with a smile.

"B-but are you sure?" Marisa asked once more. Dr. Baits nodded. "I'm sure, your son is ready to go home—actually I'm about to go tell him now."

"O-okay…" Ms. Benson mumbled under her breath.

…

"So, I get to go home?" Freddie asked in almost confusion. Leaving the hospital has never crossed his mind before, and honestly he was a little hesitant. The hospital was all he knew.

"Yes, but you're not free just yet. You, mister, are going home with a few things. Your mom knows how to do this, so I won't have to teach her, but I'll have to explain the procedures to you." Dr. Baits started.

"So in light of your recent surgery, the medication we have you on via G-tube, isn't viable through a pill, so unfortunately you'll have to go home with the G-tube until you're ready to be pulled of the medication." Andrea explained.

"G-tube?" Freddie asked in confusion, he had no idea what she was talking about.

"The gastrostomy tube you have surgically inserted." She said. "Do you mind?" Dr. Baits asked, wanting to show him. Freddie nodded and watched as Dr. Baits pulled the gown aside and revealed his stomach.

"This thing."

"Oh, uh, okay." Freddie said unsurely.

"Okay, well, let's pretend it's time for me to give you your dosage—you can actually do this by yourself if you're well enough. You start by checking the…" Dr. Baits trailed off, but Freddie barely heard a word she said; he was too busy panicking about leaving.

It was a good thing, it meant he was getting better… but he didn't know why he was so terrified by it.

…

"Hey I heard your coming home with us tomorrow morning!" Carly exclaimed as the gang walked through the door.

Freddie gave off a fake smile and nodded. "Yeah." He exhaled.

"We're really happy, I mean it could help improve your memory…" Spencer guessed trying to lighten to mood. Freddie nodded. "Dr. Baits mentioned that."

"You okay Benson?" Sam asked noticing his slight panic. Freddie nodded quickly and hid his terror by give off another fake smile. "You know you have nothing to worry about, right?" Sam asked him cautiously, she could tell he was lying. "Y-yeah…" He denied. Sam nodded and walked closer to him. "Okay…" She mumbled unsurely.

"Hey! We should have a sleep over here tonight, I mean—Spencer maybe you can convince Ms. Benson to go home and sleep?" Carly suggested towards everyone.

Sam shrugged. "I guess, what do you think Frednerd?"

Freddie nodded. "Sounds great, maybe you guys can tell me all about _home_…" He chuckled nervously.

"Then it's settled," Carly spoke in satisfaction. "Spencer, go find Ms. Benson."

…

**I was one day late hehe, sorry but there it is! Hope you enjoyed! Review! LOL I love them! They put smiles on my face! Oh and Obviously the song lyrics aren't mine they belong to their rightful owners, I take no credit for it!, but if you were wondering the song is called _The Joke Is On You, _by Niki Watkins.**

**-C**


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Chapter 18/ Something Has Changed**

"Are you sure?" Ms. Benson asked Spencer in slight confusion. "I'm sure Ms. B, they'll be fine, and plus, you have to get ready for when Freddie come home tomorrow." Spencer reasoned with Freddie's mother.

Marissa thought about it for a quick moment and decided that what the young brunette had said, made sense. "I don't know, I mean—I don't even think I can sleep—"

"I'm sure you'll be able to sleep knowing Freddie's okay now. And he'll be in good hands with the girls." Spencer continued to persuade her to go home for the night and rest.

Marissa took another moment to think then nodded. "Oh alright then, but have them call me if anything happens. Do'you hear me Spencer?" Freddie's mother said. The older male nodded and smiled. "Okay, cool. I'm gonna go find the girls."

Ms. Benson, chuckled at the goofy strange man and sighed as she made her way to her son's room.

…

"So, Ms. Benson agreed to go home tonight—with the exception that if anything happens, you be the first to call her." Spencer announced as he sat down next to his sister in the cafeteria where they were eating lunch.

"Oh that's great!" Carly exclaimed taking a bite of her sandwich. Sam nodded in agreement and gave off a smile before returning to the ham on her plate. Spencer couldn't help smiling when he saw the blonde eating her usual.

"So what's the plan? You two gonna sleep in these clothes or am I bringing you your PJ's?" Spencer asked leaning back into his seat and stealing a piece of tomato that that fell from Carly's sandwich.

"We'll be fine like this for a night—plus I don't think we'll do much sleeping." Carly chuckled. "Alright, but don't keep him awake for too long, Freddie's got a long and stressful day for him tomorrow." Spencer warned. "He needs all the sleep he can get—"

"—Geez Spence, since when are you so parental?" Sam joked as she took a bite of the ham laying on her plate.

Spencer rolled his eyes playfully. "Just eat your ham Sam." He retorted playfully.

…

The day quickly passed and before they knew it, the sun had set and it was in the late hours of the night.

They spent the day talking and stealing food from the nurses' station, when Ms. Benson was gone. It was pretty much the most relaxing day they've had in awhile. Actually Sam couldn't recall the last peaceful day they spent together.

"We should get going." Spencer announced after a seeing the time on the wall, he had referred to himself and Ms. Benson.

Marissa sighed but nodded. "I'm afraid Spencer's right, it's getting pretty late." She exhaled gathering her things.

"Now listen I talked to Kara—Nurse Thompson, she's going to set you guys up with a cot, and a few pillows. Don't stay up too late okay?" She turned around and walked to the door with Spencer behind her.

"Oh," She turned around to face the trio. "No more stealing snacks from the Nurses station you guys." She warmed playfully.

Sam rolled her eyes while holding an confused, yet impressed gaze on her face. "I make no more promises." She stated truthfully.

"Sam." Marissa exhaled in a more serious tone.

"Fine, fine, no more stealing food—we'll pay for it." The blond reassured. Ms. Benson smiled. "Good, well goodnight."

"Night guys." Spencer said leaving after Marissa.

"Good night."

"Night."

"Bye."

"Alright, Carl's shut the door." Sam said with a smile on her face. She was up to something, Freddie could tell. "Don't forget the blinds!" She said to the brunette.

Carly did as told then sat next to Freddie's bedside. Sam, who was sitting on the bed, at Freddie's feet, grabbed her laptop and turned it on.

One look at both Carly and Sam's mischievous face's, let Freddie now they were up to something. "Wh-what's going on?" He asked slightly amused.

Sam looked at Carly with a smile then turned back to Freddie. "Oh nothing." She exhaled.

Freddie peered at Carly who was having a hard time keeping a straight face. "Carly?" He asked.

She shrugged cryptically, struggling not to give anything away.

"Okay—let's see how many viewers we had from that video we posted." Sam said typing away on her laptop. The screen was turned away from Freddie so he couldn't see.

"Oh yeah… that…w-we still filmed that?" He asked in slight confusion. Both girls chuckled. "Yeah, you were a little out of it when that happened, I'm not surprised you don't remember though." Carly admitted.

Freddie just sighed, as he relaxed further into his pillows. "Alright." He mumbled.

"Okay, so according to , there were a total of Nine hundred-thousand, eighty three thousand, four hundred and forty two viewers, nice!" Sam commented.

"Wow." Freddie said surprised, he didn't expect almost a million viewers. "That's not bad—"Carly said, but she was cut off by Sam.

"And there are about three-thousand comments on this thing!" She exclaimed. "Not bad." Carly said.

"Geez, can I see?" Freddie asked with curiosity. Sam nodded and without thinking she made her way to the other side of the bed, and sat down right next to him, leaning against his side and pillows.

"See? People love you!" Sam said happily as she scrolled down the page. "I mean look what Cupcake21 wrote; _Oh my G! What happened?! I hope my favorite tech producer is okay, I send my love and hugs to the iCarly trio! Stay strong guys." _Sam recited from the comments section.

Freddie smiled. "Well, that was nice of her." He said. Carly nodded in agreement as she watched Sam scroll down further. "Stop… right there, from uh… HungryMonkey16:" Sam stopped and let Carly read the comment.

"_What?! This is crazy, you guys like, JUST put a webisode of iCarly a few days ago! :( I hope Freddie's going to be fine :/ this bums me out, I hope you guys post a new video up soon! Best wishes from here in Arizona_."

"Wow, a lot people sure care." Freddie sighed with a smile. He had to admit, a part of him enjoyed having people being concerned about him.

"We should do that." He said. Both girls gave him a questionable look. "Do what?" Carly asked looking up at the boy.

"Make another video for them, I mean, it's been a couple days." Freddie suggested. A grin appeared on Sam's face. "Dude that's a great idea! We—"

"—Hold on, Sam do you have his camera?" Carly asked looking through Sam's bag. And as those words reached the blondes ears her grin disappeared. "No, I-I don't. I put it back in the studio." She said glumly.

"Dang." Carly mumbled. "Maybe, you can call Spencer to bring it?" Sam proposed. But Carly shook her head. "I don't know, I mean he just left here."

Sam sighed in defeat as she turned to Freddie who was to her right. He was so close to her she could hear him breathe. "Maybe we can make one tomorrow when you get home, or in the morning?"

Freddie shrugged. "I guess, I don't Spencer to come back for nothing." He admitted, though he was slightly disappointed.

"I know what we should do…" Carly spoke a little hesitantly. Both Sam and Freddie looked at her, ready to hear what she had to say.

"Truth or Dare—" "Urghhh!" Sam groaned in annoyance, cutting her best friend off. Freddie slightly chuckled at the blonde's response, but Carly didn't find it as amusing, and rolled her eyes.

"Come on Sam—" "No, no way are we playing that stupid, girly game Carl's, you know what happened last time, and I don't want a repeat." Sam said, refusing to take part of the game.

Carly sighed in annoyance. "That was years ago Sam, plus there are just three of us now, not a whole group." The brunette continued to persuade her at no cost.

"Fine, then lets vote." Carly announced turning towards Freddie. He had an amused smile on his face as he watched the two bicker.

"All in favor of playing." Carly said, raising her hand alone. A smile began to grow on Sam's face when she saw Carly's hand was the only one up.

Carly waste no time shooting a playful glare towards Freddie.

"What? I'm a guy, I'm not into all these games." He defended himself with a smile. "Fine, whatever, you guys just killed all the fun out of sleepovers." Carly pouted.

Sam laughed. "Ya can't kill what you never had." She commented under her breath, but both her friends caught it.

"But seriously, what should we do?" Sam asked with an uncontrolled yawn. "We could watch a movie or something." Freddie suggested.

"What about your concussion? I thought you weren't allowed to—" "It's gone, Dr. Baits said I just have to limit myself." Freddie said taking any concern Carly had, and throwing it out the window.

Carly turned to Sam who took it into consideration. "Why not?" She said relaxing deeper into the pillows. The blonde didn't dare move from her place next to Freddie. Though she refused to admit it to herself, she liked having him that close.

"Okay, I hope the hospital has some good movie features on their TV." Freddie said grabbing the remote and turning the television on.

After they found the features, which revealed a collection of various movie titles Sam pointed to some horror action movie that she just had to watch, but after Carly suggested they watch Dancing Fools, they all agreed on that one.

…

"_But you have to keep dancing Josh, if you don't you'll go back to your old life, of crime, and drugs!" _The sentence came out of the TV as they continued to watch the film.

Carly had tears in her eyes as she uncontrollably shoved pop corn kettles in her mouth. Freddie was just watching the screen, it strangely captivated him, but at the same time he could tell it was poorly written.

Sam had literally fallen asleep and her entire upper body rested on Freddie's right side. Her head comfortably snuggled at the pit in the beginning of his arm. But he didn't mind, a part of him even enjoyed it.

"_I don't except you to get it Molly, you come from the highest class in society—you're not some nobody from the hood—you'll never understand me!" _The television roared.

Carly sniffed, which caught Freddie's attention. He glanced her way and smiled in amusement from her reaction. This was clearly a chick-flic.

"_But I love you!" "No, you don't love me, you love the dancer in me. Goodbye Molly." _Freddie turned his head back to the TV as the final sentences ended. Carly let out a small sob as she watched the main character walk away from the girl.

The credits rolled in and Carly quickly dried her tears, and went to turn the lights back on. "Just dim the lights, she's asleep." Freddie whispered towards the brunette girl. Carly hadn't even realized but her best friend had dozed off practically on Freddie.

"Aw," Escaped from Carly's lips as she saw them together. "When did this happen?" She asked in a hushed tone.

"'Bout halfway into the movie—it's fine, she can sleep here." Freddie reassessed not wanting to wake the sleeping blonde up.

Carly smiled and took her seat, getting comfortable with a pillow the nurse had provided them.

"Can I ask you something? About Sam, and I?" Freddie said, slightly hesitating, but the question had been burning in the back of his mind from when Sam introduced herself to him.

"Yeah, of course." Carly said, trying to contain her happiness. "Sam, she mentioned that we used to… date… I was uh, wondering, what happened between us? W-why didn't it work out?"

The question caught the brunette by surmised, but luckily she was prepared to answer. "She never really explained why, but she did reveal a few things, and I caught on with the rest… you guys were having a little trouble going from the best friends faze into the boyfriend, girlfriend thing, and I think it kinda back fired… so you guys decided to end it, for now—o-or then, actually." Carly clearly explained.

Freddie nodded. A disappointed "Oh" was all that came out of his mouth. "Thanks." He added swiftly.

"Why do you ask?" Carly said quickly before he had the chance to change the subject. Freddie shrugged. "I-I don't know, I guess-nah never mind… I'm jus—I'm just wondering, that's all." He said.

But Carly could read him like a book in that moment. She knew there was more to that then he revealed.

…

**There's chapter 18! Sorry for the long weight, I was on vacation! Leave a review! Next chapter Thursday! Hope you enjoyed! Love you guys! **

**-C **


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Chapter 19/ Home Coming**

As the sun rose beyond the mountains and its rays streaked thorough the glass windows of the hospital room, Carly gave a tried yawn and opened her eyes. She had no idea why she was waking up at such an early hour, it was nearly six am, and they had gone to sleep late in the night.

But she didn't question it any further as she let her eyes linger around the room, seeing if any others were awake. They weren't, both Freddie and Sam were nestled into each other on his bed, peacefully asleep, without a care in the world. Sam had nudged her head into his neck, completely leaning on his side, and Freddie, with his head leaned back, had his arm draped over his stomach, caressing his fingers against her arm. Carly watched them for a few moments just taking in the sight. She hasn't seen them so calm and halcyon in a while. It seemed as if everything was finally settling into place.

Then she realized why she was awake. Every night or so Sam would wake her up from her fits—nightmares. Her body was used to that schedule that it didn't know what time to wake itself.

But Sam didn't have nightmares tonight. The Carly quickly examined the blonde from where she was sitting. No bags were present under her eye's which usually indicated a restless night, and she hadn't broken into cold sweat, so not stress.

Carly couldn't believe it. Sam had nightmares almost every night ever since the accident—just not tonight.

The brunette sighed and continued to gaze at the two in wonder, before getting up deciding to give Spencer a call out in the hallway with the news. But before she made her exit she pulled out her PearPhone and snapped a quick photo of them, hopefully she would be able to blackmail Sam with it as a joke later on or something like that.

"Carly?" Her brother's voice erupted through her phone. A normal person would've appeared to be tired, but the way Spencer sounded only concerned Carly, there was a sense of urgency to his tone.

"Yeah, hey."

"Oh thank god, I wanted to call but wasn't sure if you were awake, listen I've got some news." He exhaled sharply. It didn't sound good to Carly, so she frowned and tightened the grip on her phone with worry.

"Okay, what type of news?" She asked.

"I just got off the phone with the investigative agent on their case." She replied. Carly frowned deeper in confusion. Investigative agent?She thought. "Oh, I didn't realize they had one."

"Yeah, they um, they finally towed the car form the scene, they want me to go take a look at it today, see if I want to take it back and fix what left of it, or scrap it away…" He trailed off. Carly stopped pacing and leaned against the wall.

"Oh." Was all she said.

It took her a moment to fully process everything he was saying, but once she did she knew what the best thing to do was. "I think we should talk to Sam first, maybe she wants to see it—o-or something before we decide?" She suggested.

Spencer nodded. "Yeah, that's what I was thinking—I just… I don't know, do you think it's such a good idea to do that?" He asked unsurely.

Carly hung onto his every word and shrugged. "I-I don't know." She said faintly. "Will she even want to see it? I—mean, I-I don't know what to do Carl's." He exhaled in confliction. "She will, trust me, this is Sam, she never hides from the things she fears." Carly admitted, pressing the phone closer to her ear.

"W-when are you supposed to go see it?"

"Today, in about an hour." He said.

"Oh."

"Yeah, just ask her and call me back, if she wants to see it, great, I'll pick you guys up, if not then whatever." Spencer said after much deliberation. Carly nodded. "Okay, I will." And with that she hung the phone and walked back into the room without much thought.

…

The odd trio walked calmly through the thick fog in the police yard. They were being escorted to view Spencer's damaged car, and decide whether it was salvable or not.

Sam tried to stay calm in the situation, she evened out her breathes and cleared her head in preparation. She didn't really know how it would look right now—the accident had happened in the dark, she remembered the driver's side window was smashed open, and that the dashboard had fallen and crushed on of Freddie's legs, but that's all that she can really remember about the car. The thing that scared her most, was seeing it in pure daylight.

The tall police officer came to a slowly stop a few feet in front of them and turned to his right where the car lay.

No one said anything for a while as they stood before the car.

The passenger side of the car, if someone would ignore the other half when viewing it—looked completely fine. The other side didn't.

The car's hood was bent upward at an odd angle, part of the engine was visible, but that was because it was horribly damaged. The frame supporting the windshield was crushed inward, and there was a giant crater where part of the engine should be. The paint job was violently scratched off—showing the powerful force the semi had on the car.

Sam examined it closely as she walked around it at a slow pace. Everything seemed to be heightened, every scratch, every dent, everything. Her heart began to race just looking at the car, painful memories entered her mind.

_"Freddie." She called out. "Freddie, answer me!" Nothing._

_She turned her head towards the driver's seat and she could see Freddie's still form there, in the ruins of what had once been a driver's side._

The whole side of that car was in crippling condition. The door had been molded into a piece of trash, the window had been smashed into tiny pieces, there was blood, and a lot of it; all over the place. "Freddie." Her voice started shaking as she realized what had happened.

Sam shut her eyes tightly to block the memory and clear her mind, but it was difficult, the memory was stubborn. After a moment she exhaled and continued on, she was now facing the driver's side—the bad side.

The bottom part of what was left of the door window still had a row of cracked glass, there was dark red dried stains of blood in-between the pieces and once she saw it, she froze as another wave of memories hit her.

_"You okay?" Sam asked in an alarming tone._

_Freddie didn't try to move this time. "I think so, just hurts... to breathe." He said exhaling sharply. He took an uncomfortable deep breath and frowned. "You okay?" He asked this time._

_Sam nodded. "Something's up with my arm but... but that's all." She was getting distracted by the heavy amount of blood that was flowing out of a gash in his head. "Freddie you're... bleeding..." She mumbled._

Sam quickly took her eyes off the window and set them on the frame of the car that was supporting the windshield.

The windshield wasn't broken, but it was horrible cracked and bent inward just the like frame supporting it from the side was. Sam could almost see the outline of where the semi hit them. She brought her hand up to the dent and ran the tips of her fingers across the rough texture.

She could almost imagine it hitting them.

The blond took a deep breath and moved on, she cautiously move her hand to the door handle and opened it hesitantly.

Inside, it only got worse.

Her eyes set to the fallen dashboard, and the large dark stains in the driver's seat. Blood, She thought. Freddie's blood.

She stood there for a moment, allowing herself to take in and absorb everything she was seeing, before she placed one of her legs in the tight space between the fallen dashboard and the seat, and climbed inside, closing the door behind her.

Sam just sat there for a minute, placing her hands on top of the steering wheel. As she closed her eyes, she imagined herself in Freddie's shoes. Everything was still, there was a totally different atmosphere now then there was back on that night. It was calmer, and brighter, and more quiet.

That didn't necessarily mean it was better though. The silence only brought upon the eerie stillness of the place—it felt abandoned, foreign to her.

Sam closed her eyes once more and took a deep breath. Another memory struck out of nowhere—and she didn't fight it this time.

_"I might be able to get out of here but it's gonna take a while."_

_"Kay." Freddie mumbled out, starting to zone out and close his eyes._

_"Don't you dare close your eyes Freddork!" She yelled, panicked. But Freddie didn't listen. "Freddie!" She called out to him only to realize that he fell unconscious._

_"Freddie!" Tears threatened to escape her eyes but she held them in. Instead her eyes became heavily glassy. "Freddie!" She screamed his time in utter shock. She took her left hand and shook him violently. "Please. Please, wake up!" She continued to panic. "I can't do this alone... Freddie!"_

A soft knocking noise snapped Sam out of her trace, and she was sucked back into reality.

Spencer was the one knocking gently on the top of the car to get her attention. He leaned down so that he was at eye level with Sam and looked her straight in the eye with worry. "You okay?" He asked faintly.

Sam nodded, her eyes watering. This maybe was a bit too much for her to handle than she originally thought. She was supposed to be the strong one—now look where she was.

"Hey, so… what should we do?" He asked softly referring to the car. Sam exhaled slowly and tried to take in another breath, but her tears were threatening to escape and it was becoming hard.

She loved how he didn't say "What should I do" and instead said "What should we do" implying that she was a big part of his decision making. It made her feel in control for once in her life.

The blond swallowed as she made up her mind.

"Freddie should… he should see it." She said hesitantly. "He has to—may-maybe it'll help him—I-I don't know…" She let out rather quickly.

Spencer nodded, as he processed the suggestion. "Okay… sounds like a good idea."

…

"Okay, I had your mom put my number in your phone just in case... now, if you have any questions—or concerns, don't hesitate to call. I'll try my best to pick up alright?" Dr. Baits informed Freddie as she helped him in the wheel chair.

He was ready to go home—well physically he was dressed in a pair of sweats with a gray t-shirt and rested up, but mentally he was a bit freaked out, not knowing what to expect.

"Is this really necessary?" He asked in almost annoyance, referring to the chair. Dr. Baits nodded. "Hospital policy, sorry." Freddie nodded and mumbled under his breath. "They rolled me in here, I wanted to at least walk out." But Dr. Baits didn't hear him and started to push him down the hall, towards the elevator.

"Alright, let's go over everything," Dr. Baits said trying to make conversation. "how many times a day do you need to take your medicine?" She asked.

"Three times, nine am, three pm, and right before I go to sleep." Freddie answered, remembering from a previous conversation. "Good... uh, how long are you allowed to watch TV or use your phone?"

"As long as I don't get dizzy or light headed—" "Yes, or confused, or your head starts to hurt, I'd say keep it limited, try not to go over two hours or anything. Oh—no video games... I don't know if you're a video game kinda nerd, but no interactive anything on a TV or computer screen for a couple days..."

Freddie chuckled getting her joke. "Okay—"

"—Maybe you're a comic nerd, and in that case, you may read. Just keep it light." She continued stretching her joke. Freddie chuckled once more. "I get the feeling that I'm more of a technology nerd." He guessed out of nowhere.

"What makes you say that?" Andrea asked curiously.

"I don't know, I-I just kinda questioned all those machines and itched to know how they worked—some weird terms came to my head which I didn't think I knew, but I did." He explained. They reached the entrance of the hospital. "Your mom is bringing the car around—"

"The-the car..." Freddie mumbled uneasily.

Andrea caught his hesitance then walked around the chair to face him. "You're in good hands Freddie, trust me; especially if your mom is driving." She chuckled.

Freddie forced a small laugh then, with the help of Dr. Baits got up on his two feet. Andrea handed him his crutches and he balanced on those till he saw his mom bring the car around to the curb.

This is going to be on long ride. Freddie thought sighing.

...

"AAARGH! –Get out! Get out of my l-lobby!" Lewbert screeched when he saw Ms. Benson and Freddie walk in, and taking a while.

Ms. Benson ignored the freaky old man, but Freddie looked at him not knowing whether to be offended or to laugh. He couldn't help rest his eyes off that disgusting wart on his face, it was practically growing hair it was that developed.

At first he was in some amused state of shock, but as they waited for the elevator the man became horribly annoying as he walked around his desk with a mop and started to clean the floor underneath them; grunting with every motion he made.

As they climbed onto the elevator Freddie turned to his mother with a slight amused smile on his face and asked. "Who was that?"

"That," Ms. Benson answered. "is the building's doorman, Lewbert."

"Lewbert?" Freddie questioned the strange name. "Yes, but the name seems to rather fit him." Marisa said. Freddie nodded. "Agreed."

"So, we're on the eighth floor?" He asked, seeing the button was pressed for the eighth floor. "Yes, we live in apartment 8-D, and Carly and her brother live right across the hall in 8-C." His mother explained.

"And Sam?"

Marisa shrugged. "You know, I'm not really sure. Her and I aren't the best of friends—" "You mean you don't get along?" Freddie corrected in confusion.

Marisa nodded. "Precisely."

"But at the hospital, you seemed to get along pretty well." He commented. His mother shrugged. "Well, we both care about you and we agreed to set aside our differences for your sake." She explained.

"Oh, well—uh thanks?"

The door to the elevator made a ding, and swung open. Freddie had to admit, he was slightly disappointment his mother and Sam didn't get along.

To him, they seemed almost the same. They were both very protective of the things they loved, they were very demanding, and had high expectations from everyone. The only slight difference between his mother and the blond that he saws, was that his mom was way more emotional when it came to expressing her feelings.

Sam on the other hand, was pretty much a closed book.

"Here we are." Ms. Benson exhaled nervously. Both of them stopped in from of the all familiar door. Marisa pulled her key out and unlocked the front door, revealing the small humble apartment.

The first Freddie noticed was that the place was an open concept, in front of him lay an contemporary style couch, an old fashioned arm chair to the right of the couch, and a side table with a picture frame of the left, with a around fancy coffee table in the middle. Behind the living area was a large dining room, with a large window, opposite of the front door. The walls there were covered with this dark red pattern wallpaper.

To the right of the living space lay the open kitchen, it was big, yet it wasn't small. It had dark wooden cabinet with red granite countertops. It was square shaped, and had a island to sit and eat at.

He saw that to the left, was a large hallway, and guessed that the rooms were along that.

"So, this is home." Marisa began setting her things down, and taking her coat off. Freddie stood there examining the space with a smile. To him, the place seemed inviting, welcoming. It felt like a home.

"Just follow me dear." Ms. Benson said disappearing into the hallway to the left. "This is a closet, the linens are there, along with pillows and what not, just in case you'd want more," She began, pointing to a door.

"This is my room." She opened door, and Freddie stood in the door frame overlooking the strangely familiar place.

There was a decent sized bed with side tables and a dresser, It looked like a normal parent bedroom.

Marisa directed him back to the hallway and pointed across from her room. "This is the main bathroom, but I doubt you'll use it, you have your own in your bedroom." She explained.

"We have another person living with us—" "—T-bo right?" Freddie finished for her, when Marisa gave him a questionable look he explained that Carly told him about their living situation the day before.

"Yes, but he doesn't come back till the late hours of the day, he runs a popular smoothie shop down the street." His mother continued on, as he nodded, understanding.

"Okay, this is your room, right at the end of the hall." Ms. Benson opened it and walked in.

The space was much bigger than his mothers bedroom, parallel to the front door lay a large bed with dusty blue covers, above bolted into the wall a shelve filled with a bunch of random awards and nerdy stuff, such as action figures and fake laser guns.

The room had rustic brick walls that brought a lot of character to it. On the left of the bed stood a large arch shaped window, cut in the shape of squares.

On the other side of the room on a platform was a long modern desk filled with two computers and a bunch of projects he was working on at the time. It was just clustered with a bunch of things.

On the right of his bed was another door which he guessed led to his bathroom. Overall it was a normal nerdy bedroom, a dresser stood by the door, supporting a decent size TV. Normal.

Whoa, cool. He thought as he looked over everything.

"Alright, well we should get you to bed. You've had a pretty exhausting day." Ms. Benson began once more leading him to his bed. Freddie didn't protest, he did have a long and tiring day.

Earlier that day he woke up around eleven am, only to find that the girls had left. And then he ate, had another conversation with Dr. Baits, about do's and don'ts, then he went to physical therapy which took a lot out of him, and when that ended he was released. And here he was now.

With a yawn he nodded. "Um, I wanna see Sam and Carly, do you think it's if I go there later?" He asked getting into his bed.

Ms. Benson hesitated, it bothered her to let him out of her sight but she agreed remembering a talk she had with Dr. Baits. She had to let him do whatever he like, it was key to restoring his full memory.

"Of course, I-I uh actually got off the phone with Spencer before I came to pick you up. Apparently they have some news." Marisa revealed. "Oh?"

"Yeah, but we'll talk about that later okay?"

Freddie nodded, but he was honestly too exhausted to wonder about what she was talking about. With all the moving around and information he was getting he was tired as hell. And as soon as his head hit his pillow sleep fell upon him.

...

**So there it is chapter 19! I fixed a few mistakes! Hope you enjoyed, chapter twenty is coming soon and I promise there will be some major SEDDIE soon!**

**-C**


	20. Chapter Twenty

_**Previously on iDon't Remember:**_

"_Listen I've got some news." Spencer exhaled sharply. It didn't sound good to Carly, so she frowned and tightened the grip on her__phone__with worry. _

"_What type of news?" She asked._

"_They finally towed the car form the scene, they want me to go take a look at it today." Spencer revealed_.

…

_Sam examined the car closely as she walked around it at a slow pace. Everything seemed to be heightened, every scratch, every dent, everything. Her heart began to race just looking at the car, painful memories entered her mind._

_She stood there for a moment, allowing herself to take in and absorb everything she was seeing, before she placed one of her legs in the tight space between the fallen dashboard and the seat, and climbed inside, closing the door behind her._

_Sam just sat there for a minute, placing her hands on top of the steering wheel. As she closed her eyes, she imagined herself in Freddie's shoes. Everything was still, there was a totally different atmosphere now then there was back on that night. It was calmer, and brighter, and more quiet._

_"Hey, so… what should we do?" Spencer asked softly referring to the car. Sam exhaled slowly and tried to take in another breath, but her tears were threatening to escape and it was becoming hard._

_"Freddie should… he should see it." She said hesitantly. "He has to—may-maybe it'll help him—I-I don't know…" She let out rather quickly._

…

_"So, I get to go home?" Freddie asked in almost confusion._

"_Yes."_

_Freddie barely heard a word she said; he was too busy panicking about leaving. It was a good thing, it meant he was getting better… but he didn't know why he was so terrified by it._

…

_"Okay, this is your room, right at the end of the hall." Ms. Benson opened it and walked in. _

_"Um, I wanna see Sam and Carly, do you think it's if I go there later?" He asked getting into his bed._

_"Of course, I-I uh actually got off the phone with Spencer before I came to pick you up. Apparently they have some news." Marisa revealed. "Oh?"_

_"Yeah, but we'll talk about that later okay?"_

…

**Chapter 20/ Emotions Run Deep**

About week had passed since Freddie had gotten home. The gang quickly let in him, on the news of the car, and that if he wanted, he could see it.

And after much thought Freddie came to a conclusion that it was the best thing he could possibly do to help himself. But they still hadn't gone back yet. And the car remained sitting in the police yard.

Freddie had slowly begun to remember a few insignificant things but still, nothing major. He remembered things that had happened like short scenes from movies, he remembered the whole iCarly franchise but when it came to people—it was harder.

That day Marisa sat Sam down at her kitchen table while Freddie was sleeping in his room.

"I want to discuss a few things with you Sam." Ms. Benson said lightly. Sam knew it was coming—it was bound to happen. Freddie's mother was finally gonna put an end to her visiting him—she was too much of a bad influence on him.

But what came out of Ms. Benson's mouth next, was nothing compared to what she was expecting.

"As you know I have to go back to work tomorrow morning," Freddie's mother began.

Sam nodded.

"And well, I need someone here to take care of Freddie while I'm gone…" She hinted. Sam pursed her lips. "So, you want me to ask Carly or something?" The blond asked.

"No, no." Marisa chuckled and shook her head lightly. "I want you to do it." She revealed surprisingly.

Sam tired to not look as shocked as she was. "A-are you kidding?—Aren't you worried I'm going to poison your precious Fredward or something Lady?" She asked rather quickly. It was honestly the first thing that came to her mind.

_Ms. B had finally lost it. _She thought to herself.

Marisa laughed. "Maybe in the past I would've, but now…" She shrugged. "I see the way you are with him Sam—you're not fooling anybody." Marisa said with an amused smile on her face.

This was confusing to Sam. She swore she's never seen Freddie's mother so direct—so normal for a change.

"O-okay…? Well, what do I have to do?" Sam asked uneasily. Sure, she hung out with Freddie all day everyday for the past week—and it was fun, but this time she would actually have to care for him—fill in the role of his mother. She wasn't so sure she wanted that.

"Well, all you have to do is what I have been doing for the past week. Give him his medicine at the right time—and make sure he eats three meals a day—though sometimes he's not up for it—in that case. It's okay."

"It's an important job Sam—but I know you're dedicated to him. I can see it."

Sam took a minute to absorb everything as she leaned back into her chair and after awhile she nodded. "O-okay, I'll do it."

…

_The next morning_

"Fredward." Sam said in a hushed tone as she stood next to his bed. "Freddie, wake up." She said a litter louder as she placed a hand on his shoulder and shook him lightly.

That seemed to do the trick as his eyes fluttered open and watched her in confusion. "Sam? W-what are you doing here?" He asked.

It never struck Sam that Ms. Benson might of forgotten to tell him she was gonna stay with him while she went back to work.

"You're mom's at work, she asked if I could stay here, and ya know… help out. No big deal." Sam shrugged removing her hand of his shoulder. As Freddie got out of bed Sam handed him his crutches then turned on her heals and walked out, shouting behind her.

"I made breakfast so, come on!"

…

As he ate he kept his eyes trained on the blond on the other side of the island counter, an amused smirk plastered into his face. Sam was leaning against the counter on her stomach, her elbows kept her from tipping over. She was indulged in some book.

"Ya know I never pegged you for a reader." Freddie joked lightly as he took another spoonful of his cereal. Sam looked up from her book with a slight smile on her face. "I'm not—but I read sometimes Benson." She said placing the book open on the counter, with the face up.

Freddie could clearly see the cover: _Advanced Custom Motorcycle Wiring. _"So, you're into mechanics?" He guessed. But the blond shook her head. "Not really, Spencer found a really cool old bike down at the junk yard, I'm just getting myself informed is all." She sighed.

"You done with that?" She asked noticing he was now barely touching his cereal. Freddie nodded. "Yeah."

Sam took the bowel and placed it into the sink then picked her book back up. Freddie had to admit, he was a little jealous the book was taking Sam away from him. So he remained sitting there, and after a minute he cleared his throat to get her attention.

But Sam didn't regard him and continued to read on. Freddie just watched for a moment. Her hair was up in a loose bun—something he's swore he's never seen, her eyes moved along the page of the book in a quick simple matter, longing for more and more information as she continued on. Her lips were slightly parted, her blue eyes focused and intense on the words she was absorbing.

As he gazed at her he could help wonder what on earth made him want to not be with such an mesmerizing person? Then again he didn't really know what did happen between them in the first place—I could've been her who wanted to end it for all he knew. But that still didn't feed the weird feeling he got when he looked at her.

"I-I'm gonna ask you a question," He said without realizing at first. "But you have to promise to answer it truthfully."

Sam looked up from her book a little baffled but she nodded. "Okay?"

"Wha—what happened… between us?" He clarified quickly. Sam looked a little taken back by the question, and it took her a few seconds to respond. The question was so abrupt—it literally came out of nowhere and she was quick to judge if that was what he was thinking about whenever he saw her.

"Um," She swallowed uneasily not really knowing what to say next. Sam was caught off guard—a thing, she knew only Freddie could ever do to her.

"Y-you know… never mind." Freddie said a little bitterly wanting more than anything to take back what he had said after watching Sam's hesitation. He got off the stool and made his way back to his room before She could stop him.

She indeed did want to tell him—but even for her it was still painful—and she didn't know why. But she knew one thing. That he deserved the truth—not some bull she had told Carly for her to drop the subject—but the real hard truth.

_We never really work out right. _Sam thought as she watched him walk away. _Doesn't mean I never wanted us to fix it._

…

A little while later Sam decided to go check on him—she had feared he would be angry at her, for being so resistant and defiant to what he wanted to know. Both Ms. Benson and Dr. Baits had told her to tell him whatever it is he wanted to know. But Sam was scared—she was scared that if he found out what happened between them, it would start again. They had gotten along so well in the past couple of days—hell weeks. She only feared if he knew what tore them apart before it, would being to happen again.

As Sam walked into his room he was nowhere to be found, be she had no reason to panic when she saw the window to the fire escape wide open. He was there again. And Sam knew he only used that placed when he had a problem.

She approached the window and stuck her head out first, making sure he was up for some company.

"Hey," She exhaled. Freddie turned his head towards her and gave her a quick nod. "Hi."

"You really wanna know…? Why we broke up?" She asked. It took him a moment but he nodded. "Yeah—I-I don't know why, but it feels like it's the only thing keeping be back—"

"—keeping you back from what?" Sam asked in confusion.

Freddie shrugged. "I don't know." He sighed then looked back at the open air in front of him.

"Y-you and me…" Sam began looking down at her lap as she fidgeted with her fingers. "we didn't really… click…"

Freddie waited for her to continue.

"You like that… I liked it the other way—we always fought." She gave in. Sam didn't want to continue. She had missed what twisted relationship they had—so much that she buried it deep inside and kept it hidden there.

Freddie remained silent.

"That night, the night we broke up, Carly was downstairs yelling at Spencer and some chick he was dating that treated him like a kid—and I think it dawned on us that we were acting the same…"

"You told me you _loved_ me that night Freddie." She said not daring to look him in the eye. But I already knew it… after we broke up, I hated you for saying that. I hated you so much!" She almost chocked on her words.

Right now Sam had no filter.

"But I hated myself too, I said back. I said I loved you back like an _idiot_!" She cursed at herself. Freddie approached her this time, he had not direct expression on his face—Sam could tell if he was angry or not.

He stood in front of her his face now a few about a foot away from hers. "We were so wrapped up in that moment that I forgot to speak—I wanted to. I wanted to say something, but you and cut me off. Saying something about wanting to break up at midnight—the worst part is that I agreed. I was so scared that the only good thing was going to walk out of my life that I kept my mouth shut and freakin' _agreed_."

Freddie's never seen her like this; so broken down and vulnerable. He reached his arm across and placed his hand on top of hers, his eyes locked on her facial features.

"Wh-what did you want to tell me?" He asked softly.

Sam looked up but still never met his eyes. She gazed across the Seattle skyline, the weight of his hand on hers felt like a million pounds.

"I wanted to _try_." She exhaled sharply as she clear her voice that was breaking. "I wanted to tell you that I didn't want it to end—that I wanted to keep fighting Freddie. For us?"

"But you and your smart ass mouth had to go and ruin any courage I had of doing that."

"what if I wanted to keep trying?" Freddie asked.

Sam let out a scoff. "Please, you don't even remember it Freddie—" "—That doesn't matter Sam—what if I want to try."

Sam then gathered up all her courage and looked him straight dead in the eye. "What are you saying?" She asked in utter confusion as she yanked her hand away from him.

"You don't even know me Freddie—" "—So? I know what I'm feeling Sam!" He said in defeat.

Sam stood up and paced around the small fire escape for a moment. "I can't Freddie—it wouldn't be right—"

"—Since when does the infamous Sam Puckett want to do the right thing?!" He asked. Sam stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes locked on his. "That's right Sam, I know a few things about you too."

Freddie stood up to, balancing on one crutch. They were a meer few inches between them now. Sam could almost feel the tension between them in that moment—the whole atmosphere changed.

"This whole past week we've been hanging out, watching movies, telling stories, pulling pranks on Lewbert—hell you even fell asleep in my room the other night!" He defended.

"You're right, I don't know you, but I know most of you—the way you are around Carly thought she's you're polar opposite—the way to reserve yourself around my mom, the way you care about _me_…"

He left Sam hanging on to his every word.

"you're not fooling anyon—" And suddenly, without much warning, Sam leaned in and grabbed arm for support—her lips never left his. At first Freddie was in some state of shock, but once he realized what was happening he began to passionately kiss her back.

…

**There is chapter 20! Sorry for the long wait, I'm now a junior in High School, and juggling theatre and writing and studying and—you get it! Haha. Please leave a review. There will most likely be only a few chapter left of this story, before I do a complete edit. **

**Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed.**

**-C**


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**Chapter 21/ Timing Is Everything**

_I'm wasted, losing time__  
><em>_I'm a foolish, fragile spine__  
><em>_I want all that is not mine__  
><em>_I want him but we're not right_

As they broke apart, panic seeped through the space created between them. The oxygen seemed to thicken around them. Only their shocked expression's hung in the air.

Sam couldn't take her eyes off of him for a few moments as shock ran through her body.

_What did I just do? _

She let her hand slip from his arm and it fell limply at her side. Freddie stared back down at her—even with churches he made her feel small standing next to him. And in that moment, that's how she felt; small, helplessness, weak, and that was not her. She wasn't this daffodil that needed constant care and protection. She looked out for herself—_he_ was the problem._ He_ made her fell ravaged—robbed of all the characteristics' that made her Sam.

Because the girl standing on the fire escape, eyes locked on the tall brunette boy she's convinced herself she hates, is not Sam.

Freddie swallowed uneasily as he took a step back to gather his thoughts. He had about a million questions and forming in his mind. _Why did she do that?—What does this mean?_

Sam parted her lips to help herself breathe easier still in utter disbelieve in what she had just managed to do. "I-I uh…" She was lost for words. She didn't know why she kissed him, she didn't even know how she mustered up the courage to do such a thing…

_He kissed me back._ She realized quickly, another wave of confusion swept through her.

Her hands quickly found themselves running through her hair in frustration, realizing her stupidity. She knows she can't do this now, even though it's the only thing in the world she wants.

The blond looks up into his dark, mesmerizing brown eyes—getting lost of the sea of emotions he's expression through them. What he doesn't know is she can read him like a book.

His eyes were intense with a raging mixture between pure content and confusion; longing but hesitantance.

"Sam—" He began to say but was quickly cut off by her. She shook her head quickly. "No, don't say anything—y-you can't talk."

Freddie frowned.

"Wha-?" "—don't, please. Jus—don't ruin it." Sam exhaled as she tried to collect herself. "I don't know why I did that." She said it so quickly as if she was ripping off a Band-Aid.

Sam took another step back as he tried to approach her. She stuck her hand out in front of her, a sign to for him to get any closer. "This is wrong Freddie. Th-this," She gestured to themselves. "_cannot_ happen." She reassured herself snapping out of the awkward trance they both seemed to be lost in.

"I-I'm gonna go." She said as she turned around quickly, but not quickly enough as Freddie caught her arm and kept her from leaving. She turned back around, now standing even closer to him that before. Sam could feel the warmth of his skin radiating onto her—she couldn't tell if he was just naturally that hot, or if he was fighting off a fever, but it was a haven in the cold, crisp Seattle air.

She longed to just close her eyes, to inhale his intoxicating aroma and never let go. But that was a fantasy, and it didn't matter how much she wanted it, it would never turn to reality.

"Sam wait." Freddie gazed down at the girl before him and exhaled deeply as if he was preparing to say something.

"Look, I-I don't know what this is…" He said pointing to the small space between them with his hand, and unnecessary hand gesture.

"and I don't know what this can become…" The brunette boy swallowed uneasily as he looked directly into Sam's conflicting eyes.

"all I know, is what I feel… and I know this is crazy, and completely wrong, and maybe even out of nowhere—but _I know_…" He took a breath and this time Sam managed to looked back at him too, memorized by his words.

"everything's been a mess in my life for the past couple of weeks." His voice breaks and Sam instantly senses this is a touchy subject for him. "and every time I looked at you, you managed to make it all okay."

Sam remained silent standing before him, she no longer made an attempt at an escape. Maybe she was tired, tired of running away from everything.

Even the good things.

"It only takes one look." He whispered, trailing off.

Sam shook her head lightly as she gave him a sweet small smile. "We can't…" She said faintly. "Not like this."

He didn't stop her this time. As she turned to leave, his arm lay flat at his side—he couldn't find the strength to keep her any longer. He just watched as she broke away from his soft grip and climbed back inside through his bedroom window.

And with a blink of an eye, she was gone. Leaving him confused and conflicted.

…

Quickly following her exit from the fire escape Sam pulled her phone out and sent Carly a short quick text. As she paced around his apartment trying to find her things so she can gather them, she wrote:

_Something came up, I gtg. Stay with Freddie. Sorry._

The blond grabbed her bag and jacket and shot a quick look back down the hallway that led to Freddie's room before she walked out.

She was running again. But this time she really believed it was for a good reason. What they both wanted was completely out of the question, at least for now. At least until Freddie was fully recovered and was, well; Freddie.

She missed him. And as she stood in the elevator going down she couldn't feel more alone. He wasn't the same—not really. Before, there were certain things he did that made her fall in love with him, or that drove her crazy but now, now he was just another person. Sure, he had his moments—these light, beautiful moments when he would do something that reminded her of the Freddie she first fell in love with. Like pulling out his famous smirk, or tapping his fingers in a rhythmic motion when he was impatient.

God she missed him.

Sam sighed and scoffed at herself in realization. She would never come to admit it, but whoever had once said; you don't know what you've got till you lose it, was so completely right.

Right now, she needed to get away. Distance would be good for them, she convinced herself. Plus Freddie would be there when she decides to come back.

The only question now was, where would she go? She had been practically living at Carly and Freddie's ever since the accident and she can't go back to that building—at least not tonight.

Her mom and her newlywed husband were back from their honeymoon but there were probably living god knows where. It surely wouldn't be back in the old two story house she once shared with her mother.

Sam paced herself as she walked down the street in no particular direction. She just needed to get away—her life had been turned to pieces the last few weeks and she's been dying for an escape.

Her phone rings once, then twice. But she refuses to look at it knowing it's just Carly calling to see what was going on. Sam wanted to answer, it wasn't like she was heartless and didn't want to, it was that she couldn't. Carly would find the truth out somehow and before she knew it, Sam would have more than one problem on her hands.

But she pulls her phone out anyway, not to call Carly back and stop her worrying, but to call someone else.

The phone rings three times before he picks up. She doesn't even bother with any casualties before she speaks. "Can you come pick me up? I'm a few blocks north from Bushwell."

…

"Why would she just run off like that?" Carly asked in confusion as she paced around Freddie's room.

Freddie shrugged as he sat up in his bed—for reasons unknown to him, he wasn't feeling too hot, so he had asked Carly to help him back in bed.

"I don't know." He mumbled uneasily. Carly then spun around as if it suddenly came to her. "Something happened, didn't it?" She accused with wild eyes. Freddie shook his head and pretended she was lying. "What-? No…"

But Carly saw right through his lie and glared at him. "Something between you two…" She continued now in an almost excited matter. "Carly noth—"

"What did you do?" She asked more softly now taking a seat beside him. He remained silent for a moment debating in his mind whether it was okay to tell Carly. "Come on!" The brunette girl complained.

"You can't just hint that something happened and don't tell me Freddie!" Freddie sighed. "Yeah, sometime did happen, but… she's not here—she left. Doesn't that already tell you how it ended?"

Carly swallowed, she hadn't realized what he had said was true. She had gotten so excited she forgot about the main reason she was here. Sam left.

"Okay," Carly began once more after a few seconds. "Let's drop the subject for now—"

"Thank you." Freddie exhaled in relaxation. Carly sighed and her shoulder brushed up against his arm. She left a sudden wave of warmth in which she turned towards him, panic in her eyes.

She quickly placed her cold hand on his arm. "Freddie," Her hand rose to his forehead. "You're burning up!"

"Am I?" He asked, concern was lacking in his voice.

"H-how long did you stay out on the fire escape?" She asked as she dug around his bedside table for a thermometer.

"Carly, I'm fine." He protested abruptly, making her stop searching. Carly turned back to him worry laced in her eyes. "You are not fine, okay? You just had brain surgery Freddie!" She returned to digging through the drawer.

"You don't get to tell me you're _fine._"

"Carly I'm just a little warm—nothing else—" Freddie began to protest. "Just a little warm?!" Carly was beginning to sound a bit crazy. "Yeah Freddie, and you and Sam _just_ got into a car accident. And Sam _just_ broke her arm, and you _just_ slipped into a coma, and you _just_ lost some memories, and you _just_ had brain surgery!" She erupted out of nowhere.

"_You_ don't get to tell me you're fine." She repeated, tears now fell down her face as she found the thermometer. "B-because you, are not fine… none of us," She exhaled trying to stay calm. "are _fine_."

"Carl's I…" He had no words to say. He watched as she cleaned herself up, whipping the tears from her eyes and sniffing away the sobs that threatened to overcome her

She sat down once again. "Now put this under your tongue and don't complain." Freddie gave her a small sad smile but agreed.

…

As Sam climbed into the car which pulled up against the side of the road, she heard his sarcastic familiar voice ring out.

"Sam, _always_ a pleasure to see you." He said with a sardonic tone. Sam closed the door behind her and rolled her eyes. "Oh shove it, and drive Kyle."

Kyle nodded and shrugged. "Yes ma'am."

A few seconds passed and they remained silent… then a few minutes, and by the time they knew it an hour had passed, and nothing had been said. Kyle was still driving around with no certain destination in mind.

"Do you wanna tell me what's wrong?—"

"No." Sam exhaled no even bothering to look at him. She was staring out the window intently, watching the cars fall quietly behind them as he pressed the gas.

"So that's just it? I-I don't get an explanation for… this?" He asked with a smirk. Sam nodded. "Yup."

"Sam…I can't just drive all da—" "Do you miss her?" Sam cut him off abruptly, and when he didn't answer from confusion she clarified. "Your mom, you said she died a while back… do you miss her?" The blond said those words as if each one of them was a stake to the heart.

Her phone buzzed.

Kyle turned his eyes back on the road and nodded. "Yeah, of course I do."

Sam nodded. "I miss him, Freddie. I miss him." She admitted bitterly. Silence overtook the atmosphere in the car once more and Sam remained quiet.

_One missed call from Carly._

Until another thought came to her mind. "Sometimes I wonder if I would've been easier on all of us… if he died." She said hesitantly. "It would be easier on him, I see the way he struggles… and it would've defiantly been easier on u—"

"—No." Kyle said shaking his head. Sam looked up at him curiously. "If you're asking if your life would have been easier if he died back in the crash, the answer is no… what you don't realize, is once they're gone, they're _gone_ Sam—you, you can still talk to him, you can still see him, be grateful of that."

_Two missed calls from Carly._

Sam swallowed listening carefully. And suddenly the thought of Freddie six feet under was so utterly terrifying she cursed at herself for ever thinking it. A sob threatened to escape as her eyes watered up. "I'm a horrible person right? For thinking that?" She said through her silent tears.

Kyle shook his head and frowned. "No, Sam… you're only _human_."

Her phone buzzed once more letting her know it was her third missed call. "Aren't you gonna get that?" Kyle asked. Sam looked down at her phone and pressed delete. "It's not important, just keep driving."

…

"That's it, I'm calling your mother!" Carly exclaimed in panic, she didn't know what else to do anymore. Freddie had a temperature of 101.6, he claimed his head was pounding and she was running out of options.

"No!" He continued to fight. "Carly its probably nothing." He said slowly getting up from the bed.

But Carly refused to listen, she took one look at him and how much he had transformed in the past hour and decided to dial.

As soon as he tired getting up a wave of nausea swept through his body sending him a in sitting position on his bed. He closed his eyes and tired to make the world around him stop swaying.

But he couldn't, he was too distracted by the constant pounding in his head, he felt like someone had run him over by a train.

Carly paced around the room with the phone to her ear. Ms. Benson had promised to keep her cell phone on at all times in case something like this happens but she wasn't answering and Carly was beginning to lose it.

Sam wasn't picking up, Spencer wasn't home, and now Ms. Benson was silent. "Come on…" She begged softly through the phone.

But the call went directly to voice mail. The brunette girl debated whether to leave a message, but what would she say without worrying his mother and kicking her into the crazy parental drive?

Carly hung the phone up and bit her lip. "Okay," She took a deep breath and tired to clear her head and think straight.

"Freddie, lie down. I'll be right back." She instructed.

Carly ran out of the room and into the kitchen where she gathered as many ice packs as she could in her arms as she tried for Sam once more. "_This is Sam, you know what to do. Beeep."_

The brunette raced back into his bedroom, but found it empty. "Freddie?" She heard a sound coming from his bathroom and as she approached the door she recognized the noise as… gagging.

She dropped the ice packs where she was standing and swung open the door. Freddie was bent over the toilet, the stench of vomit overcame her nostrils as she walked further in, but she didn't care.

"Oh Freddie," She let out subconsciously. As she drew closer to him she noticed something quite odd. A darkened substance lay among the chunks in the toilet bowel, and as Freddie turned to face her, she realized what it was.

Her heart sank into the darkest pit in her stomach. "Oh my god." She exhaled faintly.

_Blood._

He was throwing up blood.

…

Sam's phone rang for what seemed like the fiftieth time that day. "You know, you should get that…" Kyle said knowingly.

Sam gave him a _back off _glare, but she sighed knowing he was right. "It's Carly, she probably want to know what happened, it can wait."

"Sam," Kyle moaned in annoyance. "Just pick it up and let her know you're alive." He said as they pulled to a stop at the red light.

"Alright, alright." She sighed loudly and pressed the _answer_ button, and rose the phone to her ear. "Hey Carl's, I'm don't worry I'm al—"

"Sam where have you been?!" Carly nearly shouted into the phone. The relaxed state of mind Sam was currently at shut down once she heard the Carly's panicked voice.

"I-I, Fre—"

"never mind that, Sam, Freddie's throwing up blood… a-and h-he had a fever—Ms. Benson isn't picking up, and Spencer is out..." She continued rambling on, but all Sam heard was. _Freddie's throwing up blood. _

"What?! Th-that's impossible… w-went I left he—he was fine!"

…

**Chapter 21! There ya have it! I promise way MORE Seddie coming up, sorry for the long update its just I'm super busy in my junior year of HS :( I promise to update faster! Though there isn't more to this. (Don't kill me for what I am doing to Freddie, I know, I'm a monster… blah blah blah, but it is important, I'll be writing some super cute Seddie flashbacks about the week I skipped in the story!) So don't go anywhere! Hope ya enjoyed!**

**The song I used for the lyrics is Smother, by Daugther. (Not mine)**

**Reviews make me happy and help me write and upload faster! I love you guys! Thanks and don't forget to reviewww! **

**-C**


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Chapter 22 / Certainty Is All**

Freddie doesn't remember much of the car ride back to the hospital. It was all blurry images and a whole lot of pain. Where it came from? He had no idea, all he heard was the constant pounding of his heartbeat against his ear drums and the distant worried voices of Sam and Carly that took arduous effort to hear.

Sam was already in the backseat of Kyle's car, as Carly helped him inside, ias he caught a hold of his bearing he ducked his head and tried to get in with as little help as possible.

_Smack_

A wave of nausea washed over him as he heard the sickening sound of his head hitting the top of the car; he hadn't ducked low enough. From that point on his vision dances violent across his eyes—he could barely make out anything a foot from him, and It made his utterly dizzy so he shut his eyes and tried to focus on what he was feeling. From the inside Sam had grabbed his arm and guided him next to her, and behind him Carly waited patiently.

Both girls hadn't realized how much of an impact hitting his head made for him.

"Start the car Kyle!" He heard Sam shout from the distance, how was it possible she seemed so far away when he knew she was right next to him?

He heard the door shut and the engine start—but as soon as he registered those noises his brain began to pound against his skull and he instantly regretted it. He felt the car speed up and parted his eye for a brief moment to catch a glimpse of his surroundings. Bad idea.

Freddie only saw mere outlines of blurred people making him feel sick to his stomach. But there was nothing more he could throw up. He tried to sit up, and grip both Carly and Sam for support—but it was too much, his body simply wouldn't listen.

"I've got you." Sam whispered softly so no one could hear her but him. He wanted to nod, he wanted to turn to her and smile and tell her everything was going to be okay—but couldn't instead, he lean forward and cradled his head in his hands, hoping it would help ease the pain.

And that was the last thing he remembered before the world vanished from his grasp.

…

It had taken hours to get an official word on Freddie, during that time, both Spencer and Ms. Benson had arrived and were sitting with them, occasionally, Ms. Benson would pace around and stick her head in some files or check the computer for any update but it was useless as it was being updated at the time.

By the time Dr. Baits came, three and a half excruciatingly slow hours had passed, and they were all growing restless, but once they saw the young doctor they all stood up and gathered around anxiously.

"So, there's good news, and bad news." Dr. Baits began to explain, she looked at all their tired and worn out faces. "Bad news is he has a Pulmonary Embolism, which is an acute blood clot forming in his left lung which is the reason for his fever like symptoms and throwing up blood," she gave them all a few moments to catch up and process this. "we had to perform an Embolectomy and surgically remove the clot because of the size of it and risks it comes only treating him with thrombolytic medicines."

Ms. Benson nodded, the worry lines on her face only seemed to grow deeper. "A-and the good news?" she asked.

Dr. Baits exhaled and managed a smile. "Good news is, the surgery was successful, no complication—it went perfectly. Right now he's up in recovery, Ms. Benson you may go up there, and the rest of you when he's being moved to his own room, I'll have send someone down to get you."

"So he's gonna be fine?" Carly asked.

Dr. Baits nodded. "Looks like it." She then turned to Marisa as Carly let out a sigh of relief. The doctor couldn't help but notice how quiet Sam remained among them.

"I need you speak with you regarding some concerns." She said seriously as they broke away from the group and walked toward the elevator. Marisa's face fell, but she nodded.

"What is it?" Ms. Benson asked.

"I-I wasn't being completely honest with you back there." She began. Marisa frowned. "I knew they wouldn't understand it if I told them but there is a major concern regarding Freddie," Ms. Benson remained quiet and swallowed uneasily as they boarded the elevator. "In the trauma room, when he first got here, he stopped breathing—the clot forming in his lung cut off all blood and air flow. We tried to intubate him manually but his throat was too clogged and it had been five minutes and we were running out of time, but we managed.

"Okay…" Ms. Benson let out.

"Now here's the concern, we don't know how the lack of oxygen affected his brain—we won't know anything until he wakes up." Br. Baits said. "There could be more brain damage?" Marisa clarified. Andrea nodded. "Unfortunately yes."

…

It was now late afternoon and Sam and Carly were sitting in Freddie's room waiting on him to wake up—Dr. Baits had said it would be awhile before he would given the strong atheistic that had to wear off and the mediation they had him on. But still, the girls waited patiently. Ms. Benson had disappeared after a while with Dr. Baits and Spencer had made an excuse to leave for the moment no longer being able to bare sitting there any longer.

"So are you gonna tell me?" Carly asked looking straight at Sam. The blond girl frowned in confusion. "Tell you what?"

"Why you left… I mean you sent me a text with no explanation." Carly explained almost bitterly. Sam looked to Freddie then down in her lap trying to figure out exactly what to say.

"I tried to get it outta Freddie but he all he said is that something happened and it didn't matter what it was cause' you were gone." Sam shrugged and remained silent for a few moments before she gathered up the courage to speak.

"He… he kissed me—o-or I kissed him—I honestly don't remember but it happened and I thought it would be okay—but… it's not…" She trailed off.

"Oh my god." Carly let out. "That's great Sam! That's a good thing—" But Sam shook her head. "—No, it's not a great thing Carl's… he's not the same—he's not the same Freddie, it's not right—"

"—Oh since when has Sam Puckett cared what's right?" Carly barked back. She was completely right. Sam didn't say anything. "I thought so," Carly mumbled. "You know, I don't get you Sam… before all this, if you wanted something, you'd go get it—you'd make sure nothing got in your way… but now, w-what's changed? You're still the same Sam, and sure Freddie's not himself right now, but he's going to remember—"

"Stop saying that!" Sam cut her off. "Stop feeding everyone with this stupid crap Carly, it's just false hope… he's not gonna remember—he's never gonna fully remember, and you reminding us all of what he's lost, doesn't _help_."

Carly stared at Sam in horror. "Sam you can't think like that—"

"—No, I can think how ever I want! I lost him Carly! Freddie _died_ in that car crash! And as much as I want to believe it he won't ever be the same…" Sam hadn't realized it, but tears were streaking down her face.

Carly swallowed completely shocked by how quickly this conversation had turned. "Freddie, Freddie is gone." She choked out in realization. At this point all the anger trapped inside Carly vanished and she rushed to Sam and embraced her, as she cried.

As Carly did this, she couldn't help notice how wrong Sam was. Not only had they lost Freddie, but she had lost apart of Sam as well. The girls hugged for a couple minutes before Carly let go, sniffing herself, and said. "I'm gonna find Spencer, I'll be back alright?"

Sam nodded and sat back down in the chair, refusing to look at Freddie any longer. She relaxed and rested her head against the chairs arm, hoping sleep would overtake her from this nightmare.

…

When she woke she was alone. No Carly, no Spencer, no Ms. Benson. The sun had disappeared and replaced by the moon out in the night sky, she could see it through the window.

She wondered what time it was and how long she was asleep and looked around the room for a clock.

_8:08pm_

She had been out for a few hours. Her head snaps up at Freddie didn't look like he had woken up—or changed, which was a relief to her, she didn't want to miss it. The blond yawned and stretched her body out before pulling her phone out and texted Carly.

_Hey where are you?_ Sam relaxed back into her seat and sighed setting her eyes back on Freddie as she waited for Carly's response. She examined him, as if she was taking in his presence again.

He looked much healthier than the last time he was in here, his skin was back to its normal color, he took in even breaths, he appeared well-rested. Actually, he gave Sam the impression he was fine. _Good sign. _Sam thought happily, but that didn't change the fact she was still awfully pissed at him for making her worry about him.

Her phone buzzed. _In Cafeteria with Spence and Ms. B, eating dinner. Wanna join? :) _

Sam brought her attention to her phone and texted back. _Maybe later, too lazy to come down. :P _She then put her phone back in her pocket and made herself more comfortable.

"I hate you, ya know that nerd?" Sam sighed placing her elbow on the chairs arm and supporting her head with her arm. She gazed at him with a slight smile and shook her head. "Only you could make me feel like this Freddie." She scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"It's always been you hasn't it?" She mumbled.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that back there…" She apologized thought she doubted he actually heard Carly and her fighting. "I don't usually fight with Carly—not seriously that is…" She swallowed. "Of course you would know that, I think?"

Sam sighed and didn't say anything else for a moment.

"It's hard Freddie—this, is hard." She exhaled deeply closing her eyes peacefully as she accepted he wouldn't wake up and talk to her. She stayed like that hoping sleep would over taker her once more, but her arm was falling asleep and in annoyance she had to reposition herself.

That was when she heard him.

He released a small sigh as his lips parted, he was slowly coming to his senses, but had not yet opened his eyes. Sam managed a slight smile and kept her eyes trained on him as she leaned forward.

"Welcome back to the land of the living." She said.

He swallowed and exhaled deeply, gradually peeling his eyes open, then quickly closing them because of the piercing bright lights from above. "H-hurts." He let out, referring to the immense pain from his head that overcame him.

"Water." He said, noticing how dry his throat was.

Sam reached over to the bedside table and poured a glass of water for him from the pitcher. She handed him the cup and watched as she slowly brought it up to his lips and drank.

He then finished but as he took the cup away from himself, his face dropped, his eyes set on the foot of the bed, he was barely gripping on the cup anymore. "Freddie?" Sam asked. But he toned her out, trying to realized what was going on.

Everything came so suddenly.

Sam took the cup from his hand and set it back down before facing him once more. "Freddie what's wrong?" As asked again, concern laced in her voice.

But he remained silent. Panic swept across his face, as the realization hit him. From that moment he looked back to the anxious blond girl, wide eyes and all.

They locked eyes.

"Sam," He said it with such a familiarity—such certainty, it almost scared her. She was suddenly looking into the eyes of the old Freddie.

…

There's chapter 22! Hehe what do you think of it?! Leave a review! Love ya guys! Sorry for the cliffhanger! Hope ya enjoyed and another update soon!

Review!

-C


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

**Chapter 22/Back Where We Belong**

"Freddie," Sam exhaled uncontrollably. She gathered as much strength as she could and reach over, placing her hand on his arm. Disbelief ran through her features, this, he could easily see. "S-sam." He said. The words came out so clearly—so sharply. It almost scared the young blond. "Oh my god." Sam mumbled as realization hit her. He was back. Freddie was back. "You—you..." Something inside of her wouldn't let her finished the sentence. "…no way." She began to shake her he in almost denial.

Freddie just stared back at her with a blank expression. For him, thought his brain was storming up a massive headache, everything suddenly made sense. He nodded in hesitance. "Sam." He said, this time more comfortably as a small smiled erupted form his lips. Sam's grip on his arm tightened as she leaned in and gave him the most deserved hug she could. The touch was simply platonic at the time, nothing else. That would come later.

Freddie raised his arm to wrap his free arm around hers and as he did he breathed in a sigh of relief. "You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that." Sam exhaled once more. Then her toned changed. "And I swear Benson if you put me—or anyone else as a matter of fact, through something like this you're gonna get it!" She said, her eyes becoming glassy. "I-I gotta get your mom and Carly—Spencer… Dr. Baits." She trailed on as she attempted to let go of him. But he caught her arm just as she was about to slip away. "No, stay." He whispered. The sentence sent cool shills down her spin—the good kind. Sam nodded and quickly wiped the tears that were threatening to escape her eyes. She was trying hard not to let her emotion take hold of her, but she was failing. Those moments would redefine her life forever. "Okay," Sam began with a smile. "Whats my middle name?" She questioned knowing she didn't reveal it to him these past couple weeks.

Freddie pulled off an amused face. "What? Just answer the stupid question Benson!" Sam exclaimed almost sniffing tears of joy, she whipped at them aimlessly. Freddie then let out his famous smirk. Sam encouraged him to go on and he did as told. "Joy." He simply stated.

A smile erupted on Sam's face, but she still, she wasn't pleased. "Whats my favorite color?" "Way to turn this into a game Puckett." Freddie commented getting an slightly annoyed face from the blond sitting on his side.

"Brown." He then said without hesitation. "Why?" She shot back quickly. This time it took him a few seconds before it came to him—but the it didn't matter, it only mattered that it came. "Because its the color of Gravy." He finally explained after a slight struggle. Sam sighed and gazed at him. "God I missed you—you tell anyone that I'll kill you Fredly." Sam reassured him. "I should really go get everyone," Sam stated uneasily as she stood up once more. This time Freddie agreed with a nod of his head.

"Don't go anywhere Benson." The blond said just before she was about to make her exit. Freddie shot his famous smirk at her. "I'm right here."

As soon as Sam walked out the door Freddie exhaled in relief, not because her presence annoyed or anything. He just felt like honest to god shit, and he didn't like feeling like a kicked puppy, especially not in front of Sam.

"Ugh…" He moaned softly to himself as he headache grew. _What the hell? _He brought a hand up to support his head and closed his eyes, hoping it would somehow help relieve the pain. It did, but that still didn't change the fact that he still felt like someone had cut him in half and sloppily put him back together, mismatching a few pieces.

Freddie tried to relax back into the softness of the hospital mattress but found it hard to do so with a blinding headache. It wasn't until he opened his eyes again and the strobes of the florescent lighting above and strong colors blurred his vision that he actually felt sick to his stomach. Honestly he wasn't in the mood for a reunion right that moment.

Something was wrong, he could feel it. Something wasn't right—he didn't feel like this last time he woke up from surgery. He knew he had to let someone know when he could, but right then, he only shut his eyes and tried to get lost in a recent memory—his head ached if he tried to go back any further than a couple weeks.

_(Flashback, four days ago)_

_It was well into ten o'clock at night and the two teenagers had just finished the third installment of the Galaxy Wars series. The credits were rolled down as Sam yawned loudly and pushed her back against the pillow to get more comfortable. _

_They both were sitting up on his bed, scattered food and empty boxes of snacks laid lazily around them. "You up for round four?" Freddie asked turning to Sam, she was just about ready to doze off. And it wasn't because the movie was boring, it just had been a long day and she was beyond tired. But she shrugged after glancing at the clock on the wall. It read 10:38pm, Ms. Benson was running the late shift that night and wouldn't be home till at least two in the morning, if Freddie's head hadn't started to bother him after so many hours of starring at the TV screen, she couldn't see a reason not to. At least maybe it'll loll her to sleep._

_"Why not?" Sam said as she got off the bed and inserted the fourth dvd in. "Hey... you took your nine o'clock... right?" She asked referring to his medicine, as she peered over the bed. Freddie's eyes widened in realization. He shook his head. "Crap—I-I didn't. I guess we forgot..." He trailed off. Sam sighed. "Well you're not dead so I guess its okay—just do it now. And don't let Crazy find out about this—she'll kill me." The blond said as she left the room to grab the stuff he needed from the kitchen._

_"Here, you want me to do it, or—?" She asked as she sat on the side of the beside him. "Nah, I got it, could you just throw this away after?"_

_Sam nodded without hesitation._

_After finishing up Sam dimmed the light once again, sat back in her spot on the bed next to him and clicked play on the movie. She quickly made herself more comfortable by relaxing her back against the fluff of the pillow and grabbed the nearly empty bag of popcorn from her right._

_And as the epic story scrolling began Freddie couldn't help but turn his head and watch her for a moment. She didn't realized, she was too indulged in the film to be. He noticed the way she grabbed a handful of popcorn in her hand and from there picked at it. To him, she look beautiful. Her hair was tied in a messy bun with giant loose strands that fell from it, she wasn't wearing any makeup, and she was in these baggy sweats. But the way television light reflected on her face, it was like he was seeing the real side of Samantha Puckett, the side anyone rarely gets to see._

_And in that moment he swore he felt timeless, like he could sit there all day and watch her._

_In the early hours of the morning that's how Ms. Benson found them. Both passed out on the twin bed Freddie comfortably under that covers and Sam lounging on top. Marisa smiled at the view, though a part of her panicked seeing them like that she knew they were just sleeping so she left them like that. But before she left she grabbed a blanket from the closet in the hallway and covered Sam's petite body with it._

_…_

"Freddie?" He heard his mother's soft, yet concerned voice ring through his ears like honey. That was when he opened his eyes back up and a found himself surrounded by a group of people. His vision was no longer blurry, nor did his headache pound against his skull. He much defiantly felt better.

A small smile erupted from his lips as she saw his mother, she was smiling back down on him, her eyes tight with tears, showing off her deep worry lines. Freddie swore these past few weeks had taken years off her life he put her under so much stress. A wave of guilt hit him and he began to wonder why she wasn't going crazy.

"Hi." His voice came out a bit raspier than a before, but he quickly cleared it. "Is it true? You can remember?" Carly asked anxiously, she tried to desperately push back tears. Freddie turned to face her and gave the brunette a small nod. "Hi Carly," His smile got bigger as he gathered his energy. "Y-yeah, I guess so."

Then out of nowhere another pound pulsed against his skull; his headache was growing once again and this time he couldn't help but moan. His smile dropped and he raised his hand to his head again. "What's wrong honey?" Ms. Benson quickly asked reaching for his free arm. Sam frowned and leaned in, she was allowing them to all gather round him and all, but as soon as there was sign of trouble she was right by his side.

"M-my head, it hurts." He explained.

Marisa nodded completely understanding. "Yeah, that's to be expected. But I'll tell Dr. Baits, she's on her way down right now." His mother informed him. Freddie gave her a quick head nod, then shut his eyes. He didn't understand why this was beginning to happen again, he thought it was all over with.

Guess he as wrong.

"W-what happened? He then asked realizing he didn't know what exactly caused him to throw up blood. "

…

"Well his vital's are good, his incision looks non-infected and clean, I am a little concerned with the headache he has—I mean, it is to be expected, as you know, but I'd like to keep a eye on him for a next couple days."

"Couple? You mean—?" Ms. Benson asked in surprise.

"Yes, I mean prior to no more complications, I'll release him in two days." Dr. Baits explained to the worried mother after checking up on Freddie. "Are you sure? He jus—" "Marisa, he recuperated much better in his own home, and now that he remembers I'm sure he can't wait to go back… he'll be fine." The young doctor said with an encouraging smile.

Marisa nodded and looked through the glass door where her son lay, his friends surrounding him happily, laughing and crying. "Okay."

…

_(Flashback, one week ago)_

_Sam unlocked the front door of the quaint little house she shared with her mother. They lived right on the outskirts of the city, in a small and surprisingly safe neighborhood. Her life had been normal once upon a time ago before her father's arrest, her mother's submission to alcohol and her sister's departure. But now, she would often open the door to a cold and empty house, just as she did today._

_Spencer had just dropped her off from the hospital, Freddie was going home—actually he was most likely home by now. It felt strange to the young blond, to say that he was finally home when he really wasn't—at least not in his state of mind. It had been awhile since the accident, and honestly Sam was getting used to the same new routine, the same new normal. _

_She would wake up in the morning, eat breakfast and make her way to the hospital. She would usually spend the whole day there, then around eleven pm or so she would head back home and repeat the endless circle for days. But now it would be different, now, instead of just hanging out with Freddie, she would have to take care of him while his mother was at work. A part of her was ecstatic Ms. Benson had enough trust in her to suggest it, but another part of her was terrified she'd so something wrong._

_Sam set her keys down on the granite countertop and placed her bag on the floor. "Mom?" She called into the stillness of the little house. After a few moments of no response she decided she was alone and in a sigh she walked over to the sliding glass door and turned the blinds to let some light in. She didn't like the dooming darkness. Sam preferred the house to be light and airy, the way she would see it on television, with the happy american family and their golden retriever. She knew her life was far from that image but it was nice to be exposed that way sometimes. _

_The blond took a small moment to look outside into their backyard. It was now the ruins of a once perfectly luscious green space. The grass was dried and most of it was now replaced with dirt, where there once stood a fire pit now lay crumbles and chunks of the brick, a project her father never had finished—overall it told the story of her life all too well. She sadly took her eyes off the view and turned around pulling her phone out of her pocket walking down the hall and into her bedroom._

_She had one missed from Carly and one voicemail surprisingly, from her mother. As she made her way to her room called her voicemail and began to listen. "Hey Sam, me and Mark are going to be gone on our honeymoon for a couple days—listen, don't freak but I moved all my stuff at their house, when I get back you and I need to have a talk about these living situations, we'll be back in a week, bye."_

_Sam sighed and put the phone down on her nightstand letting the new information sink. She knew Carly had only called to check up on her and to give her and update on Freddie but she didn't feel like talking so she laid on her bed and took in a deep breath. _

_Finally, everything felt like it was falling into place—well, almost everything._

_The blond couldn't take her mind off Freddie, and their situation. Was she expected to do something? Was she expected to help him remember? What was she supposed to do. Sam had no clue. And the question was slowly eating at her brain._

_She just wanted everything to go back to normal—it was so much better that way. It was a world that made sense to her, that she accepted. This, this new reality—was one she hated. Freddie used to look at her. She would never let him now she knew, but she did. She would often catch him just watching her with this expression—with his priceless gaze, but now, the only look he would give her was one filled with confusion and sometimes panic._

_She missed the way he looked at her._

_Sam sighed and turned on her back, now staring at the ceiling before her. It was blank and bare—it almost reminded her of her relationship with Freddie. There was nothing between them anymore—and even though she refused to accept it, she knew it was true._

_God knows if he will ever remember, but she couldn't help but feel like this was all her fault. She was the one who pushed him to take her to that stupid FatCake Convention in Portland because she didn't have a car, she was the one who distracted them on their way home by blasting that stupid music before they were hit._

T_his could've all been prevented, and everything could've been the same. _

_But instead, Freddie was living with possible permeant brain damage and horrible memory loss. In the beginning he couldn't remember anyone—not even himself, but now, she had to admit he was getting better. He remembered who he was, and his mother even some parts of his father._

_Sam only hoped he'd be himself again, cause she didn't know how to go on if he didn't._

_(Flashback end)_

_…_

Sam and Freddie now remained alone, Spencer and Carly had decided to go home, rest up and come back in the morning seeing it was in the late hours of the night. Ms. Benson pleaded with her supervisor to let her continue to work, she thought it was best to keep her self busy around the hospital, this way she could check in on her son whenever she pleased, and she could have the extra money to cover another set of hospital bills that were going to come from his second visit. She had Sam to stay and keep him company for a few hours, and the blond of course couldn't refuse, where would she go anyway? Back to the empty house her mother had now left her? No, she loved being right there, right next to him.

Sam sat on opposite of him but close enough on his bed, indian style. She had a genuine smile on her face as they talked. God, she missed him.

And then, right in the middle of his sentence, she remembered. She remember what had happened early that day, and a mischievous smile overtook her expression as she lightly smacking him in the arm. Freddie stopped and frowned at her in confusion, he played with a slight amused smile on his face and spoke. "What was that for?"

"You know, what that was for Benson." The blond said, but after a moment of looking into his confused expression she continued.

"_That_," Sam paused. "was for kissing me this morning." She explained, with a now more serious look on her face. Freddie was about to say something before the blond cut him off once more. "I mean—what were you thinking Freddie?!" She asked a smile was returning.

Freddie sighed and thought about for a minute. "I-I don't know." He shrugged lightly to not hurt his clavicle. Another moment passed before he said anything else. "No—you know what, I'm not lying. I was thinking, that… I didn't know what I felt and that maybe if I just go for it, I'll know."

Silence hung in the air and suddenly the light subject appeared heavy.

Sam looked down at her lap before gazing back at him, now, with a question. "Well, do you know now?" She asked merely a whisper. Freddie swallowed but didn't dare take his eyes off her. He nodded. "Yeah." He said with the most absolute certainty.

"I know that I want you." He mumbled sweetly. This time it was Sam who swallowed. Then she leaned in, and quickly, before she could even hesitate their lips crashed against each other.

…

**That was chapter 23! I hope you liked it! Now I'm almost done with this story :( Wah, I know. :( but it was a blast to write, I think I have a couple more chapters to write before I end this, maybe an epilogue, so this is NOT the end! Haha that's suck if it was. Anyway, um if you guys want to see something happen? I don't know message me or write it in a review, I'm open to your suggestions! (but do it soon!) I love you guys! And OMG 195 reviews? I LOVE YOU! You are the greatest fans ever!**

**-C**


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

**Chapter 24/Onward Soldiers**

"We can't tell anyone, not yet." Sam muttered subconsciously as she pulled away from the kiss for a moment in time.

Freddie frowned reluctantly, and pulled back for a moment. "W-why not?" He asked in confusion. Sam exhaled and drew back even further, the space created between them now felt like a million miles. "cause its too soon." She replied all to simply thinking Freddie had understood that.

He had, but not up until that moment. His lips parted and an "Oh" came out. "I mean… you… you get that right?" Sam clarified now parting a distance between them. Freddie nodded. "I guess." He exhaled in slightly disappointment.

"Okay then."

"Yeah."

Sam leaned back in and began to kiss him once more, and for a moment it was great. But it was short lived and after a minute Freddie pulled away once again. "W-what do you mean by, it's too soon exactly?"

The blond frowned and gave him a puzzled look. There was a couple moments of silence before Freddie began to speak up and asks her to let it go after seeing Sam's perplexed expression. "Never mind, I just—" But she cut him off.

"No," She swallowed uneasily. "do you want this?" She asked softly, pointing between them. Freddie nodded. "Of course I want this!—" "then what the hell is the problem if we wait a little to tell everyone?!" Sam nearly exploded, now getting off the bed.

Freddie had a perfectly good reason to why he was so opposed to her suggestion. But he didn't speak up and watched her as she fought her own battle.

Sam was now pacing around the hospital room, rejection and failure twisted through her veins in a sense of betrayal as she spoke. "I think—ugh, I just wanna wait, I just this to be our own thing for a little while!" She struggled with her reasoning. She knew why she didn't want to let everyone know about them; it was clearly too soon—their emotions had gotten the best of the once again.

"I… I just don't want to waste anymore time." Freddie mumbled nearly in coherently. Sam froze, her body relaxing in the very place she stood, her eyes pinned themselves on his and exhaled in exhaustion realizing what he ad meant.

"We're not." She began to explain, shaking her head in the process.

"W-what are we Freddie? I-I don't even know… do you?" This was a question not meant for answering for Freddie remained silent.

…

Carly watched as the two fought inside the hospital room throughout the glass from afar. But she didn't want to interrupt them, she missed this… them, begin themselves.

"Watchya doing kiddo?" Spencer asked as he approached from behind. Carly smiled and shrugged. "Just watching." She stated simply. Spencer looked inside the room and let out a soft chuckle as the saw the two fighting inside. "I guess something's never change hu?" He said as he guided his little sister into the room.

"Guess not." Carly said.

"What's wrong now?" Spencer asked Sam and Freddie as they entered the hospital room. But as soon as they walked in, the room seemed to be overtaken by silence. Sam stopped shouting and Freddie shut his mouth, both, not wanting to let their secret out.

"What is going on in here?" Carly then asked suspiciously feeling the atmosphere.

"Non-Nothing." Sam let out quickly, then replaced her frown with a smile to connive the two Shay siblings.

Carly eyed both of them suspiciously for a moment before shaking it off and changing the subject. She would remind herself to ask Sam about it later.

…

"We're not wasting out time Freddie." Sam explained softly, they were alone again, for Marisa had gotten busy with some paperwork and Sam had sent Carly off to get her something just for the intent to get her out of the room so they could finish their pervious conversation.

"We're together… everything's normal… kind of."

"Oh, so now we're together hu?" Freddie teased her as one of his eyebrows shot up with a smile. Sam rolled her eyes in near annoyance. "I hu, I didn't know it had been decided." He continued.

"Well, It has. By me." She approached his bed and made herself comfortable next to him as she spoke cockily.

"But like I said; we're not wasting time if we don't tell anybody—"

"Yes but—" Freddie attempted to intervene and get her point across but Sam cut him off the finish her sentence.

"Ah ah ah! Let me finish Freddison. I'm not asking for a month for secrecy or something here… I'm simply asking that for the time being… we can keep this to ourselves—"

"I understand Sa—"

"Freddie! I'm asking for a few days—a week at tops! Can get just stop arguing and be civil for a minute?!" Sam nearly shouted, but she did it with a confidant smile, and in the end it was that which helped Freddie make his mind up.

He sighed and relaxed further into the bed, nodding. "Fine—I'm tired of fighting things… I just want to relax—It doesn't even matter anymore."

"Really?" Sam beamed at him. Freddie nodded. "As long as we stop fighting, really." He explained.

This time it was Freddie who leaned in for a kiss. No hesitation—no warning. Just pure passion—lust in the moment.

Sam exhaled sharply in content as they broke apart and leaned against his side, feeling the warmth of his body ratite onto her's—the effect was lulling—almost pulling her to sleep. It also didn't help that she cuddled her body against his in the process, but she didn't care if she fell asleep, because at least more once these past few weeks she can say she'll get a good night's sleep in the arms of the boy who loves her.

"I love you, ya know that?" She mumbled as she traced the outline of his arm soothingly. The atmosphere quickly lightened allowing room for light airway comments and calming mumbles of comfort.

Freddie nodded. "I can feel it." He said.

"I love you too Sam."

…

**Well, yup. that's the end.**

**Thanks for all the support and review and everything, I'm bona try to keep this short. This story is now over! Wow, It's been years you guys… and countless revisions… hehe… and more to come now that I am rewiring this story and editing it to be a little more different… and possibly longer. Anyway sorry for the long update! :( I know you must hate me by now… but yeah. I hope you guys enjoyed! It was fun to write and ya know, I love writing hospital tics (too much probably haha) but yeah.**

**OH-MAI-GAWD, it's been a few years since I've started this… and it honestly went in a direction I didn't inter it to go in so i was kinda disappointed in the ending, but it will all be fixed int he final edit of this story! YAY!**

*****STAY TUNED! for we-write and edited version (basically finale version)*****

**I couldn't have done this without all the support and love from you guys, again I love you and stick around for me Seddie adventures to come!**

**-C**


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